As we’ve talked about in some of our intimate, 1-on-1 comments, Razzball Basketball is here to be your fantasy basketball therapist.  We coddle you through the bad breaks, get you through some SKIIIIIIIILES! frustration, help you be able to cut ties with injured players…  We’re a giant, comfy couch, and we want you to be comfortable and tell us why the fantasy gods hate you!

Well, in the same vein, you know I like to whine sometimes.  REL posts are great for that for my REL team, I sometimes get Kristaps Porzingis in 4 of 5 matchups in a hot week, etc. etc.  And I even pull in some real life whining, like today!  So, not for the first time, or the second time, but for the THIRD MF TIME in the past month, the Razzball Basketball studio’s internet got ripped from the house because a dumbass in an 18-wheeler-size Estes truck decided it was smart to drive it down our tiny side street.  That AND our good friends at Time Warner Cable assured us that the second time this happened, that it would be high enough to avoid large trucks.  The level of incompetency is unparalleled…  Well, I take that back, it’s about as competent as Mike Malone running his Denver rotations.  We talked about this in the comments that maybe he needs to become MALLLLLLLLLONNNNNNEEE!  …or something to that effect.  Just like ripping out a millennial’s life blood by taking out my internet, Malone has a team ritual every night, where he snatches up a fantasy basketball player and ties him up in the Denver locker room, and right before every game chants “KALI MA!  KALI MA!” and rips the poor guy’s beating heart out.  Depending on how many beats it has left is how long he plays Jusuf Nurkic.  Dude was playing fine last night!  11/3/1 in 17 minutes, with an efficient 4-6 FG and 3-4 FT – did have the 2 TO – but doesn’t play the final 22 minutes.  Even the poor Kenneth Faried owners got wrapped up in this mess, as Manimal played the opening 4 minutes, then didn’t play the rest of the first half, and got only 11 minutes total.  So you’re thinking big Nikola Jokic game right?!  21 minutes…  Joke was solid though, going 14/11/3/0/1 on 5-7 FG and 4-4 FT.  This is such a Temple of Doom, that even though it’s pretty common knowledge you should’ve been getting out ASAP, now it’s time to get out ASAP-er!  Drop Nurk, trade Joke off this game, I’m probably even dropping Faried.  Maybe in 12ers or limited-move RCLs you can give it one more game, but this was a good matchup against the Mess (even though Brook Lopez is playing on the perimeter now, maybe that screwed some stuff up), and if Malone has Faried in his doghouse, watch him start Darrell Arthur or some junk next Denver game.  Frustrating night!  Since I’m rushing through the notes at a Starbucks, this is going to be a lighter Daily Notes, so apologies for the brevity!  But I’ll be around for comments as always, so if something big happened I missed/you want to talk about, shoot your thoughts below!  Here’s what else happened last night in Fantasy Basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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(Photo: The Ringer)

I remember last summer hearing Zach Lowe of ESPN talk about Dion Waiters like he was the missing ingredient in making a delectable dish, like the blueberries needed in blueberry cobbler. Ok, not the blueberry, but making the baking powder? ‘Waiters Island’ was the term, and he was fully on board.

I thought he was crazy. And I love what Zach Lowe does.

Fast forward to the 2016-2017 season and Waiters was essentially an afterthought as he joined his new team in South Beach. I won’t say that he took his talents there, like the rest of the world has at some point, but let’s not forget that this guy was the 4th overall pick in the NBA Draft; dude can hoop. His ‘hero ball’ mentality and lack of interest in playing defense, you know, half of the entire game, makes him hard to watch sometimes, and is a large reason why he’s now on his third team in six years. That’s a rare feat for a #4 pick that’s averaging 12.9/2.6/2.5 for his career. We’re not talking Chris Paul here, but we’re also not talking Marcus Fizer. Yet he seems to be settling in nicely for the Miami Rileys.

And now he gets four games this week…but let’s be clear, with the way he’s playing he deserves more than just a streamer nod. This dude should be owned at a much higher rate than 34%. GO GET HIM!

Here are the 7 Ahead for Week 6!

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In a matchup where they might’ve gone ahead and whipped em out to see who was bigger, this round went to Joel Embiid! The Sixers snapped the longest stretch of NBA games without back-to-back wins (108), by besting Hassan Whiteside and the Heat 101-94.

Look at Embiid flex those guns. So much man meat in the paint right there! Ok, I’m done with that, but it was awesome to see such prototypical, turn-back-the-clock big men face off against each other, with each being the current face of their respective franchise. Embiid had one of his best lines of the year, going 22/5/0/1/3 on 7-13 shooting, mainly highlighted by only one TO. He’s only had one game with 2 TO, and all the others 3+. On the flip side, Whiteside was a monster, going 32/13/0/0/2 on 13-19 shooting and hit 6 of his 8 FT. For the love of big man stats! Whiteside was 0-3 from the stripe in his previous game, so hopefully something has righted the ship there. Someone in the comments asked where Embiid might go in drafts next year, and I said 30-40 range. But at this rate, that might be too conservative! Let’s see him get through a full season first, and be sure none of that giant EMBIIIIIID gets hurt. I lied, I got one more in! Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ahhhhh, our epic Jusuf Nurkic vs. Nikola Jock Itch debates. 16-17 might become remembered as the year of the Nuggets big men Civil War. I wanna be on Iron Man’s side!

