Oh man, no rest for the wicked! Speaking of wicked, oh man quick shout out to the Wicked Weed Funkatorium, that brewery rocked! But yeah, an absolutely amazing slate to catch me back up on the daily notes, with 4 overtimes last night. Including a super size me doubler in Miami! Most of the other games stayed close too, and 20 of the 22 teams in action last night topped 100 points. Fantasy orgasm! And leading the charge on such a big-and-tall NBA night was of course Isaiah Thomas! Career-high 44 points for IT2/3, putting up a 4/3rd’s of a full line of 44/3/6/1/1 on 10-16 FG (7-10 3PTM, 17-17 FT) including a big three in extra time in the OT win.
I’m just glad this groin thing got worked out! …That sounded wrong… If you have a smaller groin muscle, does it heal faster?! I’m not saying he doesn’t have a kick stand down there with a line like this, but just wondering! After semi-breaking out last year (well he was only 2/3 better than his career year in 13-14 for the Kings), IT2/3 has taken an even further step up – scoring 26.6 PPPG, upping the FT volume to 8.8/per at 90% (remember when he was like 70% the first few weeks, that changed quick!), and even though the steals are only at 0.9, he’s drastically cut his TO rate to only 2.2 despite all the added USG. After a slow start due to injuries, the Celtics look like a pretty tough team at full strength right now, and maybe IT2/3 can lead this squad into a deep run. I’ll be cheering for them! (cough, REL bias, cough…) Here’s what else happened on an action-packed Tuesday night of Holiday Season basketball:
Anthony Davis – Has his typically awesome line of 31/16/2/0/2 with no TO, but only 12-30 shooting and 7-10 FT against the Sixers?!
Terrence Jones – The enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in inconsistency that is Tjones is playing some fairly consistent ball right now! 17/10/3 in 30 bench minutes – no treys or D stats is a bummer and he’s still a 60% FT shooter – but you’re taking what you get right now!
Jahlil Okafor – Continuing to start next to EMBIIIIIID. 11/7/1/0/2 for Oke with Joel Embiid going 11/6/1/1/1 on 4-12 shooting in his 25 minutes at “PF”. Not a fan of the combo, but when you’re against the Pels who have only 1 big man you have to solely focus on, meh…
Nerlens Noel – 7 minutes of love! Aka my come-ons in college… 4/3/0/0/0 on 2-2 shooting. That’s not baby making music right there!
Robert Covington – Only 1 steal the last 4 games, and that’s supposed to be his calling card! 11/8/2/0/2 with 2 treys still works, and most importantly he’s at 31+ minutes the past 6. I bet he’s still around on shallower league wires – he should be must-own with that kind of consistent run.
Nicolas Batum – Wooo, look at that #SwaggyP defense!
23/5/10 (dimebag!) on an uber-efficient 8-12 shooting with 5-5 FT. You can make anything on Nick Young!
Kemba Walker – Not to be outshined by IT2/3 with the “undersized” label, 28/8/10 with 4 treys in the tripdub flirt. Two dimebags, one Hornets!
Marvin Williams – I’ve seen a few comments lately with Starvin’ Marvin available, and he’s turning back into the backend usable asset that I think should be owned in all 12ers. 15/5/2 last night with a trey and no TO. A little boring, the lines might look a little starvin’, but nab Marvin!
Luol Deng – Wow, did not think he was turning back into a 12er asset after his horrific start, but 11/7/1/0/3 last night with a trey in another big run (34 minutes). Like Marvin, will do just enough to stay back end usable at this rate.
Lou Williams – 16/2/8/2/1, and oh so Sweet… Imagine if he was unleashed on like, the Sixers starving for wing play… Oh wait, that kinda happened before!
Larry Nance Jr. – Uggghhhhhh. One of the most fun and explosive up-and-coming players hurt his knee on a non-contact loose ball play, and teammates had to help him to the locker room. Still waiting on the MRI, but hoping there’s nothing more than a strain here.
Jordan Clarkson – I dunno what is happening to his steals – only 3 in the last 10 games – but made up for it last night with the triples! He’s on fire! 25/3/5/1/1 with 7 treys in a huge line. Huge! Yuge! Yuge Gina! I still can’t stop laughing at that… Then Alec Baldwin goes from the great Trump impersonations to some baby CGI movie I just saw the trailer for… ABC! Always. Be. Cashing a check.
Serge Ibaka – Hit a goofy-ass hook off an OREB to put this into OT, then the Magic would end up winning in the 2OT. Too goofy for me to GIF because it looked too much like me playing in the post in pickup… 20/9/2/1/1 with 4 treys, and really coming along strong.
Elfrid Payton – Speaking of coming along, I guess all he needed was to indeed come off the Shelfrid! 22/2/6/1/1 on 8-13 shooting, and going nuts off the bench. Vogel is working his “magic” oh-so-right! Stats aren’t too dissimilar as a starter vs. as a sub, but it’s been better lately as a reserve and there is one big difference – 41.8% shooting as a starter vs. 50% as a sub.
