Last night was a doozy. Flummoxing. I actually had to look up flummoxing to be sure it worked. And it does! But there are numerous things that aren’t working for the Kings, mainly Rudy Gay‘s Achilles and DeMarcus Cousins‘ ankle. Gay actually wasn’t “Leon” down in pain like DeMarcus after DMC fully rolled his ankle, but neither sounds like any sort of fun. With Cousins, the diagnosis is a “moderate sprain” and I gotta say, a big near 300-pounder putting all his weight on an ankle the turns 90 degrees the wrong way doesn’t sound moderate. Moderate maybe in the sense that the dude in 127 hours only had to “moderately” scratch his arm to get free! I’d expect at least a few weeks. But, “I’m not a doctor, I’m a pool man!” Then there’s Gay’s Achilles which you could see in his face he was in bad pain and exited pretty quick, albeit under his own power. We all saw Kobe Bryant limp off under his own power with the torn Achilles, so this one is definitely a hold-your-breath injury. The obvious immediate add in most formats is Derrick Williams, who I kinda disregarded when he was acquired, but now is in a “you-better-be-able-to-score-a-lot-because-we’ll-need-it” starting role. Solid 22/11/1 with three treys last night in 40 minutes of duty. Just added him in one league for the ice cold Terrence Ross for example. Ross is like, “hey don’t blame me, it’s this effin’ weather!” Yes – I narrate my fantasy teams. Someday soon I hope to put on a finger puppet show. Here’s what else I saw last night in a wild evening of fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Bulls are a lot like the Tanner children. Whatever the hell the name of the youngest the Olsen Twins played is Derrick Rose – all sorts of famous but now all sorts of a mess. The middle one is Kirk Hinrich. Because as soon as he’s not on the Bulls anymore, he’s gonna become so irrelevant that even Tom Thibodeau will forget who he was the next season. Which leaves us with D.J. who is obviously – D.J. Augustin. I mean, Bob Saget should’ve just stopped at the first kid! Well I guess there’s still upside with the youngest one. This metaphor is tanking JB! I feel as if you readers are starting profanity-laced rants thus far. Just like Bob Saget’s stand-up “act”! Hey-oh! So Hinrich got hurt yet again last night, doing something to his hammy. It’s almost as if you can predict injuries! Part of my gravitation to D.J. was not only how well he was fitting with the team, but how brittle Captain Kirk is. I would make a Star Trek parallel, but it’s TNG or nothing, son! Besides, the TV show metaphors are a strong 0/1 this morning… Augustin is in line for huge run and in 37 minutes last night went 27/4/4 with 5 threes. I expect pretty high-teen scoring and 6-8 dimes a night with a couple of treys while Hinrich is out, then maintaining the starting role when Hinrich is back with minimal dropoff. More-or-less a must own in all leagues, and I’ve been Bull[hah!]ish on him all along. Hopefully you’ve scooped him up and held on to him. Here’s what else I saw in fantasy hoops on a busy day of MLK action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl in 2009, it was a great example of how the Sports Karma Gods can sometimes rush in after tragedy strikes to lift a city up and help it rebuild.
But then that was it. No more, said the Sports Karma Gods. Because since 2009, Big Easy sports fans have endured the Sean Payton scandal, the Chris Paul trade, the Hornets changing their name to the Pelicans, the freaking horrible uniforms for this year’s NBA All-Star game and a rash of injuries not unlike the rash Candy Flanders gave me in my sophomore year of high school. Er, ah, moving on.Please, blog, may I have some more?
JB really made me proud a few days ago. I guess it’s become kind of a ritual for us now. I know laser tag in an arena is fun and all but we needed real world experience. We decided the best place to hone our skills was to play at our local mall… at high noon. Of course we dress up in our best urban camouflage, for me it’s a simple business suit, that way I can stealthily weave in between what I’ve come to call the ‘zombie horde’. I never know what to expect from JB. He got me a few times with his police uniform but it hasn’t worked well recently so he adjusts. On this day he wore his most villainous of camouflage, the stripper schoolgirl, we have the mall security footage to prove it. But that’s neither here nor there, we were celebrating a match well played at the Candy World when two kids started rap battling in between the Pop Rocks and the Laffy Taffy. I thought they both played the role better than Jamie Kennedy, they’re accents were especially spot on. The hilarity of the situation wasn’t lost on anyone except of course, the two kids.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you have been stashing (or if you’re Grey, staching) Marc Gasol on your roster, you were feeling some Good Vibrations last night! Less because of the production, but more with the early arrival and fantasy goodness. And that good-ol Gasol Wildside. Now, I may be too young to remember Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but I am old enough to [barely] remember when Gasol went down that I said he was a hold in all formats. You may be saying “no duh!”, but he was dropped in several shallower leagues by those darned knee-jerkers. But as we talked about in the comments earlier this week, I see Gasol getting eased in and a tad rusty the first few games, but then back to a beast. 