In a gutsy battle with the Craptors, the Nugs almost pulled out a great road win, putting together a huge 3rd quarter and getting a lead for most of the 4th. We the North still ended up notching the W, and so did Slim and the Nurk > Joke contingent! I still feel like I have to remind everyone that I ranked Nurk ahead of all experts, and was middle-of-the-pack-to-slightly-below-consensus on Jokic. But alas, I did think Slim was a little crazy saying he wanted Nurk over Joke outright, and after last night, it’s looking like it’s going to be a coin flip any given outing. The real head-scratcher is Nurkic lead the team with a preposterous 38 minutes. Lunacy! Ended up going 13/18/1/1/5 in a great line, but did struggle with the %s, shooting 5-14 FG and 3-7 FT. He’s just so big out there… Look at poor Pit-Pat trying to block him, what are you doing Pit-Pat?!

I think this matchup made sense, as Nurk is a good fit to D up The Luminescent Lithuanian, and with his size and D presence, can help out on the Lowry and DeRozan iso drives. Erstwhile, I thought Nikola Jokic looked pretty good, but only played 22 minutes, going 12/4/1/0/0. Shot 6-9, but 4 TO?! The Nugs only had 8 TO as a whole, so friggin’ Jock Itch had half their giveaways, plus had 4 fouls in that limited run. Just wasn’t his night.

So what to do with these guys? I think you gotta just deploy them as usual, and hope the coin flips your way any given game. As long as it doesn’t pull a Watchmen and land standing up. I think that was Watchmen, I know it was in the dumb movie Ed too, about Joey from Friends teaching a monkey to pitch. Hahahaha, how terrible. I just had to link the trailer, because I watched it for 30 seconds to be sure I was citing the right movie, and holy crap. This is the most fantastic 2 minutes of my life:

If that doesn’t make you laugh, nothing will! I’m all over the place this morning… To wrap that metaphor, I guess Kenneth Faried would be if the coin landed straight up, and at least he only saw 15 minutes. I wouldn’t be shocked at all if Nurk gets 22 minutes next time out, Jock Itch 35, and Jock Itch has the big game. Going to be frustrating game to game. But for last night, Slim gets to gloat! Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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In what became a weekly manifesto for fantasy basketball, our cap’n, my cap’n, JB Gilpin, decided to hand over the reins to his precious afterthoughts from last season. No, literally. This series was the actual afterthoughts to his daily thoughts that happened every weekend. Well, JB…after thought no more, because this is all I got!

When JB asked me to take over the 7 Ahead, I was most likely still drunk on the booze of an incredible 2015-2016 NBA Regular Season and Playoffs, not thinking about what it actually meant. The more my withdrawals kicked in and I couldn’t wait for the start of the new season to finally effing get here, though, the more I realized how great this article is. If you’ve read me on the football or baseball sides of all things Razz, you may have read my definition of wisdom before. If so, you’re welcome…here it is again: Wisdom is looking to the past to know what’s going to happen in the future before it happens. It’s telling the future. It’s planning on what could happen. It’s everything that is the essence of the 7 Ahead.

Each weekend we’ll be looking forward towards the fantasy basketball horizon of the next seven days. For those of you in weekly leagues, this series may be especially helpful, as I’ll highlight the teams with the most beneficial schedule for your matchups, and which particular players from hose teams may be available for your streaming pleasures. Also, we’ll discuss the game slate for each day over the next seven days, and you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be asking some questions and want your responses. This is a dialogue, kids. No monologues here. Those stayed in the past with JB’s novellas that he called this series. And by the way, what in the balls is a ‘bottom dollar’? Does Dame Dolla own a lot of those? Anywho…here’s the first installment of the 2016-2017 7 Ahead.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So if you haven’t listened to this morning’s Podcast yet, you wanna know what’s fun when you run the world’s awesomest Fantasy Basketball blog?! Coming home to no internet! And your ISP having no way to fix it until the next day! It just makes you think about how we in the fantasy basketball world rely on the internet, when so much of the world is still without it… I’m over here stressing like a madman wanting to be sure Razzball Hoops can still deliver our silliness, when the world at large still has a long way to go. Even though it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, I want to tell my family at the Razzball Nation table that I’m just thankful to be here, and thankful for everyone reading! …and thankful I can get to work a few hours early to bang out today’s recap… Without the internet, I wouldn’t have a job with a software company, Razzball wouldn’t exist, I’d be working at some factory or some ish, fantasy basketball would likely not exist…. Imagine calculating fantasy hoops by hand! Ahhhhh! Awful! I’m very fortunate to merely exist at this point in time and space. And to wrap up this sappy open, I want to say I’m the bigger man and certainly wouldn’t ousT What Cable provider I use… Crooks.

