Here it is, friends, the big kahuna. It’s like when your friends sit around and say, “what are your top 30 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies?” Only instead of that, it’s me telling you the top 100 basketball players for fantasy basketball purposes. Now this is going to shock you, but I would not really go by this list during my draft.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

James Johnson scored only 5 pts, but grabbed 5 boards, blocked five shot, made 2-of-3 from the floor and sank a three. This is why he’s valuable. Skip the scoring. It’s not there. Won’t happen. Ignore it. Grab him anyway. Of all the secondary players that are still mostly available in fantasy leagues (>25 percent owned), Johnson is the player that really shouldn’t be unowned the most.

Please, blog, may I have some more?