After witnessing the Philadelphia lose their eleventh straight contest this year, needless to say, it certainly takes balls to be a 76ers fan right now. I’m not referring to testicular fortitude or alpha masculinity, but rather literally, to the ping pong balls of hope known as the 2016 NBA Draft Lottery. With the possibility of multiple lottery picks in the 2016 Draft, it’s going to be okay Philadelphia fans. Put down your weapons, we’ll get through this together.

But it may take some time, since the franchise is focusing on future contention; the on-court product suffers as the 76ers appear to be the worst team in basketball once again.

At this point, I’m just surprised Philadelphia still has a team website, since they can’t string three “W’s” together…

I think I’m going to hide in a corner for the rest of my life after that joke.

Philly, I’m rooting for you, and I’m rooting for the process!

Jahil Okafor continued to impact the box score with a 19 points, 11 boards, 1 assist, 1 steal, and 2 blocks. The Rookie of the Year frontrunner recorded his second straight double double against a soft Dallas front court. Luckily for fantasy owners, Okafor will see plenty of minutes to develop in the interim despite concerns about his immediate impact to the team’s chances of winning. Long term, his inabilities to defend the rim and stretch the floor may impact his fit in Philadelphia. I don’t think the coaching staff has any surprising moves in store for 2015 (such as playing more small ball around Noel or limiting Okafor’s minutes experimenting with more perimeter-based lineups), but moving forward, it is a trend to monitor as he continues to develop this year.

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Well, you might lose your patience after I plagiarized last week’s title and didn’t even have a rhyme-y pun in it!  I’m like the Robert De Niro of short filmmaking

But it is interesting that we’ve had back-to-back weekends of patience paying off.  It’s like having to hold it in and thinking of baseball to make it last!  Although when I think of baseball I think of Grey, so it’s not making anything last!  The injuries have been ridiculously frustrating the past two years, but this last one was just a bad cut that Terrence Jones accidentally squeezed lemon juice in when he was making shrimp scampi.  At least it wasn’t a leg or body part injury, so I remained firm in my Tjones love.  A lot of commenters were asking about selling Tjones away for virtually nothing, and there was even some drop Tjones sentiment.  After a pretty lowly return last Wednesday, Jones showed everyone how good he is when his run is normalized, putting up 23 Pts on Friday and Saturday, with 23/7/0/0/4 and 23/6/1/1/3 lines hitting well over 50% from the field with a combined 4 treys.  I can’t think of baseball fast enough when seeing those numbers!  As I quickly change my pants, it’s probably too late to swing some buy low offers and hopefully you own Tjones in several leagues to ride the wave.  If anyone wants to pay top-30 or 40 value (doubtful), Jones does have the inherent risk of more injuries, so I might sell him off at that price.  But I’m not looking at this weekend as a fluky, sell-high couple of games.  Pateince is a Tjones!  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy hoops action, and The 7 Ahead for week 4:

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Flashy player.  Ridiculous opportunity.  Buzzy preseason.  A lot of times it ends up fizzling out, sometimes it works out OK, and one time it’s C.J. McCollum.

C.J. went absolutely bonkers in his 15-16 debut, hitting 14-22 from the field including 6-9 3PTM for 37/6/1/1/0 and no TO.  Video game numbers!  So he’s a shooter, and he does what NBA shooters do – keeps draining em when they hot!  But I think we need to take a step back and consider a few things:  Other than massive Pts and treys it was fairly empty.  This was against the Pelicans, who without Brow, might look worse than the Sixers; they look horrific.  And the third thing that no one seemed to mention while anointing McCollum the next big thing in combo guards this preseason – he’s got a pretty extensive injury history.  He’s at the pinnacle of a sell high for me.  Do I think he’ll be hot garbage all the sudden?  Of course not.  But do I think he scores 37 again this year?  I don’t.  Well, unless they faced the Pelicans every night…  I’d shop around in the 40-50 range of ADP and see if you can get lucky.  As with all fantasy takeaways off one game, it’s always good to keep from overreacting.  Compared to fantasy football, we’re at the same point as about 9 minutes into the first quarter of week 1.  Still a long way to go.  Here’s what else went down during the first full slate of fantasy basketball action:

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With the NBA preseason in full swing, the fantasy basketball season is now less than a week away. Unfortunately for me, it will not come quickly enough as my fantasy football team is slowly imploding with each passing week. For struggling owners, fantasy basketball may be the life from the turbulent waters of fantasy football, representing an opportunity to return to the shores of fantasy success. This means I’m turning my full attention towards fantasy basketball draft prep in order to numb the pain of my football failures.