Anyway, so with limited hoops watching last night due to an inconsistent 4G stream, I didn’t get to watch the Celtics game and two of my REL rocks, but had a little better service to watch most of the first half of the Spurs/Sac game. First off, have you seen the new Kings arena?! The Golden 1 Center doesn’t look real! It looks like where they’d play football in Starship Troopers, ya know, with that silver football? Wasn’t there talk that this team could move a few years ago? Geez! Well for as bad as the Kings manage their personnel, they certainly can hire some Star Trek architects, that’s for damn sure. But for as cool as the new arena looks, Kawhi Leonard looks better. Sleeker. Sexier… “You are ruining moving day for us!” 30/3/5/5/0 last night, giving him back-to-back 30 Pts/5 Stl games for the first time in NBA history. Ok, don’t fact check that, I’m sure it’s happened before… [edit – Rotoworld must be reading us, because about an hour after this posted, they put out this latest news blurb on Kawhi this morning…]

I feel like he’s one of the birds from Finding Nemo. “Mine! Mine mine! Mine!” But what an absolute superstar, and maybe he belonged right next to KAT a tier below the big-4 in my ranks. Maybe even within the big 4! 7-7 FT last night, giving him a 22-22 clip to begin the season. He only committed 1 TO last night too! If you watched any of this game, the Kings actually started pretty hot, and the other starting 4 Spurs looked horrific. It was all Kawhi to open the scoring, putting in San Antonio’s first 9 points. It was Kawhi 9 to Sacramento 16 halfway through the first… With the rest of the Spurs struggling a bit out of the gate, Kawhi put his team on his back, and absolutely looks like he’s in the MVP discussion. Makes you pretty happy for having a later-round pick in standard snake drafts! Here’s what else went down last night in Fantasy Hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

1617-rcl-logoThe epic battle between good and evil has begun! The 3rd annual JB vs. Slim RCL drafted last night, pitting the heroic forces of yours truly against the nefarious hordes of that villainous Slim. Last year, I got the upper hand by knocking Slim out of the semi-finals, but still fell short of winning the league title. Stupid Mr. Green Beans! Ruining it for everyone…

If you’re still jittery with excitement for the NBA season, there’s still time to make a last second RCL League! If we can get a couple more created, I’ll be sure to heavily promote them through the end of this week and the weekend to be sure you have a full league. Hit up our 2016-17 RCL Sign-Ups!

With the epic responsibility to maintain goodness and order in the universe by besting Slim, here’s how my draft went down:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We did it! YES WE CAN!! Make rankings great again! Oh man, I’m ready for election season to be over… But I’m even more ready to have my top 200 out into the world!

So I don’t really have a sound philosophy for these final ranks… We do all of our rankings for 12-team, 9-cat H2H, since that’s how we play our Razzball Commenter Leagues. Shameless promo time! We need more RCL Players out there in Razzball Nation! Just follow that link and either start up or join an open league today! Anywho, in a 12-team RCL league (13 roster spots), you’re only drafting 156 players, so most of these ranks are guys you’re not drafting. Do I rank guys all as sleepers for your final pick? I’m not sure that really helps anyone. So the final ranks here are a blend of sleeper potential, and possible last-roster-spot-usability for a specific build. Is Arron Afflalo REALLY going to be your last pick? Meh, probably not, but maybe he has a hot month and it could be the first month! You never know… If you’re still catching up, check out all our ranks in the Top-10, Top-25, Top-50, Top-75, Top-100 & Top 150 which you can also find linked above in the 2016-17 Ranks menu. Here’s our final big rankings post, the Top 200 for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re officially at a crossroads! We push all the way to the triple-digits and protrude into the late rounds. That’s a weird word, protrude. Sounds like a scene title from the Anchorman DVD when Will Ferrell complains about the pleats… Hey, I’ve written 100 ranks now, don’t act like you’re not impressed!

Get ready to be impressed by links! Here’s my Top-10, Top-25, Top-50 & Top-75 if you’re still catching up. Ranks, ranks, ranks! And with us now getting to the top 100, I’m sure we’re going to start seeing a lot of comments about guys that fell off the horse. I just double-checked myself looking at Yahoo’s ranks for the first time, and they have someone top-40 that I didn’t even rank yet! Lunacy… Here’s the Top 100 for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

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More ranks, here we come!

Whew, I admittedly had a little rankings-shock after writing War & Peace with my Top-10 there.  I gotta whittle this down a little bit if we’re gonna have the ranks done by September like I hope!  No one wants to wait until early October to read about the 198th ranked Jeremy Lamb…  Or maybe they do!

I must preface these ranks with an admission – I’m buying more and more into punting.  I’m Todd Sauerbrunning it!  You can pull off some pretty crazy rankings changes when you knock off some categories in BBMonster valuation.  And before everyone gets all snotty with their comments, I know I’m going to bounce around using some 9-cat valuation for some guys, then take out some cats for others.  Ranks can’t be a one-size fits all, they change each player you draft.  It would be like ranking a white wine high with a steak recommended as the pairing, THAT’S BLASPHEMY, DAMMIT!  Here’s the Top 25 for the 2016-17 Fantasy Basketball Season:

Please, blog, may I have some more?