Super Bowl Sunday was a fail across the board. Joe Namath messed up the coin toss. The Red Hot Chili Peppers refuse to wear shirts. The Broncos refused to play football. And the only game we got on the NBA slate to rival the Super Fail was the Magic against the Celtics. A combined 28-68 record heading into the game, but hey, at least no one was wearing this coat! Russell Westbrook now has a wardrobe to makeover… Anywho, it was an electric 27 minutes for Rajon Rondo, who had his best game since returning. 9-11 from the field for a 19/6/10/3/0 slash can get anyone rolling. Well, except maybe the Broncos offense… Hopefully Rondo won a few people their matchups this week and their Sundays weren’t ruined by all that food and beer turning into absolute lethargy like I’m feeling right now. But alas we have fantasy’s best sport to pull us through the soul-sucking quicksand that was the Super Bowl as we grow nearer and nearer the playoffs. Here’s what else I saw this weekend in NBA action:
Nate Robinson - Out for the year with an ACL tear. Even though I’m not a Nate fan, brutal injury and I wish him a healthy recovery by opening night next year. Opens the door for the Virgin! Despite shooting only 7-20, Evan Fournier with back-to-back decent games going 18/6/0/2/0 with three treys Friday night. But as with any virgin, he got a little too excited with the ball at times and shot out 7 turnovers. “I have reserves!” Shut up Jason Biggs… Fournier worth a look in 12-teamers.
Randy Foye - Gets the honorary “what the hey?!” stat of the weekend. 16 assists on Friday?! Preposteroni… A Denver Nuggets treat. 10/3/16/2/0, but also turned it over like a Virgin with 8 and shot 4-13. No Ty Lawson who should be back soon, so I’m still not a big Foye believer.
Terrence Ross - Rainbow line flirt! 18/1/3/2/3 shooting 7-10 on Friday. Ross Can! Ross just needs to hit the boards harder. Work on that pivot foot. PIVOT! (haha nice call miles). Then awful on Saturday. Ross Can’t! I feel like we play this song and dance all the time. No consistency.
RainbLabradOodalipo - Hah probably going too far, but geez! Labradoodle patrol, shut down Oladipo! Only 3-16 from the field for 12/3/5/1/0. Still like the V.O. to not have his line smell like B.O. more often than not.
Jeff Green - The Labradoodle patrol’s second most wanted. 2-13. So brutal.
Jared Sullinger - Coming along! I knew this would be a good one, hopefully I helped a few people stay strong. 21/12/1/0/1 shooting 10-15 and managed to play 39 minutes with only 3 fouls. He’s usually hitting the fowl harder than John Madden face-first into his turducken.
Pau Gasol - Well the elderly like to go to Arizona, so why not bring Gasol to Phoenix! Trade rumors are abound, but don’t make any brash decisions just yet. Gasol would be fine in the desert, just would destroy Miles Plumlee‘s value. Might also actually get Jordan Hill some C minutes in LA. Regardless, Gasol will be out at least a week with a strained groin. I want to make a joke here, but just can’t do it. I just don’t understand how they could get an MRI reading on a groin that hairy… I lied!
Kris Humphries - Like his love life, hit it hard, hit it quick, and then try and disappear before being posterized again. Yeah, not the best metaphor, but sounded good at first!
Lakers Mess of PGs – Steve Nash might finally be back this week, Steve Blake looks locked in to be back this week as well, and Jordan Farmar seems close and will probably be back by next week. Kendall Marshall is like, “C’mon old guys, what’s with these healing powers?!” Might turn into a mess of a situation you want no part of, but still hold Marshall for now if he’s a good connect for your dimebag situation.
Tristan Thompson vs. Andray Blatche - While Slim was playing hula hoop with me, he pulled a Andray Blatche and tweaked his hip. Hooray for durability! And just like TT, I was able to marginally hula yet again, albeit it terribly and without much range. 6/7/1/0/0 for Thompson, but no game for Blatche helps out the bet!
Kemba Walker - His last name is a sad, ironic reminder of the device he needs to get around… Had a setback and I doubt he plays by the Bobcats next game tomorrow. Cue the Ramon Sessions love! A sick 9/4/13 line against the no-defense Lakers on Friday, but only 11/0/1 against the Suns Saturday. Just like Helen Hunt in The Sessions, I think you can give him another ride tomorrow night against the Warriors.
Anderson Varejao - Couldn’t quite Sideshow it up to play Saturday night. Sounds like he was close though. If dropped in your league, easy decision to scoop him back up.
Mike Conley - The curse of JB! Last week at some point I said he was the main rock, the main reliable constant for the Grizz, and he jacks up his ankle Friday night. Wear high tops, Mike! Will be re-evaluated in a week, and opens the door for Nick Calathes who rocked out with his Calathes out on Saturday night for 22/5/3/1/0 shooting 8-12 and 4-5 from deep. That game alone is worth the $1 REL pickup I threw at him! Now, it is important to remember this was against the Bucks who had Larry Drew voluntarily start Nate Wolters. So it’s not like he was playing against any sort of defense out there. But Calathes did get 40 minutes and has four games this week – likely all big minute starts. Anyone looking for a solid weekly grab should give Calathes a long hard look.
Trey Burke - Struggling mightily lately – as I suspected would be the case in stretches when I ranked him so low after loving him before he broke his finger and missed all that development time. Run on sentence police are after me, or are they, I don’t know, they can’t stop me no they can’t! That said, I think he can bounce back and is a solid buy low. Gets my official buy low tramp stamp.
Enes Kanter - Went off in a start against the Clippers for 23/14/1/1/0. While he’s shooting a great % from the floor on top of double-digit scoring the past four, only 4 assists, 1 steal, and no blocks in that time frame and this was the only game he boarded well. Not slamming the wire to pick him up.
Tim Hardaway Jr. - 17/1/1/1/0 shooting 7-14 with three treys. ThrAGNOF!
DeMar DeRozan - Monster on Saturday night for 36/4/12 shooting 14-29 with a couple of threes. Did have a bad late TO, but us fantasy-ers don’t care in the least. Having a beast year. Sorry Fenris-77.
Patrick Patterson – 13/9/3/0/1 with a three and continuing to be marginal multi-cat. Pit-pat with multi-cat!
Patrick Beverley - A close second in the “what the hey?!” category of lines on Saturday night… But for P-Bev, I am not too surprised! 0/10/8/5/1 shooting 0-5 with all 5 missed three-pointers. But hey, played 40+ minutes and racked it up!
Jeremy Lin - Speaking of racking it up, triple-double off the bench?! 15/11/10/2/1 as the Rockets guards just embarrassed Cavs boarders with no Varejao. I mean, they’re starting Tyler Zeller at the 5… Even as a Chapel Hill fan and I scoff at that!
Anthony Davis - 24/8/3/3/6 in another ridiculous rainbow. I would gently comb his brow if he would let me…
I’m sure I didn’t hit on everything, but the Miller Lite and bacon cheeseburger sliders sure are hitting on my stomach and it’s time to hibernate for the rest of winter. Well – until tomorrow that is! I hope everyone won their matchups last week and good luck in week 15!