Well, Andrew Bynum is Mr. Glass too…  But the other way!  And he’s also Mr. Franchise Killer, as the Cavs had to suspend him just to get him to stay out of the stadium.  “Hey Andrew, leave the HurryCane at home today, we don’t wanna keep paying the stadium workers to put down the handicap ramps!”  Just saves money across the board.  Once Bynum gets waived, I think even Obama will be shaking his head at Bynum’s healthcare bills.  Anyway, the obvious benefactor to that whole mess is Anderson Varejao, who after his dominating 18/25 game last night has double-digit boards in 4 of the last 5.  Varejao was cleaning up the glass like he was the Unbreakable one!  The leading rebounder in the NBA last year before he got hurt (at a ridiculous 14.4 a game), Varejao should be a monster in 2014.  Although it does help when Nikola Vucevic is hurt and the starting center against you is Jason Maxiell.  Hell, I coulda had a double double against them last night!  And I don’t even have Jerry Curls!  Here’s what else I saw last night across the NBA:

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Man!  I was loving that game!  Through three contests (the inaugural one in the comments then when adopted into the piece), I didn’t get a single win!  For shame… At least now with Kobe Bryant missing 6 weeks, we’ll be brimming with excitement to relaunch the game!  I never ended up with Kobe anywhere, so I’m downplaying the real fantasy impact here… Kobe owners are asking should I hold or should I let go?  I think he is probably a hold in almost all leagues if you can, but man, these top-end injuries are killin’ out there!  Plus we have to remember it’s a fractured knee and a re-sewn up Achilles.  And he wasn’t setting the world on fire anyway.  Kobe is turning into Jeter from last year!  Bryant is a medical marvel though, he can jump over cars going 40 MPH and come back after bone spurs a game later.  So he’s worth the stash unless it’s a very shallow 10-teamer or smaller, or you’re just a triage of injuries.  Here’s what else went down last night across fantasy hoops:

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Things were looking oh so good for the Colonel’s original recipe heading into the season.  I bought the whole bucket, the two sides and a giant big gulp of tea.  But Larry Sanders could very well be one of fantasy’s biggest disappointments in 2013-14, for reasons on and off the court.

Sanders signed a 4-year deal in the offseason worth a cool $44 million bucks (worth, about, a million buckets of chicken!), and the Bucks regime had big plans for their center.  GM John Hammond, while trying to keep his Jurassic Park island under control, said Sanders was the key to the team.  Hammond, you lost your keys!  Bucks are locked out… Then the season started with Sanders nearly fouling out in 12 minutes, and in three games hasn’t played more than 22 minutes, hit 2 FGs, or grabbed more than 4 boards.  I was on the buy low bandwagon faster than a short sell in Trading Places.  But after complaining about playing time, Sanders reportedly got into a bar fight Saturday night and effed up his thumb.  Stop giving him roids, Braun, we don’t need more roid rage in Milwaukee!  I wonder if he was getting hazed by Ersan Ilyasova like Richie Incognito.  “You must play better, now!” yells Ersan in a thick Turkish accident.  Hey, Ilyasova was a scratch last night too, Gus Ayonin’!  Anyway, Sanders is accused of breaking champagne bottles over peoples’ heads, and to top if off he then missed Monday’s game because his wife went into labor.  Sorry Larry Sanders Jr… I’m just sorry… Hopefully this version of The Larry Sanders Show ends anti-climatically with Sanders getting back on the court and giving fantasy owners something.  If you’ve got him, you have to be holding and hoping Sanders can settle down and have this blow over, before he’s looking back at his life and he’s Robert Swift.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:

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Continuing on with updated rankings after the top 10 and top 20, below rounds out my to 50.  Previous rankings are in parentheses next to these updated ranks, with up and down designations only for guys hopping up or down significant spots.  Have fun grilling these!

(22) 21. Nicolas Batum – A lot of commenters have wondered why he’s not in the top-20, and as I said in my previous 20-50 rankings, the declining FG% (45.1% to 42.3%) and 3PT% (39.1% to 37.2%) from 2011-12 to 12-13 gives me pause.  Despite playing over 8 more minutes a game in 11-12 to 12-13, his scoring average only went up 0.4 Pts a game and he only averaged 12 a game after the All-Star Break with his wrist injury.  He’s said the wrist is completely healed, and despite not needing surgery I would be worried with Batum as my second-rounder as the wrist could plague him again.  He’ll still be a multi-cat workhorse, but I see no way he chucks up 6.1 3′s a night with new acquisitions Mo Williams and C.J. McCollum also manning the perimeter.  Yeah their PT may not overlap too consistently, but I just don’t see the three point output mimicking last year.

(23) 22. LaMarcus Aldridge – Another big fantasy asset I’m slightly down on, the Blazers could very easily have another rough first half and look to trade their franchise big.  The rumors have been swirling for quite some time, and there’s virtually no destination where I think he would be a better fantasy player than in Portland.

