Hmmmm, ok, who did you pick in you office “who scores 40 points tonight” pool? I bet the Vegas odds were… a million to one on Nick Young. “So you’re saying there’s a chance!” Too bad Nick Young sucks in fantasy. You actually have to go back 15 games to find him putting up a 5 in any counting stat other than treys. The ThrAGNOF fairy strikes again! Dude went a preposterous 15-26 (6-13 3PTM 4-5 FT) 40/4/1/2/0 and only had one turnover last night. The Blazers should be ashamed. I’m pretty sure this game never actually happened, and it was some sort of elaborate April Fool’s joke. Swaggy P shockingly led the Lakers in minutes off the bench, and with his shoot first, ask questions later attitude, Mike D’Anotni’s rape stache kept curling upwards in facial hair glee. By the end of the game (and yes, another Lakers loss), D’Anotni’s mustache looked like Rollie Fingers. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy basketball action:
Kendall Marshall – Kid can’t catch a break! Had a nice game going – shooting 2-4 (2-3 3PTM 2-2 FT) 8/6/5/1/0 with only one TO, but stuck at 19 minutes! Why you ask?! The ghost of Steve Nash! And he would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids. Nash racks up a dimebag, which hopefully can alleviate some of these nerve problems. If you’re in a H2H final, really neither are ownable unless in super deep leagues, even with Nash already ruled out for tonight.
Ryan Kelly – Slim’s latin lover for 9/9/2/0/2 with a trey in a very solid 20 minutes. Get a room!
Chris Kaman – Well he better have done something, since Jordan Hill got an unannounced DNP! I swear, D’Anonti is just jerking it around just to read fantasy basketballers’ rants. He’s basically trolling fantasy basketball with these lineup decisions. 29 minutes for Kaman for a very useful 12/6/2/1/3 line. Probably was a popular stream choice last night, I think I recommended him a couple times, and you’ll take it.
Pau Gasol – Got 28 minutes in his return. Almost rainbowed it too! 9/4/7/1/2 and played alongside Kaman for what I thought would be the Lakers front court all year. Instead I got bent over and D’Antoni gave it to me right in my back court.
Jodie Meeks – Ughughughughughughugh. Yet another reason to hate on Swaggy P – hurting the Meeks.
Damian Lillard – Man, must be fun to be a good NBA PG and play against a terrible D’Antoni system, and terrible defenders in Marshall and the ghost of Steve Nash. 34/2/8/3/0. Was in a mini-lull to close out last week, comes out strong this week.
LaMarcus Aldridge – Oh man, it’s like it’s 2013 again! 31/15/6/1/2 in his best line for a couple months. Championship special dewivewry!
Draymond Green – Yeah boi! 9/7/6/2/1 for a guy I’ve talked a lot about. Harrison Barnes got 13 minutes off the bench while Draymond for 42 starting minutes. What happened to Harrison Barnes man!? Seems like he could’ve be really good… Roy Williams southern gentlemen-ed him to death…
Jermaine O’Neal – 20/8 with a block. Shot 9-12 and now three straight usable games with Andrew Bogut and David Lee hurt. Both should be out again, so old man O’Neal a possible stream tonight! Well, if your line-up isn’t already full that is…
Samuel Dalembert – A slap in the face 7 minutes as the starting C. I haven’t seen any injury updates, so I think it’s just Dallas going small. Either that or old man O’Neal was just plain too much! Not a guy I’d love to trust, obviously.
Dirk Nowitzki – Sprechen sie Schnitzel!? Humungo line from Dirk last night of 13-21 (6-8 3PTM 1-3 FT) 33/11/3/2/1 without a single TO. But those two FTs could’ve meant the game. He’s a drop in all leagues because of that.
Omer Asik – Well, I would say he’s a solid Goromotaro threat with no Dwight Howard, but can’t be air balling free throws! Huge 23 boards for a 12/23/0/1/2 line. Shot 2-6 from the stripe including this fundamental gem. If you got the boards you’re happy, but man, he does not look good out there. A rich man’s Reggie Evans.
Terrence Jones – Has the flu. Donatas Motiejunas started and caught the foul trouble bug. Pretty much like the movie Outbreak for Rockets PFs.
Jeremy Lin – Meh. 16/4/2/1/0 with a couple of treys, but hey! Much better than his first start with no Patrick Beverley!
Joe Johnson – Strokin’ the Js! That sounds kinda wrong… 13-21 (4-8 3PTM 2-2 FT) for 32/4/3/1/0. Fantasy-wise, his numbers really don’t look that much better than Nick Young’s. Gus Ayonin’!
Shaun Livingston – Continues to be a multi-cat gem. A diamond in the rough! 17/6/2/2/1 last night shooting 6-12, 5-6 FT and only 1 TO. Literally rocking it in every cat cept the treys.
Andray Blatche – I recommended him as a stream to a comment yesterday, and feels good to get one right! 13/4/2/0/2 won’t blow your socks off, but this could be proven wrong with the 4 TOs. If you lose by less than two or three TOs, my b! Blame Asik’s awkward defense. Kinda like the kid who doesn’t know how to play basketball always getting in the way.
Next Game: A very, very busy night across the NBA and I’ve got CLE @ ORL then MEM @ MIN highlights. Will be bouncing between both, but focusing on Kyrie Irving is he is able to return then how Gorgui Dieng looks back in an assumed starting role. Be sure to set those lineups and win Razzball Nation some hoops titles!