Howdy Cool Cats, great news! Due to a combination of all my hard work and Martha from accounting going on maternity leave, I’ve been awarded an actual office, and given the primetime spot of Wednesday, up from that smelly old Friday! Ok, the office is virtual, but the slot is real. By that I’m referring to Wednesday, not Martha. The virtual office comes with more responsibility (I have to drive into the Razzball building and make sure the recycling is sorted, and restock the coffee creamers in the kitchen), but it’s nice to finally get some recognition! I asked for a parking space and a vacation package, and they told me, fine, you are now on permanent vacation. How cool is that?? I gather that means I can work when I want, we artists can be a finicky bunch, it’s prudent of them to recognize that. Well, never fear, good reader, I won’t let my success go to my head, I still have plenty of nuggets to share with the little people. I strive to be humble, and keep doing what got me to the big show. Speaking of getting to the show, here are a few guys on the way up to that corner office, and a few who are heading to the mail room:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry if today’s update is a little light on jokes, as I had to sit through the ultimate joke – my Panthers playing football. Cam Newton looks more injured than the Thunder and the offensive line tanked worse than the 76ers. Buzz’s girlfriend, WOOF!
Anthony Davis is good at basketball. LeBron James can still get triple doubles. Eh, there you go, open over.
Just kidding, but the level of ball Davis is playing right now is ridiculous, with my eyebrow raised off of my forehead like I’m a South Park cartoon. And he’s doing it while being a boss with his %s. 27/14/4/3/4 last night in a near double-rainbow, while shooting 12-21 FG, 3-4 FT, and count em, even fewer TO than Davis has eyebrows, not a single giveaway. I mean, the Panthers took two plays to have more turnovers than Davis last night…
Not to be overshadowed, LeBron tripdubbed for 32/12/10/1/1. This game was redonkulous! Key word on donk, as lots of that was being thrown around. LeBron did have 4 TO, so advantage Brow! According to Basketball Monster, Davis’ per-game value is on pace to obliterate the best per-game season since their system launched in 2005-06 with Kevin Durant‘s 2012-13 second best (looking at those, man I forgot how awesome Shawn Marion was!). We need Rudy to build a best fantasy seasons of all time Sporcle! While the times are a-changin’, just be happy if you got Brow, since I couldn’t anywhere. Panthers suck, I see these lines from Brow even though I was in a big minority having him #1 overall… I will be drinking my Crown & Cokes for the duration of this article. Here’s what else went down in hoops action last night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ay dios mio!
Friday was a cryday for me. Then Saturday was a sadderday. Muy triste! Ricky Rubio severely sprained his ankle in the second quarter against the Magic Friday night, effectively crushing several of my teams and ruining my DraftKings squad! Seems like every year there’s several bad ankle sprains with players rolling their foot on their own, get these guys better footwear! Rubio’s gonna miss at least a month, with a widely circulated update it “could” be 7-8 weeks. All I want for Christmas is Rubio back on the court! I’m holding in virtually all leagues, as he was finally banking on the high expectations I’ve set for him with my high ranks the past two years. Because we all know the Razzball Ranks are bulletin board material for NBA locker rooms…
Everything seemed to point towards a massive workload for Mo Williams, who through the first four games (with Rubio in there full time as the starter), Mo was averaging 21.4 minutes and 3 dimes per. But surprisingly, Flip Saunders went sushi on us with the raw Zach Lavine getting the start and going 5/6/4 in 26 minutes (only 2 TO) while Mo’s 2/4/5 in 22 minutes (3 TO) doesn’t inspire any sort of confidence Williams will get more rock. Add into the stew the Wolves were actually in that game against the Heat until the end, and it’s a stew I don’t think I want any part of anymore. I mean, who puts sushi in a mother f stew?! Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This NBA DFS season has been kind of a roller coaster ride. The ownership of players is higher than normal. Seems like everyone is on the same value players night after night. If your high priced players you spend on don’t tank and reach value then you’re going to do well. So be smart and don’t take too many risky players. Also with the NFL, NHL and College Football going on too, be smart with your bankroll.
On Saturday we have a 7 game slate:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Exclusivity. Makes you feel special, empowered, embrazened. Embatlled, embaweome, Embiid-ish.