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The period of free agency continues to shape the fantasy basketball-scape with fresh meat on terrible teams and players signing with contenders to be relegated to bench duty.  With baseball in full swing and the NFL getting half of the ESPN air time no matter what time of year it is, a lot of NBA moves have been made under the radar.  Look for every division to get a team-by-team breakdown and some early fantasy thoughts on the new faces in new places:

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As we continue to navigate through the NBA Playoffs, it’s been a fun challenge to rank for the 2013-2014 season.  There’s still free agency.  There’s still a draft.  Hey, at least we know there will be a season unlike 2011!

If you missed it, my top 10 then top 20 came out last week.  Hey, it’s early, you might say “way too early” (see what I did there, it’s in the title!) so these rankings are subject to change.  And I want no accusations of flip-flopping!  It’s not my fault if all the sudden Dwight Howard goes to the Bobcats and becomes a first-rounder!  OK, so that is as likely as Rony Seikaly… returning.  You gotta stop on the word that rhymes Jean-Ralphio!  Man I’m liking that show.  Also, random side note, Googling Rony Seikaly to spell his name correctly broke Google.  I searched it and it would freeze, despite everything else working.  Weird.

As I battle my ADHD to get into the rankings, let’s just dive into it:

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As I mentioned earlier this week, there is still a ton of things to cover, let’s just dive right in:

It’s obviously a good ways down the road, but a lot of people are optimistic for a return for the opener next year for Rajon Rondo.  As we saw from Derrick Rose this past year, that has me horrified.  Rondo tore his ACL on January 25th and Rose on April 28th and we didn’t see the latter now for a full year.  Even if Rondo can beat the timetable Rose has had by a two months (returning in only 10 months), that will still have him returning in late November, missing a month of the season.  Rose and Rondo both rely on slashing and agility for their games, and while the clear caveat that their injuries and bodies are different, I’m probably avoiding a 3rd or 4th round pick on Rondo.

Sticking with the Celtics, Jeff Green had some mammoth games while Kevin Garnett missed some time with injuries.  While he won himself a starting gig, we saw some inconsistency when Green was in there with both Paul Pierce and Garnett.  If Garnett returns, I won’t buy into Green’s price tag (even though there will be a built in amount of time with no Garnett with definite injuries), but if Garnett retires or for some reason isn’t in Boston green, I’ll probably be a big Jeff Green buyer.

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I had the unfortunate pleasure (displeasure?) of watching the Knicks get pa-rumped by the Warriors last night 92 to 63.  It was disturbing, almost laughably so.  Kinda like The Wicker Man.  Not the bees!  If only the Warriors were women in bear suits.  Sheesh get Stevie Nicks out there.  With her current body type, she could probably box out Kurt Thomas.  Fun fact: they’re both 64 years old as well.  Carmelo Anthony returned from three games off with a sore knee to go 14 and 10 but 4-15.  Maybe the knee needs more ice.  J.R. Smith got ejected for a flagrant and went 3-11 for 9 points in his 21 minutes, so it’s not like his departure was a main factor of suckage.  Kenyon Martin had a rough layup rip-check, Tyson Chandler couldn’t fend off David Lee for second chance points, and the Knicks shot 24.7% and 5-27 from 3 as a team.  The Clippers are lob city, the Knicks last night were brick city.  The Knicks will look to rebound Wednesday night against Carmelo’s former Nuggets, so I could see a nice bounce back from your NY fantasy options.  But lawdy.  Was a pretty nauseating performance from one of the NBA’s “better” teams.

Here’s what else happened last night in the fantasy basketball-o-sphere:

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With six minutes left in the fourth last night, David Lee gave Roy Hibbert a little sucker shove that spawned a fracas that would have made Ron Artest (excuse me Metta World Peace) proud.  Tangent – how can athletes just change their names like that?  Getting pretty ridiculous.  They should just change their names a few times a year and get a percentage of jersey sales.  Imagine Chris Andersen changing his name to “Birdman” at the beginning of the season, then changing it again halfway through the season to, “You best stay away Chris Hansen“.  But I digress.  After Lee and Hibbert got separated, Stephen Curry tried to body up on ol’ RoyRoy and it didn’t go so well.  Even down 11, Curry had torn up the Pacers for 33 at that point, keeping what would have otherwise been a blowout a watchable game.  What ended up being one of the best MMA moments of the NBA season didn’t factor into the game much, as the Pacers still ran away with it after Hibbert’s ejection.  Luckily Curry was able to finish the game with an incredible line of 38 Pts 7 3PM 2 Rebs 4 Asts 3 Stls 1 Blk 4 Broken Cheek Bones and 0 Ankle Injuries.  Just kidding about the cheek bones.  I made every Curry owner gasp there for a second.  Let’s take a look at the other performances last night in the NBA:

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