When Glen Davis went to the pre-season Magic weigh-in, the trainer was like, “355 Big Baby, really?” ”These hips don’t lie!” And in a very full slate of games last night, we had two pretty premiere big men have their hips not lie and go out on them. ”Help I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” The NBA to start issuing players life alerts to wear around their necks. DeMarcus Cousins was the first to succumb to the AARP ailment. Suffered a left hip flexor, but coach Mike Malone said it probably wasn’t serious. Destiny is like, “wait a ‘left’ hip? I thought, like, for people we had only one hip!” No child left behind fails us yet again. Good thing it’s the All-Star break for Boogie! An All-Star Boogie! Dude, that should totally be an event. Breakdance Horse! Hah. Then Derrick Favors went out and re-aggravated his right hip that had caused him to miss games here and there over the past month. This one is a lot less bueno. But hey, DeMarcus and Derrick have a pair of healthy hips! If only they were siamese twins – they’d get, like, 35 rebounds a game. Favors will likely get an MRI and be brought along very slowly since this is a re-aggravation. Enes Kanter to the rescue! Might get some solid run and deserves love in a lot of leagues. And don’t sleep on Rudy Gobert in deep leagues if you need some blockage. Speaking of blockage, look at some of the traffic photos of NC from yesterday. No one learned from Atlanta! And the best basketball game on the slate, UNC-Duke, cancelled. Travesty. Let’s get this global warming going again! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, the Feds are after you. Your Ponzi scheme and billions of dollars are up for seizure. Well, that, or your $20 league dues and your friends sending you obnoxious texts about how you’re not going to the playoffs. So if you’re in H2H and in this shortened week, what is a Madoff to do? How about putting in a quick grab of Chris Kaman, who has erected himself into surging fantasy relevance. Too far JB! A raging 25/14/4/1/3 line last night, taking a whopping team-high 24 shots. That’s now three straight games of at least 17 Pts, 8 Rebs, 3 Asts and 2 Blks. That’s the floor! While tonight’s slate is pretty jam-packed, Thursday is a light one. With the Lakers one of the few teams in action, Kaman could really make the difference this week for ya in Pts and Blks. While he does have a shelf life whence Pau Gasol returns, if Gasol is indeed traded I think Kaman has played well enough to stick. Of course you never know with Doh-toni, but Robert Sacre isn’t exactly a guy to be developed for a long-term future and they don’t have any other true 5s. So don’t be afraid to stash some of your free cash in the Kaman islands. While he is owned in 43% of Yahoo leagues already (a bit shocking to me it had hopped up that fast), there’s plenty of IRS-free banks left to stash him up. Here’s what else I saw last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Breaking news! Kobe Bryant is injured. No one has been talking about this. And in a further Razzball exclusive – he’s old. Not exactly the best combo coming back from a major injury, followed by another pretty bad one just a few games back. After a re-examination, apparently the knee bone still isn’t connected to the leg bone, so let’s call the whole thing off! Will be examined yet again in three weeks, and that’s just another knee rub-rub. Who knows how much longer it will be after that. Good news is! Jodie Meeks is still gonna kill it, Kendall Marshall is still going to hand out dimebags like a Colorado bakery, and with the Lakers still atrocious, we can make a pretty educated guess that Kobe is going to be out A – until he is 100%, no questions asked, no way he could get hurt again healthy or B – the season. Leaning B. And even if A happens, it would be so late and in such limited minutes that I don’t think the value is worth it. Cut him in 10 or 12-teamers. Just do it. I know some people will keep holding him, if you’re in 1st or 2nd and fine for the playoffs and wanna stash, I can’t argue much with you, but I think the time is now to use that spot for others. Tough year for Lakers fans, but hey, you’re not the Bucks… Here’s what else went down across the NBA-o-sphere:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night was a doozy. Flummoxing. I actually had to look up flummoxing to be sure it worked. And it does! But there are numerous things that aren’t working for the Kings, mainly Rudy Gay‘s Achilles and DeMarcus Cousins‘ ankle. Gay actually wasn’t “Leon” down in pain like DeMarcus after DMC fully rolled his ankle, but neither sounds like any sort of fun. With Cousins, the diagnosis is a “moderate sprain” and I gotta say, a big near 300-pounder putting all his weight on an ankle the turns 90 degrees the wrong way doesn’t sound moderate. Moderate maybe in the sense that the dude in 127 hours only had to “moderately” scratch his arm to get free! I’d expect at least a few weeks. But, “I’m not a doctor, I’m a pool man!” Then there’s Gay’s Achilles which you could see in his face he was in bad pain and exited pretty quick, albeit under his own power. We all saw Kobe Bryant limp off under his own power with the torn Achilles, so this one is definitely a hold-your-breath injury. The obvious immediate add in most formats is Derrick Williams, who I kinda disregarded when he was acquired, but now is in a “you-better-be-able-to-score-a-lot-because-we’ll-need-it” starting