With a majority of fantasy basketball leagues carrying a shallow bench (usually three players), it is pivotal for owners to nail their late-round picks. These selections carry added weight since these players will contribute toward the final outcome every week. In order to win, every rostered play must be in the lineup and hold enough value to warrant their spot. Backend production may seem marginal compared to a team’s aggregated weekly totals, but selecting solid backups with upside late in the draft raises the ceiling of your team.

While there are a plethora of high-upside, low investment players to consider this season, Boston Celtics forward Amir Johnson is currently one of the more undervalued fantasy sleepers heading into the regular season.

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Time for the undraftables!

It’s an absolute barren wasteland trying to sift through the 151-200 ranks, akin to that 60-year-old retiree scanning a remote beach with his metal detector.  Bleep!  Bleep!  Eureka I found a dime!  But none of these guys are good enough to get dimebags!

We’re finally wrapping up the top 200 (Rank 1-10 | Rank 11-20 | Rank 21-50 | Rank 51-75 | Rank 76-100 | Rank 101-150), with most of these guys untouchable in 12ers.  However, there is some upside to be had with your last-pick fliers and hopefully help out with the deeper leagues.  The deep ballers.  “I’m balls deep in sleepers!”  If only that were the case – a lot of these guys are likely duds or rooks that won’t see enough PT.  “I’m balls deep in DNPs!”  So remember upside is a big factor when you get this late, as no one wants to be balls deep in O.J. Mayo‘s 20 minutes off the bench…

If you disagree with these ranks, be sure to put your fantasy acumen to the test in the Razzball Commenter Leagues!  We need more commissioners and leagues, so sign up a league today, it takes literally a minute – I stop-watched myself – and face off against the best fantasy basketball community around!  Prizes and me shaming myself on YouTube abound!

Back to it, here’s the Top 200 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season:

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Ah, the late-round fliers!  Which I think is “fliers”.  A lot of the time, I almost write it “flyers”.  Zach LaVine is a late round flyer!  Eesh, being a married man makes you start getting reallllll corny with the jokes.

So as I’ve mentioned a few times getting through the top 100 (Rank 1-10 | Rank 11-20 | Rank 21-50 | Rank 51-75 | Rank 76-100), there just isn’t many warm bodies out there to call “JB’s late sleepers”.  And, well, a lot of that is because I have guys that are ranked in the 100s on Yahoo and ESPN in my mid-rounds (cough, Jordan Clarkson – ESPN 99 Yahoo 144, what the hey?! aherm, cough cough – I’ve caught the plague!), while just as much is the lack of sexy rookies in good situations.  Jahlil Okafor is awful for fantasy.  D’Angelo Russell loves talking 401ks with Josh Smith by the turnovers at the breakfast buffet.  Stanley Johnson looks awesome, but Detroit has a bigger wing mix than Bdubs.  Asian zing – that one my jam!

With these final rounds of players, it’s also important to factor in league size.  These ranks are [hoping to tailor] for a 12-team league, so I’ll reach for a tad more upside the later we go than go for stability.  Tristan Thompson is going to be mad consistent for some points and boards for the very deep leagues, but lordy he’ll be unownable in a 12er.  You’re fired!  Can’t believe this Trump stuff is still going on…  Anyway, here’s the Top 150 for the 2015-16 Fantasy Basketball Season:

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The NBA really is Jordan Belfort.  The Wolf of Fantasy Sports!  It’s tantric and never slows down, from the Finals ending less than two weeks before the draft, free agency hitting a week later and we’re already starting summer ball.  And the NBA will soon revel in the excess that is the 16-17 salary cap boost with a TV deal that put Seinfeld reruns to shame.  I need my ludes to get me through!

