I don’t know why JB would do this to me. Do you know what he told me? He told me I didn’t fit in. He told me my only chance of being accepted was for me to join some program he was calling, “Avatar”. I believe his exact words were, “Yeah we can change your avatar, what were you thinking?” Wait… this was my idea? Was it me who asked him to take my sexy, bearded, aboriginal face and join it with my real life sexy, bearded, non-aboriginal face? I can’t tell what is reality and what is a dream anymore. All I do know is that in this world of mixed mediums, my body, or as JB keeps calling it, my “Avatar”, is merely a shell for my one track mind. A mind dedicated only to fantasy basketball; unfortunately sometimes this mind can wonder. Wonder back to yesteryear when Patrick Beverley was a sleeper or when Alec Burks was supposed to start for the Jazz. In an attempt to relieve those nostalgic days, I present to you my beginning of the season All Under-Owned Team. My cutoff was 30% owned in Yahoo leagues and hopefully with season-long appeal.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, there’s certainly been no lack of news this past week! No fantasy sport is safe from injuries, even in the preseason! Well, maybe fantasy fishing (yes, I’ve played it!).
As reported everywhere, even on tweens.com (I hope that’s not a real site and/or not an illegal site! Not gonna find out in my web history!), Kevin Durant has a broken bone in his foot, and the initial timetable in 6-8 weeks. But of course given it’s KD, and we’re nearing the home stretch of the fantasy drafting window, there’s all sorts of shrouds of uncertainty. First there’s surgery vs. non-surgery, which I’m guessing the latter involves rum and Jobu, but I’m no voodoo. Despite my limited knowledge on Jones fractures, I am hoping he opts for the surgery. If he doesn’t get it, it seems like Durant is playing with fire. We saw the Thunder bring back Westbrook earlier than expected last year with his knee issues, then he suffered re-injury (of course, causation is merely speculative). Which leads to point number two – either way you look at it surgery vs. non-surgery, Jones fractures are all sorts of tricky. Lingering issues, re-injuring it, it’s all up in the air. My perspective is Durantula has been healthy for virtually his whole career, spanning 7 seasons. So I’m optimistic he can be a fast healer, and splitting the difference of 6-8 weeks to 7 weeks out. Given when news broke, that’s missing just over a month of the regular season.
In my re-ranks I published yesterday, I only moved KD down to 2 with Anthony Davis up to #1 (side note - found this article with NBA MVP odds, how can I hop in on this?! Brow 25/1?! I’ll throw $10 on him to win $250!). In H2H, if you’re a confident manager, you can stream and bear a .500 record for a month. Then you have KD for the playoffs! I think if you try to sell right now in a panic if you’ve already drafted, or let him fall too far in your draft, you’ll be kicking yourself in the postseason. All that said, in Roto, I’m probably letting him fall until at least the middle of the first round. Having by far the best per-game player for the fantasy playoffs weeks obviously doesn’t matter. Hopefully by early next week there’s a little more clarity on Durant, and I’ll have one final rankings revision next Wednesday. Here’s what else has gone down in fantasy hoops since the last wrap-up (which will be daily during the season!):Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the full 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Rankings now complete, let’s take a look at the double digit rounds. The debate over Scrub A or Scrub B. We don’t want no scrubs! Well, play in a shallower league then! People say you win your leagues in the later rounds. I don’t know who these people are, but they’re probably jaded after drafting Derrick Rose in the 2nd round last year. Where’s the violins?! What I would say, is if you hit on one guy in the late rounds with 30th or 40th overall value, you’re set. 75% of your last picks are probably going to be drops. So 75% of your late picks will be passes to Brandon LaFell. Wrong sport! Still bitter about how bad he was… Go Kelvin Benjamin! Aka my favorite Panther. Stay focused! Here’s my top 150 for the 2014-15 Fantasy Basketball Season (based on 9-cat H2H):Please, blog, may I have some more?
So one of my favorite Charlotte Hornets memories was Glen Rice winning the All-Star Game MVP in 1997. I was still a chitlin, but even then I knew the Hornets were the epitome of small market (and moved just a few years later). Rice seemed like a fill-in bench player (even though he was pretty nasty in 96-97 with a by far career-high 26.8 a game), but went absolutely bonkers in the ASG second half, putting up 20 in the 3rd quarter. He was hotter than P.J. Hairston in a “yo mama” contest! I knew the Hornets had no title aspirations (ending up getting swept in the first round), but it made the whole season worth it.
