Super Bowl Sunday was a fail across the board. Joe Namath messed up the coin toss. The Red Hot Chili Peppers refuse to wear shirts. The Broncos refused to play football. And the only game we got on the NBA slate to rival the Super Fail was the Magic against the Celtics. A combined 28-68 record heading into the game, but hey, at least no one was wearing this coat! Russell Westbrook now has a wardrobe to makeover… Anywho, it was an electric 27 minutes for Rajon Rondo, who had his best game since returning. 9-11 from the field for a 19/6/10/3/0 slash can get anyone rolling. Well, except maybe the Broncos offense… Hopefully Rondo won a few people their matchups this week and their Sundays weren’t ruined by all that food and beer turning into absolute lethargy like I’m feeling right now. But alas we have fantasy’s best sport to pull us through the soul-sucking quicksand that was the Super Bowl as we grow nearer and nearer the playoffs. Here’s what else I saw this weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
No no no, that’s not some sort of euphemism for not flushing… Victor Oladipo had a unreal game last night, almost giving the Magic enough to beat the Bulls in tres overtime. I watched this game and was making all sorts of Oladipo highlights slashing to the rim. Ended up with a 35/4/8/3/1 line shooting 15-24 with a trey. Career-high alert! And it wasn’t due to the minutes (58), he only scored 2 in the 3 OTs I believe. Did boost his dimes by a few though… A guy I was extremely steadfast about holding onto and buying low is paying out your quarterly dividends. Well, it would be more like bi-weekly dividends, but if a stock did that I want in! The 8 TOs last night was a bugaboo, but just part of VO’s game. He’s going to continue to get these big minutes and touches for the duration. Pumped to see him finish out his rookie of the year campaign. Here’s what else I saw in a busy night of NBA hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m sure we’ve all experienced a day in our lives that through some kind of grueling experience we somehow came out victorious. On the inside all we cared about was the instant satisfaction of winning but on the outside we appeared broken and defeated. Not so long ago I had such a night. It’s not the shame that makes it so difficult to talk about, but the shame that there’s a sense of glory and accomplishment that goes with it. JB and I decided a few drinks were in order one night and we decided, while watching some NBA action, to have ourselves a little drinking game. Sure I thought, I’ve had a few already how bad can this be? The deal was that we would pick a player and for each assist that player had the other person would have a drink. JB wanted it to be field goals made but I managed to talk him into assists, or so I thought. “Chris Paul“, I said without hesitation. Looking back I probably had a really stupid smirk on my face. JB calmly ordered himself another, then he ordered me an appetizer – which looking back may have saved my life. With a perfectly calm demeanor I got to hear words that will still cause me to cringe, “Kendell Marshall“.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When you think of the Boston Celtics, you think about Larry Bird, Bill Russell, Red Auerbach, the Big Three of 2008, “now there’s a steal by Bird underneath to DJ he lays it in,” eight-straight titles, 17 overall, etc. Somewhere way down on the list, way way below Kevin McHale, John Havlicek, Reggie Lewis, and even Antoine Walker and Dominique Wilkins (yep, he led the C’s in scoring in 1994-1995), you think of Big Goofy White Guys.
Fred Roberts, Greg Kite, Brad Lohaus, Lou Tsioropoulos, Scott Wedman, Brian Scalabrine, Dwayne Schintzious, Mark Acres, Steve Kuberski … the list of useless big men of Caucasian descent who wore Celtic green is endless.
So while most of Boston cursed Danny Ainge for shipping Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce to Brooklyn for three number one picks and a pile of garbage that included Kris Humphries, the move made complete sense to me. Except for two inflated seasons for a worthless New Jersey Nets team, Humphries is the protypical big white man at the end of the bench that has become a symbol of Boston basketball pride.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As my good friends at Mr. Show previously theorized, 24 was thought to be the highest number. ”What about 30?!” And then NBA scorers were pulling exactly what happens in that skit. ”What about 31?” ”What about 32?” ”I gotta ask, what about 33!” Then Gilbert Arenas was like, “if people keep scoring like this, I’m gonna have to shoot em with Crittenton’s .45!” It wasn’t necessarily that many guys going off, just a few you wouldn’t have guessed. I’m trying to pick the most off the rails 30+ point night, so I think I’ll go with Alec Burks, who just looked awful in the two games before last night. 7-25 his past two outings, but goes 12-17 last night for career-highs in both points with 31 and dimes at 7. Added three boards and four steals with two treys for good measure. Burks has always looked like a good athlete out there, but never like a guy who could take over like that. I think a good debate is Burks or Terrence Ross. I’ll lean Ross, but very close, I just think Burks is too inconsistent. Here’s what else went down last night in hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hate you Larry Drew. First you go and make your son Larry Drew II feel like he’s some sort of special talent and have him quit UNC, then you take over a Bucks team that all want to leave too. Why do I have so much invested in the Bucks?! I hate the Bucks! In a game where the Spurs doubled Milwaukee’s points in the first quarter (32 to 16), then went up by 23 at halftime, then after 3 were up 38, Drew decided to kill fantasy teams by playing their F-team virtually the whole second half. As in, a D-League team could beat those guys. Brandon Knight got 18 minutes after an impressive game two nights