We’re in week 13, people. Where does the time go? Seems like a mere 3 months ago that the season started. Ahh, memories… Say, do you guys like going to see the ponies? Not my-little-pony, brah, I’m talking the track, where they race the horses. For money. You get to see dirty, desperate people throw their last few shekels on an equine dream, which mostly ends sadly, but sometimes, just sometimes, you get to see a moment of pure excitement, approaching ecstasy, when a long-shot filly comes in, and someone wins big. It’s glorious to see a seemingly sad little man so happy for once. I want you to be that sad little man, gentle reader, it too would be glorious. So lets take a stroll down to the stables, and take a look at the stallions, and see whom we should hitch our cart to, and who’s destined for the glue factory, shall we?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Awwwwww, yeah! Yeah J-Val. Gimme a little peek. Gimme a little glimmer of hope!
Oh man, was it a tale of two halves for the Raptors last night! They were lobbin’ shizz all over the place like they were the Globetrotters against the… Who do they play again? That they always beat? Oh yeah, the Knicks, like they were the Globetrotters against the Knicks. Kyle Lowry had 9 dimes in the first quarter and Jonas Valanciunas put up 14 points on 7-8 shooting. Drummo playing uggo! Kinda a “but his D” lately… The Luminescent Lithuanian ended up going 14-15 for 31/12/0/0/1. The FT% is nice (3-4 last night and right at 80% on the year), but his combined – yes COMBINED – Ast/Stl/Blk this year are under 2. Sigh. I thought he could turn into something so much more special! There are some long-term nice things – per-36s he’s cut down a few TO, scoring more, fouls are down – but Casey is playing him lower minutes than last year (and wouldn’t consistently feed him after that hot start) and I don’t know if he’s ever going to be more than a slightly taller Zach Randolph. And with that, J-Val is all insulted, buttoning up his clothes, and not giving me that flash of hope. Dammit, I’m my own cockblocker! Me n Valaciunas are gonna be awkward for a while until safely in the friendzone. Here’s what else went down on a light night of Monday action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday afternoon was a frenzy! A frenzy because no Mozzy! About as crazy as I was last Saturday about Fozzy! Go Panthers!
Our prayers have been answered with Timofey Mozgov getting shipped out to Cleveland for two first round picks. Two first-rounders?! For Healthcare.Mozgov?! Well, they’re like controlled picks from Memphis in some sort of hooblah where all that matters is they’re not going to be very high. Not as high as say, Afroman! Or 16th! That’s where Jusuf Nurkic went in the first round this Summer, originally picked by the Bulls then traded. Good thing for Nurkic! It originally seemed really muddied there in Denver at C, but JaVale McGee just can’t get healthy, and Mozgov couldn’t go 3 minutes before getting multiple fouls. So out ya go TinaFey, and huge role ahead for Nurkic! At least 35 minutes every night given how good he’s been! Andddddddd, only 22 minutes for 8/4/3/1/2 last night. Still respectable numbers though! Given one of his made FGs was this. To quote my favorite sound from 90s gaming, “Oopsie!” Or whatever he really says… Anyway, J.J. Hickson is still there to give us a headache, as he went 11/10/1/2/1 in 30 solid minutes. Yikes. I still love me some Nurkic, and to the patient man goes the spoils! Something like that… Kinda lost in all of this yesterday was Hickson’s deep league value shooting up. He’s not a terrible player for some Pts/Reb relief in a very poor man’s Zach Randolph kinda way now that minutes should be coming. While many owners are mad they didn’t scoop Nurkic up quick enough, shoot out some buy lows with who you would’ve dropped, and maybe last night’s dud is enough to sneak Jamba Jus into your Mini-mall. That sounds so wrong… Here’s what else went down on a busy night of NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Happy 2015 Razzball Nation!
