Pip-pip! Huzzah! Ha-cha-cha! And bully! It’s time to wake grandma up, ask her where she keeps the key to the liquor cabinet, threaten her with permanent relocation to a faraway retirement community if she doesn’t tell you where the key is, get the key, use the key, grab that $9 bottle of champagne and pop that sucker.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dwyane Wade was offered a reported $2 million a month to play in China (UPDATE! No he wasn’t). Marco Belinelli is likely off to Italy. Patty Mills and Ersan Ilyasova are off to Turkey. Jordan Farmar and Trevor Booker are off to the motherland, and compromise seems off the table as Billy Hunter made the panicky power-grabby statement that he believes the entire 2011-12 season will be canceled.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hear that all your favorite NBA players are playing basketball overseas next year. I hear that all your favorite teams and all my favorite teams are holding cheerleader tryouts for the next six months. I hear that the captains of our favorite teams are all moving to Turkey and China to start hoops camps for children, or whomever, really.Please, blog, may I have some more?
A week into the lockout and about a dozen players have already ditched the United Statesfor Europe. None bigger than Deron Williams, who agreed in principle to play with Besiktas in Turkey. As the same team also wooed Zaza Pachulia, it looks like we have a genuine European Dream Team on our hands.Please, blog, may I have some more?
One more night. I know I’ve got a long summer filled with postseason rankings ahead of me. Not to mention keepers, sleepers, rookies, lockout news, more lockout news, Ron Artest-is-bored-and-crazy news, Greg Oden-is-progressing-and-looking-forward-to-a-lockout-shortened season news, Hey-is-that-Luke-Ridnour?-Why-is-he-even-in-this-state-much-less-at-my-laundromat-news, preseason rankings, and the inevitable process of writing about fantasy basketball if there is no real basketball.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After averaging 11.1 ppg on .385 shooting from the floor in February and March, Jamal Crawford is averaging 18.3 ppg on .500 shooting from the floor so far in April. Owners must not remember anything past April Fool’s Day when they get to negotiatin’ new deals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rajon Rondo dropped a 22/5/14 line, with no steals, but also no turnovers last night. After the game Rondo and his tender pinkie told Rick Fox in the TNT studio to tell Kobe Bryant and his tender index finger to go suck a big one when they talk to him later.Please, blog, may I have some more?
John Wall threw a punch at Zydrunas Ilgauskas and was ejected in the middle of the second half. What the hell was he swinging at Big Z for anyway? Ilgauskas is big. Says so right in his nickname. And he feels no pain.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Farmar played, at least in the beginning. He ended with a sorta solid 12/4/7, with four threes line, but Avery Johnson’s egg timer went off and he realized he hadn’t gotten pissed at Jordan Farmar at all yet this season. Farmar played poor defense.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know Toney Douglas and his nine threes deserves to kickoff today’s daily notes, but sometime early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls-Nets game, today’s headline came to me and I jumped on it. I’m not sure you guys realize a) how few things sound like Douglas or b) how difficult it is to come up with terrible puns five days a week.Please, blog, may I have some more?