role. Solid 22/11/1 with three treys last night in 40 minutes of duty. Just added him in one league for the ice cold Terrence Ross for example. Ross is like, “hey don’t blame me, it’s this effin’ weather!” Yes – I narrate my fantasy teams. Someday soon I hope to put on a finger puppet show. Here’s what else I saw last night in a wild evening of fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Bulls are a lot like the Tanner children. Whatever the hell the name of the youngest the Olsen Twins played is Derrick Rose – all sorts of famous but now all sorts of a mess. The middle one is Kirk Hinrich. Because as soon as he’s not on the Bulls anymore, he’s gonna become so irrelevant that even Tom Thibodeau will forget who he was the next season. Which leaves us with D.J. who is obviously – D.J. Augustin. I mean, Bob Saget should’ve just stopped at the first kid! Well I guess there’s still upside with the youngest one. This metaphor is tanking JB! I feel as if you readers are starting profanity-laced rants thus far. Just like Bob Saget’s stand-up “act”! Hey-oh! So Hinrich got hurt yet again last night, doing something to his hammy. It’s almost as if you can predict injuries! Part of my gravitation to D.J. was not only how well he was fitting with the team, but how brittle Captain Kirk is. I would make a Star Trek parallel, but it’s TNG or nothing, son! Besides, the TV show metaphors are a strong 0/1 this morning… Augustin is in line for huge run and in 37 minutes last night went 27/4/4 with 5 threes. I expect pretty high-teen scoring and 6-8 dimes a night with a couple of treys while Hinrich is out, then maintaining the starting role when Hinrich is back with minimal dropoff. More-or-less a must own in all leagues, and I’ve been Bull[hah!]ish on him all along. Hopefully you’ve scooped him up and held on to him. Here’s what else I saw in fantasy hoops on a busy day of MLK action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohhhh man, the mile run. Nothing establishes popularity in middle school more than the mile run. You have the athletes who can just jog but have to semi-try, the dorks who are OK at sports that do pretty well (me!), the cool kids that just walk, the unhealthy people who saunter, and then the coolest dudes who hide behind the scoreboard on the other side of the track as the teachers and smoke cigs. True story! But the real run to talk about this morning is C.J. Miles‘ run, who’s capped off three straight great games. Hit a ridiculous 10 treys last night, for a 34/5/2/2 line shooting 11-18 and 10-14 from deep. If only someone called it yesterday! And proof to the theory of ThrAGNOF. Got you 10 treys for just one spot start. Great night for Miles and shows us yet again that if you need to stream guys, play anyone facing the Sixers. As I mentioned yesterday, their D is league worst in points allowed by nearly 7 points more a game given up than the second-worst. It’s a fast-paced team with bad D no matter how you slice it. Unfortunately for Miles, the acquisition of Luol Deng is really going to hurt his minutes, making him a guy you’re probably not picking up in standard leagues or solid 12-teamers. Just won’t have the minutes or upside. But luckily he had one last game to show his range and should stay in the mix for deeper leaguers. Here’s what else I saw last night in a big slate of games:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As my good friends at Mr. Show previously theorized, 24 was thought to be the highest number. ”What about 30?!” And then NBA scorers were pulling exactly what happens in that skit. ”What about 31?” ”What about 32?” ”I gotta ask, what about 33!” Then Gilbert Arenas was like, “if people keep scoring like this, I’m gonna have to shoot em with Crittenton’s .45!” It wasn’t necessarily that many guys going off, just a few you wouldn’t have guessed. I’m trying to pick the most off the rails 30+ point night, so I think I’ll go with Alec Burks, who just looked awful in the two games before last night. 7-25 his past two outings, but goes 12-17 last night for career-highs in both points with 31 and dimes at 7. Added three boards and four steals with two treys for good measure. Burks has always looked like a good athlete out there, but never like a guy who could take over like that. I think a good debate is Burks or Terrence Ross. I’ll lean Ross, but very close, I just think Burks is too inconsistent. Here’s what else went down last night in hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s the time of crazed shopping for discounted electronics. The argument: “At that price, I couldn’t afford NOT to get it!” will be heard all around the country over Turkey leftovers this weekend. I give to you the Buy/Sell shortened holiday edition, free packaging, 70% off, this weekend only! And with that in mind, here are a few guys you can’t afford not to get:
Jordan Farmar PG
You got up late, you’re one of the last to the mall, cursing the excessive turkey and alcohol consumption, and you’re scrambling for points, treys, steals and the odd assist. Well, the basketball gods are smiling on you, because although he’s one of the last in the sales bin, Jordan Farmar is still there for you. In the last 2 games, he has hit 8 3pts, with almost 5 dimes per game. He’s only owned 9% of leagues. It’s not a perfect choice, but that’s what you get when you sleep in, mutton-head!Please, blog, may I have some more?