Even the Spurs couldn’t avoid the world of excess and massive free agency signings, bringing in LaMarcus Aldridge for a cool $80 million.  Loosening up the purse strings!  My first thought was, “dammit, Kawhi is never gonna be the guy!”  Then again, he got over $90 mil with his extension, so there’s that!  But Kawhi Leonard sometimes struggles with the mid-range and long-distance shooting, so L.A. should help Kawhi by opening up some lanes and keeping him in his game.  This is going to be a crazy offense, with Tim Duncan moving to center and likely being his solid old self.  Which leaves us with what to expect from Aldridge…  And, me no likey for fantasy.  After being really durable early in his career, he’s had a few bumps and bruises (I know, I know, playing through a torn thumb tendon gets mad props) and the Spurs – as we all know – love to limit the minutes.  I also don’t think he quite gets to 20 shots a game like we’ve seen the past few years.  I had him 20 in my way too early rankings, but the move drops him a few spots at the least.  L.A. in S.A. is not OK!  Here’s what else has gone on through the first few days of free agency and rookie ball:

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How did the Celtics make the playoffs?!  I mean, I know it’s the East, but sheesh Brad Stevens can grind my gears!  I feel like slamming him in my Peter Griffin voice!

And sinking the game-winner for the Quahog Celtics was Jae Crowder, the unlikely hero in only 21 minutes off the bench.  9/4/0/2/0 last night, and if only style points helped your fantasy line!  Hah, look at Tyler Hansbrough put his hands on his head…  Wasn’t bad defense though!  Boston Clam Crowder just going ham…  Can you have ham in clam chowdah?  I somehow doubt it…  This game as a whole was pretty boring for fantasy, with no one scoring over 16 Pts.  And Stevens said he’s going to run the C’s like a bad chowder – thin – tonight in the season finale with the #7 seed locked up.  So adios Celtics muchachos!  Unlike my hummin’ fantasy baseball pitching staffs – it’s time to move away from the Greene.  Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy basketball action:

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Well, there’s a reason standard H2H leagues end 10 days early!  Sheesh it’s just a mine field out there…  Did you ever play that game Minesweeper in the 90s?!  Man that game got annoying…

Anyway, it was a crazy weekend across the NBA highlighted by Jrue Holiday returning from his leg issues over the weekend.  Even in this final month of rest, The Lord needed a Holiday!  It really surprised to see him return this season, but I guess with the Pels in it, he’s persevering.  Jrue was rusty in Friday night’s return (1-7 FG), but caught fire Sunday night for 7-9 FG, 17 Pts and 3 treys.  Since he had to sit last night and had to be abandoned months ago by the unfortunate souls who drafted him, he still might be out there in your league.  In a pivotal final game tomorrow hosting the Spurs, Jrue should get a good bit of run as an offensive sixth man.  He’s a risky play since we don’t know how many minutes he’ll get, but if you need some Pts and Ast as a final stream, he could deliver.  Jrue works for you!  Here’s what else has gone on since the weekend in fantasy hoops action:

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Things move fast in Hollywood!  After Dwyane Wade sold the sitcom rights of his life to Fox, he’s already been casted to star in Alexander Payne’s sequel Sideways.  Apparently it’s about an over-the-hill basketball player who chugs four bottles of wine before playing the Bulls….

Twas a rough one for D-Wade hitting only 4-20 (420!) from the field, putting up 9/3/3 with 5 TO last night.  Awesome defense by my boyfriend Tony Snell!  Played 38 minutes of fantasy-awfulness, but his D was smothering!  While I’m usually good with learning from pictures, from what I gathered in the playoff picture the Heat are now 1.5 games out of the playoffs.  I may have seen the picture wrong, I mean that mother F dress was blue!  Oh great, we’re back on that again…  Anyway, Wade might only have one game left in him if the Heat get knocked out of the playoff picture, and I think is expendable in Roto and H2H leagues running through Wednesday.  No reason to keep some dead weight from winning your title, and keeping you from that Sandra Oh-face!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?