Hassan Whiteside – See, I can do more than catch lobs, DJ! 32/15/0/1/5, in a horrifying 47 minutes though. Not what you wanna see if you’re a Whiteside owner, getting stretched to that much run in a meaningless game and another tough loss…
Josh Richardson – Yuck. 9/4/6/0/0 on 2-12 shooting in a whopping 44 minutes. Where’s the beef?!
Tyler Johnson – TyJo got the beef! That sounded wrong… 32/5/3/3/0 with no TO on an epic 13-20 shooting in his fantastic 38 bench minutes. Maybe the Heat can at least pick up a 6th man award this year!
Jeff Teague – Benefiting with an even more complacent version of Monta Ellis on the wing (Glenn Robinson III), going 17/7/12/1/1 against the Poppycockers. Psssshhh, fine, NY won this one and are still over .500, they can be the Knickerbockers right now!
C.J. Miles – FINALLY! Got some extended run like we saw pre-injury, anddddd… Still kinda blah. 11/7/0/2/0 with 2 treys, but hey, I’m still keeping him as my back pocket ThrAGNOF especially with the 26 minutes we saw last night.
Knicks C rotation – Hahahahahaha. This is so annoying. F it, they’re back to the Poppycockers! We’ve been debating in the comments Kyle O’Quinn (17 minutes of a solid 6/6/1/2/1) vs. the hot hand of Willy Hernangomez (2 minutes of F*%^ THAT!), and it turns out the secret answer of option C, the starter, got the good game this time! Stupid Joakim Noah and his 30 minutes of 11/11/2/0/2. Made 3-4 FT with his eye-gougingly-bad sidewinder shot, but I guess that sold Hornacek to keep playing him…
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson – The Mess invaded Canada and promptly waived their white flag, DNP-resting Brook Lopez for continually no reason. Anyway, weird game with the Mess having big bench performances, like RHJ going 19/6/3/1/1 in 20 minutes, but fouled out.
Spencer Dinwiddie – Got his longest look as a Mess, going 14/4/1 with 3 TO. When you signal defeat before tip, might as well throw all your noodles against the wall.
Norman Powell – Benefited the most from the junk time, playing 27 minutes to DeMarre Carroll‘s 22, even though wing-DMC was hot (17/3/0/2/0 with 3 treys). 21/3/1/5/0 with a trey for Powell, but I don’t think we can welcome him to the party! Other than an outburst at Boston in 36 minutes on a DMC rest day, Powell has scored 26 points in his previous 8 combined.
Kawhi Leonard – Trying to model his FT volume on James Harden, but when going against the Beard last night, emulated him too much! 7 TO?!?!?!?! What in the world, Kawhi?! 21/5/4/5/0 though works just fine, with 11-13 FT.
Patty Mills – Hits the critical Spurs 3 to win it last night, in a perfect microcosm that the Spurs are all about the system…
Eric Gordon – When your 3s don’t fall as a ThrAGNOF, you… Block some shots?! 13/1/4/0/2, with the swats salvaging a 1-8 3PTM game.
LeBron James – The other game that went into extra minutes, the Cavs came out on top thanks to King James going 34/12/7/1/1 with 5 treys. Buck killer!
J.R. Smith – Sounds like he might’ve broken his thumb last night, probably trying to hitch hike over to Jason Terry‘s house since he was at Milwaukee again! Not really much of a fantasy angle here; DeAndre Liggins started the second half, but blah. Maybe Iman Shumpert (33 minutes, 6/4/2/1/0) gets a little more run, but blah times two. Just uptick your big 3 a little.
Kevin Love – Sat with a knee booboo, but doesn’t sound serious.
Giannis Antetokounmpo – So good. 25/13/2/2/3 for a gorgeous rainbow, especially with the 13-15 FT.
Jabari Parker – Didn’t continue on his trend of making perimeter shots, but dropping a 30 burger ain’t bad! 30/9/3/0/0 with no TO, but what’s up with his FT stroke?! 4-7 FT and down to 72.8% on the year on a tough run the past few weeks…
John Henson – Staying fantasy usable! 27 minutes of 14/8/1/2/1 on 5-7 FG and 4-6 FT. 3 TO though is annoying, go-go Gadget stickum!
Malcolm Brogdon – Has a decent little game (6/1/5/1/0), but of his 3 FG, two of them, yes TWO, were NBA’s #1 and #2 top plays last night!
Hah, I feel like he was about an eighth of an inch from getting rim-checked on both of those and making #1 and #2 on Shaqtin-a-Fool! It’s a fine line sometimes…
Kelly Olynyk – 10/3/1/3/2 in 26 solid bench minutes with a trey, but I say they give him the extra dime for the rainbow line – Zach Randolph tried to assist Olynyk’s adam’s apple to the back of his neck on a flagrant 2, I say give it to him!