My lead yesterday was about a weekend of injuries, and as much as I wanted to stay away from injuries in today’s open, there’s just way too many. Like that pilot in the Return of the Jedi when they attack the new Death Star. ”There’s too many of them!” Sorry in advance Jake VZ – but I think the lead is Bradley Beal reportedly aggravating his leg injury and at the time of this post in the wee hours of the morning, the Wizards fear a prolonged absence. Beal hurt the same leg with a broken fibula last year that ended his season prematurely. In both my longer blurb in my top 100 and in my top 200 I tried to say I was worried, and only ended up with him on my autodrafted team. By now, news has hit his little news icon on Yahoo and ESPN, so it’s going to be a little tough to sell at full price or even a slight discount if you’re hitting the panic button. I’m worried myself. I’m running in with Jodie Foster and a weird, gothy, tween Kristen Stewart into my Panic Room. More precise news should come out today, but if for some reason you were about to cut Martell Webster, hold the phone and keep my boy. I have been told I have too many “boys”. But I like Webster a lot! And called him a must add a few weeks back. Trevor Ariza is also back and starting tonight, and the mere fact they’re not easing him in off the bench has me thinking his hammy must be doing pretty well. Both Ariza and Webster are looking at big minutes for a stretch, and John Wall will continue to have this big offensive upside he’s shown in the past two games. Here’s what else went down in the wide world of fantasy hoops last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
All hail Trey Burke! May all the inhabitants of the great Salt Lake City and all their respective wives rejoice! And… the Jazz are still atrocious. Poor Tyrone Corbin. He’s got to fiddle with Burke, Alec Burks, John Lucas III and now Diante Garrett at the point. Jerry Sloan got John Stockton. Then Deron Williams. It just ain’t fair! In yet another Jazz loss moving them down to 1-12, Burke got 12 minutes even, going 11/1/1 with a steal and hitting a trey shooting 5-8. Trey with the trey! If only Deuce McAllister was an NBA player. Deuce with the deuce! Or if McAllister was a dunker, “Deuce with the upper decker!” I had the unfortunate pleasure of doing highlights for my second Jazz game now, but it was cool to see Burke’s debut and I thought he looked pretty good. His first NBA points were off a long rebound then coast-to-coast for a controlled, attacking floater. Obviously he’s getting eased in and he’ll get more minutes – hippity-skippity to a few months back and I was bigger on Burke than anyone – but I’m not ready to go nuts and drop quality guys for him. Of course it’s a case-by-case scenario, but I really wanted Burke to get tons of preseason work; instead he broke his finger and missed some really crucial development time. For example, I think I’m still holding Patrick Beverley over him. PBev is the Razzball “why can’t I quit you?!” fantasy asset. Lucas III is obviously not a long-term solution, and while he’s in the mix, he didn’t look good last night but was the only guy that could hit any long balls. Alec Burks looked awful, sure his line 8/1/1/1/2 is fine, shot 3-6 – fine – but racked up 4 TOs in 16 minutes. Just looked bad. Which brings me to Diante G, who I thought looked really good. Garrett actually led the Jazz in PG minutes with 20, and racked up a 4/1/6 line with three steals and only 2 TOs (one late one was pretty bad, but the game was over) and played down the stretch. Garrett was the only point who could create opportunities. So it’s a little crowded with Burks’ potential wilting away and Garrett looking decent as a D-League gamble and could get run through the season. I think Lucas III gets cut at some point and Burks plays strictly backup 2 minutes, but that’s just me. It’s a mess. Shocker, considering it’s the Jazz! Here’s what else I saw last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?