ago. John Henson got 21 after the huge breakout. O.J. Mayo, yes that terrible, horrible, not gelling on this awful team O.J. Mayo led the starters with 22 minutes on a 3/0/0/0/0 line with a TO. Ok, ok, so Drew let his scrubs play in the blowout, good to see Giannis Antetokounmpo get some development time at just over 33 minutes, but the icing on the cake was Drew gave Ersan Ilyasova, a guy that looks like a humanoid Turkey, 39 minutes?! How is that developing young talent?! Ersan goes out and shoots 3-16 for an 8/6/2 game. The Bucks are the worst. You’re holding Henson obviously and Knight I think you stick with, but I don’t want any of these other guys on a 12-teamer. I know I like Khris Middleton, but he was part of the starting mess and I just dropped Mayo in some sort of RCL travesty I should probably take my name off of. I still think Knight, Mayo, Middleton and Henson are locked in as starters for now, but man, I really hope they look good facing the even worse Bulls again on Friday. Enough ranting from me! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you recall back to last week, I remember talking up Jon Leuer as an interesting deep league play. Loved the out-of-position threes, the boarding, the all-around production. I said I would probably go after him in REL, and then Slim tells me he’s probably not bidding on him this week. So I figure, I can dangle a few bucks and if someone beats me to him so be it. But it shouldn’t have been you Slim!! He Leuered me in with scoffing and brush-off ness. Slim, you want to repay me for this horrific slight of hand? Trade him to me! I guess I should talk more about Leuer than rant… Just over 27 minutes last night for 16/12 with a three on 7-14 shooting. This now marks five straight games of 23:30+ minutes, averaging nearly a double-double a game on top of almost a three a game with a few blocks. He’s not going to turn into some superstar, but he’s a great stretch the court center, which fits Mike Conley trying to drive and dish. Sorry Kosta Koufos, but your outside shots are labradoodles! That term needs to be added to the glossary… I see Leuer continuing his PT as a double double threat while Marc Gasol is out, with a handful of threes, steals and blocks to help out deeper leagues. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In Shaq-ramento, when Christmas carolers sing at your doorstep, if it’s deck the halls you must insist a free a Rudy Gay jersey! You better believe Sleep Train Arena is gonna deck their halls with Gay apparel. That is, if it has power. Zing! Last night, the Kings picked up Gay from the Raptors in a 7-player deal with a lot more fantasy impact than just the players involved. The Kings also picked up Aaron Gray and Quincy Acy, for the fewest letters in three surnames you could ever receive in a three-player haul. In return, Greivis Vasquez, John Salmons, Patrick Patterson and Chuck Hayes got exported to Canada. I hope they have winter wear! Instead of going over all of the impact in the open, it’ll be fettered out and we’ll focus on Gay at the top. Nothing changes. Brevity! Lots of shots, the Kings don’t become any better or worse, but get a good all-around player. The fantasy impact on Gay seems null. The trade overall I think it a win-win, both in real hoops and in fantasy. The Kings dumped guys that don’t really help their rotations for a star, and the Raptors break up their two high-volume shots guys with it not working. Plus the Raptors are looking to rebuild around the Luminescent Lithuanian. Then all sorts of fantasy optimism below, along with other action across the NBA over the weekend:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, this is the peril you get playing in other countries… After a generator next to the stadium in Mexico City failed, last night’s Spurs at [hah] Timberwolves got postponed after the stadium filled with smoke. It looked like Mexico City’s skyline of smog in there! Man, so many people are going to get fired over this. ”Who let their 5 year olds with squirt guns play next to the exposed wires?!” All the sudden the NBA is looking like the MLB… I haven’t seen a PPD since September! Brutal break for Spurs and Wolves owners in H2H formats as the reschedule is sure to be a while down the road. Usually I like H2H for hoops because you don’t get rocked when your team has bad weather (vs. H2H Fantasy Baseball which I loathe), but now you have to think about generator fires when playing in other countries! Well, I guess except Canada… They better have their shizz in order! Breaking News! The Raptors stadium has a Rob Ford crack den hidden within the locker room that caught fire, and they’re relocating to become the Reno Lt. Dangles. Go Reno! Here’s what else happened last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I have never seen JB so shaken up as he was the other day. Everything was completely normal when I walked in. Jude Judy was on like normal. His hands were covered in orange Cheetos residue like normal. A slight hint of alcohol in the air did have me question whether I really wanted to stop by but I risked it anyway. I didn’t get two feet in the door and the first thing he says is, “I can’t believe he’s dead.” It was strange because I couldn’t tell what the emotion was. He was definitely sad, angry too. “How could they just… he’s dead.” Oddly there was laughter in his voice. He could tell I had no idea what he was talking about and he continued, “Bryan’s gone.” I was saddened to hear the news but I had to stop him and tell him I didn’t know anyone named Bryan and NO I’m not going to shake your hand until you clean it off. He explained to me about Family Guy and the dog dying and it all began to make sense. Except for why he cared so much. I watched the show enough to know there was a dog but until then I didn’t know the dog even had a name. He could not accept this so he sat me down, muted the Judge, handed me the Cheetos, and began that days lesson in pop culture.Please, blog, may I have some more?