Troy Daniels – Our favorite ThrAGNOF-of-the-month went 24/2/0/2/0 off the bench in 35 minutes last night with 4 treys, keeping his ThrAGNOF-of-the-month front parking spot. That said, had a bad OT – fumbled a catch 40 feet from the basket, picked up a foul on IT2/3 a little out of control on a drive, and didn’t pick him up on that trey in transition GIFfed above. Good thing chicks dig the long ball, or else it woulda been a long night!
Mike Conley – Nice bounce back after 2 rusty shooting nights coming back from the broken spine, going 19/5/8/2/0 on 6-16 shooting. Still not quite to pre-injury levels, but 36 minutes and gutting through it.
Gordon Hayward – Labradoodle! Labradoodle! Safe word on this game last night! 6/3/2 on 2-10 shooting on a Twilight Zone night for the Jazz, losing by 30 to the Warriors. On a night where the Sixers were the only other team not to go 100+, Utah put up 74. Ugh.
Rodney Hood – Speaking of safe, someone get this guy some fiber! Couldn’t finish the game due to the runs. I already had my puerile diarrhea fun when the Sixers had Norovirus or whatever go around their locker room, so let’s just say I’m happy the camera didn’t catch a skidmark on Hood’s shorts during the game!
Stephen Curry – 25/3/4/3/0 with 4 treys, and those steals coming back up! Just need a little dime and trey binge, and we’ll be right back on the money!
Paul Pierce – Whoa, we actually have fantasy intrigue on the Clippers! And it all starts with… Paul Pierce as your starter for injured Blake Griffin?! Ewwww! 7/1/0/0/0 for The Truth [Hurts You’re Old], with Marreese Speights – everyone’s popular pickup – only going 17 minutes for 10/2/0/0/0 with a pair of treys. The Ace of Speights! More like the 2 of Speights… Yeah, I want nothing here.
J.J. Redick – 27 points on 7 treys. Had a lot of value last year when Blake went down, so should go on a nice run, even if it’s only a golden turd that I’m calling a rich-man’s ThrAGNOF.
Chris Paul – 16/8/15 with 2 treys in the first game of the 16-17 Blakeless era. Should be a fun run.
Gary Harris – This was always going to be a tough game, and with the Nuggets unsurprisingly losing big, Malone ran the reserves down the stretch. 3/2/1/1/0 in this bad game doesn’t have me gloating on the epic Harris debates of December 2016.
Nikola Jokic – Same here, it was always gonna be tough against DJ. 9/6/1/0/1 in 21 minutes is still fine, given this was a catastrophe for Denver.
Emmanuel Mudiay – Speaking of catastrophe, 0-9 shooting with 2 TO?!?!?! Yikes.
Will Barton – Benefited the most (alongside Kenneth Faried who went 15/11 with a steal) with the added reserves run, going 22/5/3/3/0 on 9-15 shooting with 2 treys. Nugs should trade Barton, Gallo, and Wilson for Cousins. They are like a 12er with not enough stars and need to consolidate.
DeMarcus Cousins – With the biggest line of the night, Boogie tore up that #PlumleeD for 55/13/1/1/3 on 17-28 shooting with 5 treys and he made his freebies! 16-17 FT. Cousins initially got ejected at the end for spitting his mouthpiece at the Blazers bench, in a cringe-worthy moment for those of us who champion oral hygiene.
It somehow got reversed and he got a block late to seal it. If I’m a Blazers fan, I’m like, “Wait, of all guys to NOT get ejected for that, you’re gonna keep DeMarcus Friggin’ Cousins in the game?! You’re right, Rodman didn’t kick the cameraman either…”
Garrett Temple – Got moved back to the bench so they could play… Matt Barnes at the starting 3?! Weird rotations, but they worked last night! Temple for 5/3/3/1/1 on only 3 shots in 24 minutes; it’s OK, but this might be at it’s end. Caught by a Temple Guard!
Darren Collison – Mannnnn, this is tough to hold through this dry spell. 10/3/3/0/0 in only 21 minutes, with Ty motherF Lawson getting 29 minutes and going 16/3/8/1/0 with no TO. I’m begrudgingly holding Colly, but I was never a Cousins guy to begin with and could not dislike the Kings more right now…
C.J. McCollum – Tried to keep the Blazers in this one in the high scoring game, but 36/2/4 last night did just enough to tire his legs out to keep Slim from getting a 30-point game tonight for the 30-point challenge… I thought you were avoiding back-to-backs, Slim!
Mason Plumlee – Well, besides getting torched on D, had an epic fantasy line! 27/13/5/1/2 on 10-13 shooting with 7-11 FT. Off a 4/2/5 game and battling inconsistency, you’re just wishing he gets spit-mouthpiece games every night!
Damn, what a night! Might have been the most explosive NBA night on the season thus far. What a fun way to get back into the groove! Shoot your comments below, and I hope you’re having a good Holiday Season thus far, Razzball Nation!