3-7 for 12/4/1 and 6-8 at the stripe last night. You’ll take that from a guy you’ve stashed! The Thunder tried to rough him up and it didn’t work. Only 24:12 on the court, but the one assist he had was vintage Gasol and should leave you feeling dandy from this point on. And props to Prodders for breaking the news and hopefully you got him in your line-up. Our comments save lives! New Razzball bumper sticker. Here’s what else I saw last night in Fantasy Hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yea yea I know… Of all the “Knight” puns, that’s the best ya got?! Man did Brandon Knight have a huge game last night, notching a career-high 36 points for a 36/9/3/0/1 line shooting 13-25 and 6-12 from deep. As you all know, I was a huge Knight fan heading into the year, stuck with him, and think this is what he averages here on out. Wiggity what?! Haha, just kidding to see if you were paying attention. I’ve always liked his ability to board, he’s probably the best pure scorer on that team, and can shoot treys and drive. But I’m a little tired of the “but he doesn’t assist!” from the hate Mafia. Who gives a flip man?! Of course because he’s a PG, he gets dogged for bad Ast:TO, and listen I get it – 8 TOs last night bums hard – but if Ryan Anderson had that line last night, people would be sacrificing live chickens just to meet him. Pedro Cerrano doesn’t like when his PG doesn’t dish! “If Brandon Knight doesn’t average 8 dimes a game, I say forget you Jobu! I do it myself!” Knight will never be an elite fantasy PG, sure, but a very useful one, definitely. He just has to navigate Larry Drew’s mood swings. Get the coach some Midol! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When the Obamacare website launched, it was a lot like the Nuggets. Load errors, mental mistakes, and only 6 people actually showed up because George Karl got fired. But after JaVale McGee went down (I bet the Nuggets wish their healthcare bills were free!), the 1-3 Nuggets are now 11-6. Coinky-dink? I think not! J.J. Hickson has been great at the 5 fillin’ in for Shaqtin-a-McGee, but it was Timofey Mozgov who has stolen the show the past two games, with 15+/15+ back-to-back including 17/20 against the hapless Nets last night. But a trend is a-surfacing as Hickson has been under 18 minutes in those games while Mozgov was over 30. Hickson is still starting, but Mozgov is just being a straight Godzilla out there against opposing B-teams. I’m not ready to completely hand over the torch – I think Mozzy Bear getting in there was just matchup-based and Hickson gets back to the 30 minute range and Mozgov to the low-to-mid 20s. But if you need boarding and scoring help, Mozgov is available in a lot of leagues and can still be valuable with that sort of run. Pete even put him on the radar! Now he’s in full view. Even 12-teamers needing the big man help need to take the flyer while they can. Here’s what else went down last night in the hoops-o-sphere:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s the time of crazed shopping for discounted electronics. The argument: “At that price, I couldn’t afford NOT to get it!” will be heard all around the country over Turkey leftovers this weekend. I give to you the Buy/Sell shortened holiday edition, free packaging, 70% off, this weekend only! And with that in mind, here are a few guys you can’t afford not to get:
Jordan Farmar PG
You got up late, you’re one of the last to the mall, cursing the excessive turkey and alcohol consumption, and you’re scrambling for points, treys, steals and the odd assist. Well, the basketball gods are smiling on you, because although he’s one of the last in the sales bin, Jordan Farmar is still there for you. In the last 2 games, he has hit 8 3pts, with almost 5 dimes per game. He’s only owned 9% of leagues. It’s not a perfect choice, but that’s what you get when you sleep in, mutton-head!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I have never seen JB so shaken up as he was the other day. Everything was completely normal when I walked in. Jude Judy was on like normal. His hands were covered in orange Cheetos residue like normal. A slight hint of alcohol in the air did have me question whether I really wanted to stop by but I risked it anyway. I didn’t get two feet in the door and the first thing he says is, “I can’t believe he’s dead.” It was strange because I couldn’t tell what the emotion was. He was definitely sad, angry too. “How could they just… he’s dead.” Oddly there was laughter in his voice. He could tell I had no idea what he was talking about and he continued, “Bryan’s gone.” I was saddened to hear the news but I had to stop him and tell him I didn’t know anyone named Bryan and NO I’m not going to shake your hand until you clean it off. He explained to me about Family Guy and the dog dying and it all began to make sense. Except for why he cared so much. I watched the show enough to know there was a dog but until then I didn’t know the dog even had a name. He could not accept this so he sat me down, muted the Judge, handed me the Cheetos, and began that days lesson in pop culture.Please, blog, may I have some more?
My lead yesterday was about a weekend of injuries, and as much as I wanted to stay away from injuries in today’s open, there’s just way too many. Like that pilot in the Return of the Jedi when they attack the new Death Star. “There’s too many of them!” Sorry in advance Jake VZ – but I think the lead is Bradley Beal reportedly aggravating his leg injury and at the time of this post in the wee hours of the morning, the Wizards fear a prolonged absence. Beal hurt the same leg with a broken fibula last year that ended his season prematurely. In both my longer blurb in my top 100 and in my top 200 I tried to say I was worried, and only ended up with him on my autodrafted team. By now, news has hit his little news icon on Yahoo and ESPN, so it’s going to be a little tough to sell at full price or even a slight discount if you’re hitting the panic button. I’m worried myself. I’m running in with Jodie Foster and a weird, gothy, tween Kristen Stewart into my Panic Room. More precise news should come out today, but if for some reason you were about to cut Martell Webster, hold the phone and keep my boy. I have been told I have too many “boys”. But I like Webster a lot! And called him a must add a few weeks back. Trevor Ariza is also back and starting tonight, and the mere fact they’re not easing him in off the bench has me thinking his hammy must be doing pretty well. Both Ariza and Webster are looking at big minutes for a stretch, and John Wall will continue to have this big offensive upside he’s shown in the past two games. Here’s what else went down in the wide world of fantasy hoops last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?