Nene did some rootin’-tootin’ debutin’ last night for the Wiz. He couldn’t have picked a better time or place to do it than against the Nets. Maybe the Bobcats. Or the Washington Generals. I’m not sure there’s a difference, really. You’ve never seen James Vilsaint and Bismack Biyombo in the same room, have you?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Andray Blatche
Averaging 48% FG, 77% FT, 1.4 3PM, 8.3 pts, 3.5 rebs, 1.1 ast, .6 stl, and .7 blk this season, Brandon Rush has one of those underappreciated fantasy contributors from the mold of Shane Battier (not THIS year Shane Battier, but previous years).
Please, blog, may I have some more?Never mind that the news of Andray Blatche being out for about a month brought me more joy than sadness (schadenfreude, snitches!). Also, forget that never has a surname expressed so completely my negative feelings toward a person. Skip all that noise, jack.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Wade’s out. Rip’s out. Stuckey’s out. Tyrus is out (again). Thornton My Side was out. Lawson is day-to-day. Hawes slammed his back and left after 10 minutes last night. Curry remains out. Beasley’s status was downgraded. Granger went from missing time due to food poisoning to foot poisoning, marking the first typo-related injury in NBA history.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’re down to the wire now. Toss your burners, Marlowe. With just 10 days left, it’s time to erase the history of what got you here and look only in your immediate future. Unless you’re planning to keep Rudy Gay for next year, dump him.
Please, blog, may I have some more?John Wall threw a punch at Zydrunas Ilgauskas and was ejected in the middle of the second half. What the hell was he swinging at Big Z for anyway? Ilgauskas is big. Says so right in his nickname. And he feels no pain.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Danny Granger didn’t score his first two points until 7:16 in the second quarter. By the time he sank his first shot he had already bricked seven – four of which were from downtown – and I had long ago hurled my plate full of Hot Pockets at my TV.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Admit it, despite the fact that San Antonio’s Tony Parker hasn’t missed fewer than 10 games in any of his previous three seasons, you thought you were going to make it through 2011 with an almost completely healthy Tony Parker. What’s next?
Please, blog, may I have some more?This time of the year is always bittersweet. Shuffling up the collective deck of players and dealing them all over the NBA map is fun and exciting, like the time you see your first boob up close. You’ve spent a lot of time imagining it, then – poof – it’s there right in front of you and you have no idea what to do.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
