Most fantasy writers, when they sit down, ultimately write about dragons. Most fantasy sports writers start their articles with the important news. What I tend to do is find the person I wrote the most about and lead with that. It’s just who I am!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Averaging 48% FG, 77% FT, 1.4 3PM, 8.3 pts, 3.5 rebs, 1.1 ast, .6 stl, and .7 blk this season, Brandon Rush has one of those underappreciated fantasy contributors from the mold of Shane Battier (not THIS year Shane Battier, but previous years).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mickael Pietrus went 16/7/2, as he got the starting nod at PF with O’Neal and Wilcox both out. It was one of those douchey bro-nods, too. Like the kind two frat guys might give one another in passing. I don’t really want to talk, but I DO want to acknowlede your existence, so I’m just going to tilt my head up quickly and then back down.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?Please, blog, may I have some more?
This year’s fourth overall pick, Tristan Thompson, has some growin’ to do. He’s going to need to learn to distribute the ball at least a little better. In five games, he’s amassed two dimes. Two dimes in 10 days. That’s less than my great grandfather made selling a day’s worth of newspapers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dwight Howard‘s 18th technical was upheld yesterday, which means he won’t have the pleasure of going 30/20 against the Bobcats on Sunday. (NOTE: Mostly because the Magic play the Bulls. I’m not a very smart man.) Honestly, as jovial as Howard is, you’d think he’d get away with more.Please, blog, may I have some more?
(Today’s post title is for all you connoisseurs of niche comedians from the ’80s.) Stephen Jackson is hobbled, but played anyway. If you have another option, go with it, because Jackson ran up and down the court last night like Pacino at the end of ‘Dick Tracy.’ (Deep cut!) The word out of Northc’alina is that if the Bobcats lost to the Pacers (effectively wiping away their playoff hopes), Stack Jacks would be shut down for the season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
San Antonio’s Tim Duncan left early in the first quarter with an ankle injury that Spurs TV announcer and Channing Frye look-alike, Sean Elliot declared would keep him out about two weeks. I don’t know where Elliot got his information, or why he imagines he’s developed the ability to accurately crush fantasy owners, but if there’s any truth to this, you’re going to need to do some damage control.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know Toney Douglas and his nine threes deserves to kickoff today’s daily notes, but sometime early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls-Nets game, today’s headline came to me and I jumped on it. I’m not sure you guys realize a) how few things sound like Douglas or b) how difficult it is to come up with terrible puns five days a week.Please, blog, may I have some more?