And the Glen Rices of the world now have another, well smaller, trophy on their mantle with Glen Rice Jr. winning the Summer League MVP. Actually, I’m not sure if he gets a trophy… Maybe just a stack of $1,000 in Belagio chips… Either way, Rice put up a 6-game line of 25/7.8/2.3/2.5/0.5 boosted by a plain stupid 36/11/3/4/0 line with six treys last Saturday. “Pretend every game is the All-Star game film I always make you watch, son!” The Wizards boosted their wings (and headband usage) with Paul Pierce brought in, plus Otto Porter should see a lot of minutes off the bench. But behind Bradley Beal, Martell Webster just had herniated disc back surgery leaving a big early-season gap for backup SG minutes. Sure Garrett Temple might be able to fill-in, but off the hot Summer, I think Rice Jr. has got some minutes coming his way. Plus one of the biggest concerns for Beal is his injury risk, so a deep-league gamble on Glenny Jr. could be an interesting flier. Here’s what else has gone down with Summer League wrapping up and free agency moves:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all know the story. Cleveland fans burn things, then stage apology videos. Yeah, let’s put the ashes from last night’s barbecue and put it on top of my LeBron James Cavs jersey and pick it up. Sooooooooooo symbolic. Somebody is already halfway through the 30 for 30 special… But I got an advanced look at LeBron’s first press event with Cavs owner Dan Gilbert:
I love what Slim said in his reaction as a Heat fan. “LeBron’s legacy will now be that of a journeyman.” BURN! Poor choice of the all caps scathing word, JB! LeBron is still the alpha dog of the NBA, but he’s now numero tres in my ranking-os… Never was too good at Spanish. I’m moving Anthony Davis up to 2 and joining Slim’s bandwagon. Even though BronBron had talent around him in Miami, he never had a point guard. Which I mean more literally than not since Mario Chalmers‘ assists look more like Billy Dee Williams’ Dancing with the Stars‘ scores than an NBA PG’s! And now LeBron’s got family on his team! I don’t mean the city of Cleveland, but Uncle Drew! They should mish mash one of those videos with drunk uncle from SNL… Anyway, Kyrie Irving is going to have some balls in his hands (cough), so LeBron will be performing less hernia tests. Kyrie’s three-year arc has been declining FG% but steadily improving Ast/TO ratios and overall dimes. More efficient with the ball, but not hitting the shots. Maybe it’s because the Cavs had no other playmakers… Iso for Anderson Varejao! Dion Waiters just blocked me on Twitter. LeBron will be a huge ease on Kyrie’s defensive pressure, however stemming from that – if Kyrie is hot, he shootin’! Both will have great final numbers, but a little inconsistent game-to-game. LeBron should see his dimes go down a tick as well. Here’s a look at the rest of the free agency movement and some key notes from Summer League:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! You’ve seen a dime a dozen… And no I’m not talking about lady parts or buttcheeks on Game of Thrones…. But mock 2014 NBA Drafts! And since Game of Thrones is the hottest thing on TV, Slim and I decided to join the fray. Let’s pretend he’s built like Drogo, the facial hair is fa rizz folks, and I back-and-forth with him like whatever the hell that giant was north of the wall. But not like that! Wait, this just got way off track…
What we did differently is alternate picks to adjust our thoughts and expectations accordingly. Slim thinks Embiid to the Cavs, I think it’s Wiggins, many others think Parker… We then have to make new thoughts as we go, and track players falling to get them to their upcoming destinations. We both go into why we made that pick for the team, and a quick blurb on their fantasy impact on said destination should it come to fruition. Here’s how we see the 2014 NBA Draft’s First Round going down:Please, blog, may I have some more?
…And we’re here! Finally wrapping up a recap of the top 100 and how much I hated Andre Drummond coming into the year. It’s not my fault! He still can’t hit free throws! Aherm, cough, I think I’m going to miss today’s class with the flu.
