(Today’s post title is for all you connoisseurs of niche comedians from the ’80s.) Stephen Jackson is hobbled, but played anyway. If you have another option, go with it, because Jackson ran up and down the court last night like Pacino at the end of ‘Dick Tracy.’ (Deep cut!) The word out of Northc’alina is that if the Bobcats lost to the Pacers (effectively wiping away their playoff hopes), Stack Jacks would be shut down for the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

San Antonio’s Tim Duncan left early in the first quarter with an ankle injury that Spurs TV announcer and Channing Frye look-alike, Sean Elliot declared would keep him out about two weeks. I don’t know where Elliot got his information, or why he imagines he’s developed the ability to accurately crush fantasy owners, but if there’s any truth to this, you’re going to need to do some damage control.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Atlanta’s Al Horford was at shootaround sometime around 2 pm. Then he decended into the locker room, and came out for his game against the Sixers a last-second scratch. This can only mean one of three things, 1) Horford wanted a day off and Atlanta greatly underestimated Louis Williams’ desire to shoot every ball that is passed to him, 2) Horford tweaked something in or around his body, or c) Al Horford is in love with Darius Songaila.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ain’t no telling when Brandon Roy will return this season, but the Blazers announced it won’t be anytime soon. My guess is, if the franchise doesn’t shut him down for good, they’re only not doing so in case they need him to make a Willis Reed-like return at some desperate time late in the season, long after owners dropped him from their rosters.

Please, blog, may I have some more?