I for one am elated the Holidays have wrapped up (big thanks again to Slim for his recap at the end of last week!), and ready to buckle down for the second half of the fantasy regular season in H2H. My new year’s resolutions have been made – use Twitter more, swear a little less, work out a lot more… But this gosh darn knee! Eh, I’m pretty flippin’ flabby anyway… Fiddlesticks! Might as well shut it down…
And the talk for Carmelo Anthony‘s shutdown continually grow like a wave across the second level at Madison Square Garden. Not like they have anything else to do… Next new year’s resolution – less dot dot dots! The 5-31 Knickerbockers (I’m calling them The Poppycockers the rest of the way) have been worse than even Spike Lee could have imagined after reading reviews of his Oldboy remake. “Brooooooo – Liiiinnnnn!” Some dude named Bondy (shakeny, not stirredy) from The New York Daily News reported Melo’s knee will need a minor surgery, so it’s not like Melo is just playing through general oldboy-ness. He’s missed the last few after being awful for two straight to end December, so trading him off in fantasy leagues is redonk tough. Last we checked in (mostly through comments), I’ve maintained I’m not giving him away, but it’s fairly close. He’s about at the “leave on the curb” status rather than “driving him all the way to the dumpster.” My best advice would be to find a need for your team, and go for a guy that hits that need without a huge overall rank – i.e. Trevor Ariza for some steals and treys. Might not get Ariza these days, but yeah, something like that. And I still think you gotta try and hold out until Melo plays a few in a row – he’s traveling with the team for the next two games so he’s likely to suit up at least once. Here’s what else went on in fantasy basketball since we flipped the calendar:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s like that scene in Moneyball when Beane-y Baby is talking to David Justice and says something along the lines of, “You pissed off the other team so much, they’re paying 2/3 your salary!” Except the Pistons are going to pay 3/3 of Josh Smith‘s salary…
Geez, over the weekend plus a travel day, I feel like I missed two season’s worth of the NBA! Smoove gets waived, there’s trades… I think Andrew Wiggins is even contemplating retirement! In Detroit Rock City, Stan Van is tired of seeing Detroit Brick City. Shooting a career-low (even for Smoove!) 39.1% from the field (including 9-37 from deep for a Gargantuan 24.3 3PTM%), Stan Van is about as sick of labradoodles as Michael Vick. Too soon! I could go Larry Sanders there too, he is on my all-hate team… Wow, this got too serious. Josh Smith is terrible at basketball! Another year of 2.6 TO is doing no favors, but even in only 32 minutes a game (a low since 2005-06), he’s at a career-best 4.7 AST this year. Then again, another flip-side with a career worst 46.8 FT%. I’m rattling things off we already know, but mostly want to mention in H2H leagues, he’s still a useful player if your team is built the right way. And my pre-season rank was hoping he would come off the bench and boost the FG% and bad TO rate by playing against second units. Right now the Rockets are front-runners to pick him up (which also is a big indictment on Terrence Jones coming back any time soon), which should limit his labradoodles and keep him in line for defensive stats. I’m really hating what Stan Van is doing to DET for us fantasy-players – these shifts in minutes and rotations are infuriating – so I’m actually a little encouraged. We’ll see how it shakes out, but if you’ve been able to weather the Smoove storm of horrific efficiency, I’d keep holding. Here’s what else has gone on across the league since we last checked in:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After getting down as much as 23 points, I was going to pose the question – is Nicolas Batum the glue for the Blazers?
But then the Charlotte Hornets looked like the Kelly Tripucka Charlotte Hornets, hiked up their shorts, and got run out of Portland in the second half. This is Damian Lillard‘s show! 29/4/7/2/0 hitting 5 treys and 12 of 21 shots for The Omen.
With Batum out last night (and is hopeful to miss only two more and returning next Monday – he likes the weekly league fantasy players!), a lot of minutes opened up for Blazers SF. And of all the options, I don’t think anyone would’ve projected Allen Crabbe as the starter! Play Chris Kaman at the 3! I actually remember watching a few of Crabbe’s games at Cal when they were in the NCAA tourney and thought he was a good little player. But dude had 4 combined minutes on the season! And even the starting role did nothing for him, going 2/2/2/0/0 in 22 minutes shooting 1-4. Allen Crabby, want more rock! Crabbe has virtually no value, and Batum’s injury just means a few stats will trickle down through the Blazers starters and role players.
The under-the-radar winner is Steve Blake, who nearly rainbowed for 5/4/2/2/1. Season-high 25 minutes and he’s averaging over 3 dimes a game this year. Your line-up is probably filled out tomorrow and Saturday for the next two Blazers games, but hey, if you have one streaming spot open and need a little PG love, don’t be afraid to turn to grown-up Dewey for help. Here’s what else went down in fantasy hoops last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I gotta say, last night might have been one of the most exhilarating early season nights of NBA action that I can remember for some time. Career-highs, two buzzer beaters, a triple double, upset Ws… It was awesome.
Before we get into how the city of Cleveland can just give up hope… again… if you haven’t noticed on the main page of the site, Slim is in need of a new didgeridoo! When my awful Hornets somehow beat the Heat, he took his frustration out on his favorite instrument, banging the wood in fervent frustration. Wow, that sounded wrong! But Razzball Nation can help! Click on his donate button there to help him buy a new didgeridoo, for any value you wish, especially as a thanks for helping with the comments in the wee hours of the morning whilst I beauty sleep snuggled up with my Brandon Knight blow up doll.