So far, and I’m not just saying this for my ego, I think I did the Nation better than I expected. Sure there were swing-and-misses – I’m not Biff from Back to the Future Part II! But it’s been a great learning experience recapping my ranks, and our loyal, bearded Slim comes in with his grades. Rankings are based on my final updated top 200, comparing them to the FantasyPros aggregate Draft Day Rankings along with Basketball Monster’s Total Value for 9-cat leagues on the season. Slim then recaps JB’s best ranks in the 101-200 range and worst. Giannis Antetokounmpo for MVP! To keep it unbiased, Slim picked the best 4 and worst 4, so we’ll have to see who he goes with… Here’s a look back at the Top 100 for the 2013-14 Fantasy Basketball Season:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Razzball Nation! Man, scary to think there’s only a week left of the regular season. Where has all the time gone?! While the majority of leagues have wrapped up, we’ve still got some extended H2H finals and Roto players out there who need a pickup for The End of the Road. And why not Randy Foye after his 30/5/15/2/0 explosion last night? “Wait, don’t you hate Randy Foye JB?!” Shut it, commenter who remembers everything! I do hate Foye, but he’s going to get the volume with Ty Lawson out at least another few games with his bum ankle. Brian Shaw is saying Lawson probably will return this season, and coaches never lie or deceive us in the NBA, right?! Cough cough. With only two games on the slate tomorrow, the 63%-owned Foye (which, yes, is probably lower than it should be given the leagues that are over with aren’t making moves) needs to be scooped up in all leagues still rounding out their finals. Plus the Nugs schedule the rest of the way is @GS, UTA, @LAC, GS. He’s gonna heave up more threes than Jimmer Fredette at the BYU Alumni game! Here’s what else I’ve seen over the last couple of days of NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Finals are here (well for RCL and most standard H2H leagues)! And if you’re like me, and you didn’t have Kevin Durant or LeBron James on any of your teams and got knocked out, it’s baseball time! Shameless plug! Starting next Monday, you can check out my Pitcher Profiles if you’re about to hopscotch to baseball as well. To those of you still in your fantasy basketball playoffs, I HATE YOU! Haha just kidding. It was a whirlwind of sports going on over the weekend: rounding out my baseball drafts/opening night, whittling down to the Final Four in March Madness, Hank Dobson’s Mini-Mart and Country performing on the uneven parallel bars in the Independent Nations Games. A wild time. But what sparked my eye, or ruffled my gander, or something like that the hardest was D.J. Augustin going career-high on us with 33 Pts. Ended his night with a 33/1/3/1/0 line shooting 10-14 (3-4 3PTM 10-10 FT) in a %s dominatrix. My safe word is “gimme more assists!” A huge Sunday sendoff and a big bounce back from that Turd Ferguson earlier in the week against the Pacers. He’s a guy I bet a lot of scuffling teams dropped while streamboating in the playoffs and should be owned in your title run. Not to be confused with your “tittie run”, which might be the most enjoyable 5K anyone could come up with it. Here’s what else I saw over the busy weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wow. Last night was rocky. For a lot of people. Hopefully your playoff teams came out of the better end! Lots of guys with minor injuries were forced to sit, and within only minutes of each other Nikola Vucevic and Josh Smith got ejected in different games. Pretty much like the wild west out there! Next thing you know, I’m quoting Will Smith from that god forsaken movie… “Let me kindly stand up!” Probably the biggest benefactor in what will be dubbed “DNP-Day” was Aaron Brooks, who started for Ty Lawson who had “illness”. Wow, that sounds ominous. Brooks went all 2009 on us, and posted a redonk 27/6/17 line. Dude, if you played in a daily league or if you were streaming Brooks for the dimes, you just got a major sign from the fantasy gods. “You, my son, are blessed with stats that overfloweth!” Distribute some to us less fortunate ones! The Nugs play again on Friday, and it’s tough to say what Lawson’s status will be by then. Ricky Rubio went bonkers on the Mavs last night (more below), so if Brooks does get the start – cue the Pavlovian salivating. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops action (and if you get here early enough, be sure to sign up for the Razzball NCAA Bracket pool with a fun prize to the winner!):Please, blog, may I have some more?