Yes, you’ve read that right, DraftKings – Razzball’s daily fantasy site of choice – has thrown us our first RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE NBA CONTEST for tonight, which you can only join through that All Caps link. Yes, it may look like I’m yelling at you, but I’m pumped! You can’t enter through the main DraftKings lobby or from a URL scribbled down on a napkin by your lunch waitress, only that link right there will guide you into our VIP area.
And by exclusive, we mean exclusive. Only 20 spots will be open to readers, and well, it’s only 18 since Slim and I are in there. So you’ve gotta sign up quick, no dilly dallying! The entry fee is $10, with first place taking home a hunnet! $100 for first, $50 for second, and $25 for 3rd and 4th place. Using my Mickey Math (yes I had one of those as a kid!), you can add those up to get the full $200, so DraftKings is not taking any profit. Just giving us our own contest for our own bragging rights.
If you’re new to daily fantasy, it’s an exponentially growing segment of the fantasy industry, and unlike failing the Marshmallow Test, you can get immediate gratification without feeling bad about it. No more waiting the whole season before knowing if indeed JB BEATS SLIM!!!!, but I’ll know right away if I spanked his beard right off him. I’m “jbrazzball” for your tracking enjoyment through the contest, and let’s get it filled up fast so maybe they’ll give widen us up for a few more spots!
Scoring for DraftKings is similar to a points league, and you can find the breakdown here if you’ve never played daily fantasy or haven’t played on DraftKings yet.
Here’s five of my picks for tonight in a big slate of games, so choose wisely and may the best daily fantasy-ite win:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Man, both NBA games last night were atrocious… Even if the Rockets McDonald’s unis were effing awesome, love those 90s reds and yellows!
Gregg Popovich sat Manu Ginobili and Tim Duncan (on top of Marco Belinelli and Tiago Splitter injured) that’s sure to get Adam Silver pitching a tent in his NBA-fines PJs. With no Duncan or Splitter, the Spurs had to play Aron Baynes and Boris Diaw at C. Wow. And against an inconsistent-at-best post player in Dwight Howard! But Dwight destroyed his “defenders” and looked like a 17 year old high school kid with college aspirations playing against middle schoolers. Like watching Taco Fall play against other high school JV teams. Man, Taco makes a basketball look like a grapefruit!
There’s really only one explanation to last night’s travesty – Pop owns Dwight on his fantasy team. And well, let’s guess Kevin McHale drafted Tim Duncan and was against Pop this week. Pop DOES NOT like to lose in fantasy basketball. I’d imagine when he talks to his fantasy opponents it goes something like this. “What’s more powerful than me winning every year? Hope. That I’d ever let anyone else win!” Dwight for 32/16/0/1/2 shooting 12-18 from the field. It was pretty bad out there, matchup wise. He did his Dwight thing missing FT but ended up fine hitting 8-13. I’m very steadfast in my anti-Dwight ways, so if you have Howard and have thought about trading, this is the game to be off of to do it. Here’s what else went down in a light slate of Thursday action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I gotta say, last night might have been one of the most exhilarating early season nights of NBA action that I can remember for some time. Career-highs, two buzzer beaters, a triple double, upset Ws… It was awesome.
Before we get into how the city of Cleveland can just give up hope… again… if you haven’t noticed on the main page of the site, Slim is in need of a new didgeridoo! When my awful Hornets somehow beat the Heat, he took his frustration out on his favorite instrument, banging the wood in fervent frustration. Wow, that sounded wrong! But Razzball Nation can help! Click on his donate button there to help him buy a new didgeridoo, for any value you wish, especially as a thanks for helping with the comments in the wee hours of the morning whilst I beauty sleep snuggled up with my Brandon Knight blow up doll.
But before that mental image is indefinitely burnt into your subconscious, let’s get back to action on the court where the big game was obviously the Jazz knocking off the Cavs on a Gordon Hayward buzzer beating fader. “Look Butler fans, I can hit big buzzer beater shots!” Awwwww, low blow… The Cavs had all sorts of terrible sluiced through their stats, like six, count em, SIX assists in the entire game. Four were from LeBron too. I guess the other Cavs want to prove to LeBron they all can be ball hogs. In contrast, the Spurs had six assists on their first six field goals in their win last night… But not like they’re a model franchise or anything!
