We have already delighted you with controversy and angst, ranking Dwight Howard in the top ten at the expense of the beloved reincarnation of the Christ child (or the deity of your choice), Andrew Bynum. In the original commandments given to Moses, God warned, “Thou Shalt Not List Any Other Above Andrew Bynum.”  At the end of the season when Bynum is the MVP with 30.3 PPG, 19.7 RPG, and 5.3 BPG, you can stand and look down at me as I endure the eternal torment of fantasy hell.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Upon occasion – especially while watching the Wizards – I think to myself, “Self? You could do better than these guys, right? Sure, you’re not as tall as most of these guys and you have trouble going to your left, you tend to get wheezy after just a couple laps up the court, your sweat makes people not want to talk to you, you choke on the gum you’re chewing 3/4 of the possessions, and your on-court communication consists mostly of reciting lines from ‘White Men Can’t Jump,’ but still, the Wizards are awful.” Now I know you think it’s weird that I address myself as Self, but if I didn’t do that how would I know who I’m talking to?

Please, blog, may I have some more?