Boston, Dallas, Memphis and the Lakers share one win amongst themselves and 10 losses. So understand me when I tell you that everything – absolutely everything – written here is a complete guess. So it goes when you’re watching basketball as messy as this.
Please, blog, may I have some more?DeJuan Blair
(Today’s post title is for all you connoisseurs of niche comedians from the ’80s.) Stephen Jackson is hobbled, but played anyway. If you have another option, go with it, because Jackson ran up and down the court last night like Pacino at the end of ‘Dick Tracy.’ (Deep cut!) The word out of Northc’alina is that if the Bobcats lost to the Pacers (effectively wiping away their playoff hopes), Stack Jacks would be shut down for the season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?San Antonio’s Tim Duncan left early in the first quarter with an ankle injury that Spurs TV announcer and Channing Frye look-alike, Sean Elliot declared would keep him out about two weeks. I don’t know where Elliot got his information, or why he imagines he’s developed the ability to accurately crush fantasy owners, but if there’s any truth to this, you’re going to need to do some damage control.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Nets beat one of the best teams in the Western Conference last night on the strength of three bench players. So it makes perfect sense for me to choose this day to poo on him for being such a bad coach.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Atlanta’s Al Horford was at shootaround sometime around 2 pm. Then he decended into the locker room, and came out for his game against the Sixers a last-second scratch. This can only mean one of three things, 1) Horford wanted a day off and Atlanta greatly underestimated Louis Williams’ desire to shoot every ball that is passed to him, 2) Horford tweaked something in or around his body, or c) Al Horford is in love with Darius Songaila.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It always bugged me that in ‘Do-Re-Mi,’ the hyper-catchy song from The Sound of Music, the ‘La’ portion of the musical scales was just a note to follow ‘So.’ That’s some bullshizz. ‘Do’ is an animal, ‘Re’ is the sunlight, “Me” is you.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Word ’round the campfire is that the power forward everybody loves to hate dared to whisper about a H.A.S. (high ankle sprain) ion the last 24 hours. No, Rick Mahorn wasn’t whispering anything. Rick Mahorn doesn’t whisper. He screams quietly. Different generation’s hatable PF.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Okay, so it turns out hurling bricks is not as good for Mo Williams‘ hips and groin-ial area as Mo at first thought. He’s out for a while. Frankly, the vagueness of Mo’s injury parallels the vagueness of what part of this dude is even injured.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ain’t no telling when Brandon Roy will return this season, but the Blazers announced it won’t be anytime soon. My guess is, if the franchise doesn’t shut him down for good, they’re only not doing so in case they need him to make a Willis Reed-like return at some desperate time late in the season, long after owners dropped him from their rosters.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I discussed Thaddeus Young earlier today. It was awesome! You shoulda been there! You were? Well, then no wonder you don’t remember what I said. That’s how awesome it was. It erased your brain! I’ll make this blurb a little less awesome so you’ll remember it long enough to add Young to your team.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