As NBA fans, which all of us are even if we care more about fantasy than anything else, last night was a winner. I guess unless you’re a David Lee owner, or Cleveland fan… There’s always Green, or the Browns tonight! Colors to the rescue! Here’s what else went down in fantasy hoops action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You might as well set up a Civil War style triage on the Thunder bench, because somebody has the team set of Thunder voodoo dolls and isn’t wasting any time! Adding to this virtually unprecedented injury wave to hit an NBA team through only week one of the season, Perry Jones knocked knees for the second game in a row; this time in a ton of pain and had to exit. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so check out the Thunder depth chart on Rotoworld, where the red S means sidelined:
Oklahoma City Red S-es! And while a “knee contusion” usually wouldn’t worry me too much, George Hill had the same deal and he’s going to be out until late-November is sounds…
On the plus side, Serge Ibaka is absolutely en fuego out there. 25/11/2/0/1 and forced to take contested jumpers the whole night, but hit 11-14 including three treys. And played 46 minutes out of desperation! The blocks will come, so if you got Serge late round 1 (like we had him) or round 2, you’ve got something of your own surging in your pants.
On the negative side, Reggie Jackson is playing with some ill-advised reckless abandon. I mean, give the kid some props for playing through numerous injuries last night, but he ended up with his butt on the hardwood more often then Paris Hilton. Had a fantastic slash of 13/4/14 but hurt his wrist limiting him to 4-14 FG (0-6 3PTM). Plus the ankle still looks gimpy. I know the upside is immense the next month, but I might try to sell RJax high after watching this game. It was like watching Denard Robinson at Michigan. I’m not a huge college football fan, but my dad went there and I watch parts of most games, and Shoelace is still the most dynamic player I’ve ever seen in Maize & Blue. But he seemed to leave early almost every game, getting battered and beaten up.
The Thunder need to do everything and anything to get healthy, with three straight off days until Friday. My recommendations include – every player eating a live octopus chasing it with raw eggs, hiring the Wolverine (Jackman, not Denard) for some mutant healing blood, and calling Mrs. Cleo to figure out which guy will be hurt on Friday and benching him. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we head into August, now is a perfect time to take a look back at the free agency period for the upcoming 2014-15 NBA season.
While there is one big name yet to sign (Eric Bledsoe), a few less-intriguing options still on the market (Michael Beasley, Andray Blatche, Kent Bazemore, Jordan Crawford), and another who’s unsure whether he’ll play or retire (Ray Allen), most of the fantasy basketball world knows where guys will be playing this season. Of course, that still doesn’t include the possibility of Kevin Love finding a new home by the end of the summer, but that could be the subject of an entirely different article.
There is little doubt in anyone’s mind that Love will land in Cleveland, which will make them a huge force in the Eastern Conference — and in the entire NBA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So one of my favorite Charlotte Hornets memories was Glen Rice winning the All-Star Game MVP in 1997. I was still a chitlin, but even then I knew the Hornets were the epitome of small market (and moved just a few years later). Rice seemed like a fill-in bench player (even though he was pretty nasty in 96-97 with a by far career-high 26.8 a game), but went absolutely bonkers in the ASG second half, putting up 20 in the 3rd quarter. He was hotter than P.J. Hairston in a “yo mama” contest! I knew the Hornets had no title aspirations (ending up getting swept in the first round), but it made the whole season worth it.
And the Glen Rices of the world now have another, well smaller, trophy on their mantle with Glen Rice Jr. winning the Summer League MVP. Actually, I’m not sure if he gets a trophy… Maybe just a stack of $1,000 in Belagio chips… Either way, Rice put up a 6-game line of 25/7.8/2.3/2.5/0.5 boosted by a plain stupid 36/11/3/4/0 line with six treys last Saturday. “Pretend every game is the All-Star game film I always make you watch, son!” The Wizards boosted their wings (and headband usage) with Paul Pierce brought in, plus Otto Porter should see a lot of minutes off the bench. But behind Bradley Beal, Martell Webster just had herniated disc back surgery leaving a big early-season gap for backup SG minutes. Sure Garrett Temple might be able to fill-in, but off the hot Summer, I think Rice Jr. has got some minutes coming his way. Plus one of the biggest concerns for Beal is his injury risk, so a deep-league gamble on Glenny Jr. could be an interesting flier. Here’s what else has gone down with Summer League wrapping up and free agency moves:Please, blog, may I have some more?