I hear that all your favorite NBA players are playing basketball overseas next year. I hear that all your favorite teams and all my favorite teams are holding cheerleader tryouts for the next six months. I hear that the captains of our favorite teams are all moving to Turkey and China to start hoops camps for children, or whomever, really.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(Today’s post title is for all you connoisseurs of niche comedians from the ’80s.) Stephen Jackson is hobbled, but played anyway. If you have another option, go with it, because Jackson ran up and down the court last night like Pacino at the end of ‘Dick Tracy.’ (Deep cut!) The word out of Northc’alina is that if the Bobcats lost to the Pacers (effectively wiping away their playoff hopes), Stack Jacks would be shut down for the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For 23 years, Utah head coach Jerry Sloan won 60 percent of his games (1,221 of ‘em in the regular season), made it to the Finals twice, got knocked out in one of the first two rounds 18 other times, confused dozens of players with his occasionally incoherent, but nevertheless longwinded mumblings, and stunted the capital growth of NBA tie salesmen for almost three decades.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The glass-half-full part of you wants to enjoy DeMarcus Cousins‘ 13 boards from last night, while the glass-half-full you can’t help but acknowledge that he missed all but three of his 13 shot attempts. The glass-half-full you revels in the fact that he’s averaging 25 minutes per game as a rookie, while the glass-half-empty (GHE, pronounced “g’eh”) part of you can’t ignore Tuesday’s four turnovers or the .424 season FG%.

Please, blog, may I have some more?