But before that mental image is indefinitely burnt into your subconscious, let’s get back to action on the court where the big game was obviously the Jazz knocking off the Cavs on a Gordon Hayward buzzer beating fader. “Look Butler fans, I can hit big buzzer beater shots!” Awwwww, low blow… The Cavs had all sorts of terrible sluiced through their stats, like six, count em, SIX assists in the entire game. Four were from LeBron too. I guess the other Cavs want to prove to LeBron they all can be ball hogs. In contrast, the Spurs had six assists on their first six field goals in their win last night… But not like they’re a model franchise or anything!
As NBA fans, which all of us are even if we care more about fantasy than anything else, last night was a winner. I guess unless you’re a David Lee owner, or Cleveland fan… There’s always Green, or the Browns tonight! Colors to the rescue! Here’s what else went down in fantasy hoops action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You might as well set up a Civil War style triage on the Thunder bench, because somebody has the team set of Thunder voodoo dolls and isn’t wasting any time! Adding to this virtually unprecedented injury wave to hit an NBA team through only week one of the season, Perry Jones knocked knees for the second game in a row; this time in a ton of pain and had to exit. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so check out the Thunder depth chart on Rotoworld, where the red S means sidelined:
Oklahoma City Red S-es! And while a “knee contusion” usually wouldn’t worry me too much, George Hill had the same deal and he’s going to be out until late-November is sounds…
On the plus side, Serge Ibaka is absolutely en fuego out there. 25/11/2/0/1 and forced to take contested jumpers the whole night, but hit 11-14 including three treys. And played 46 minutes out of desperation! The blocks will come, so if you got Serge late round 1 (like we had him) or round 2, you’ve got something of your own surging in your pants.
On the negative side, Reggie Jackson is playing with some ill-advised reckless abandon. I mean, give the kid some props for playing through numerous injuries last night, but he ended up with his butt on the hardwood more often then Paris Hilton. Had a fantastic slash of 13/4/14 but hurt his wrist limiting him to 4-14 FG (0-6 3PTM). Plus the ankle still looks gimpy. I know the upside is immense the next month, but I might try to sell RJax high after watching this game. It was like watching Denard Robinson at Michigan. I’m not a huge college football fan, but my dad went there and I watch parts of most games, and Shoelace is still the most dynamic player I’ve ever seen in Maize & Blue. But he seemed to leave early almost every game, getting battered and beaten up.
The Thunder need to do everything and anything to get healthy, with three straight off days until Friday. My recommendations include – every player eating a live octopus chasing it with raw eggs, hiring the Wolverine (Jackman, not Denard) for some mutant healing blood, and calling Mrs. Cleo to figure out which guy will be hurt on Friday and benching him. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t know why JB would do this to me. Do you know what he told me? He told me I didn’t fit in. He told me my only chance of being accepted was for me to join some program he was calling, “Avatar”. I believe his exact words were, “Yeah we can change your avatar, what were you thinking?” Wait… this was my idea? Was it me who asked him to take my sexy, bearded, aboriginal face and join it with my real life sexy, bearded, non-aboriginal face? I can’t tell what is reality and what is a dream anymore. All I do know is that in this world of mixed mediums, my body, or as JB keeps calling it, my “Avatar”, is merely a shell for my one track mind. A mind dedicated only to fantasy basketball; unfortunately sometimes this mind can wonder. Wonder back to yesteryear when Patrick Beverley was a sleeper or when Alec Burks was supposed to start for the Jazz. In an attempt to relieve those nostalgic days, I present to you my beginning of the season All Under-Owned Team. My cutoff was 30% owned in Yahoo leagues and hopefully with season-long appeal.Please, blog, may I have some more?
What a night for the Brow!
On a near-unparalleled night for my bold call for MVP yesterday and Razzball’s #1 fantasy pick, I’ve gotta say, it feels like it’s going to be a great season! An unbelievable 26/17/2/3/9 in a near trip-dub with the blocks, and fitting he’d be 2014-15’s first rainbow line (at least 2 Pts/Reb/Ast/Stl/Blk). In H2H leagues, if you have Brow you better win blocks this week! Not only were those blocks more than enough, but Brow was a solid 10-22 from the field (6-9 FT), and didn’t commit a single TO. About all you could complain about is if you play in a triple-doubles league, he just needed one more swat! Just one!
Of the 25 experts on FantasyPros, only 5 had Brow #1 overall with yours truly one of the five, and Razzball’s Seth a second. Now, before you go unloading your top 5 picks for Brow in a desperate trade, don’t forget this was against the Magic who looked pretty horrific. Then again, Stephen Curry and LeBron James are going to have to do something outrageous to make the Brow non-believers feel better tomorrow…
Here’s what else went down across the league’s first three regular season games:Please, blog, may I have some more?