I thought about naming this post “The Buck Swaps Here,” but then I realized that no one cares about the Bucks. Which means that Monta Ellis is dead to the NBA fan. It was a nice run. We all shared some laughs and we’ll remember the good times. Like that one time Ellis played 44 minutes and took 30 shots. And that other time he played 44 minutes and took 33 shots. Then there was that 39-minute game in which he sank his first three shots and then missed 15 in a row. We’ll miss you Monta. Enjoy discussing Chingy with Ilyasova and pretending to have stuff in common with Drew Gooden. As far as the Bucks go, I don’t think much will change, though I do think they become better in the short term (they haven’t been using the two guys they gave away and just got back one of the three most prolific SGs in the NBA), but I wonder if they’re really pinning their future hopes on Gooden in the future. Maybe that’s where the newly acquired Ekpe Udoh fits in, but fitting in was his problem at Golden State and Golden State doesn’t have a corral of big men performing admirably. He couldn’t outplay Andris Biedrins, he’s not going to outplay Drew Gooden and the last 30 words I just typed have made me dizzy and somewhat nauseated. Mike Dunleavy will see a prominent bump, or, at least a prolonged period of time in which he continues producing like he has. Brandon Jennings will have to adapt (read: pass more, shoot less) or die because Monta WILL GET HIS. Believe that. Over in the Bay Area, the Warriors are tanking the season, making sure they get a top seven seed in next year’s draft. Curry will likely miss more games going forward than not this season, Stephen Jackson has returned to his former home to cut (and by te way, partnering Jax with Curry will no doubt result in me pronouncing his name Ste-fahn instead of Steev-en) into Dorell Wright‘s anemic play and your big trade pickup winner … Klay Thompson. His per36 numbers average out to 17/4/3, with nearly 3 threes a game. He dropped 26 points and 3 threes in 40 minutes last night. He won’t usually see that many minutes or maintain those averages, but we’ll see a nice bump to his 9/2/1.5, 1.5 3ptm average he’s queued up now. 13/3/2, with a pair of threes a game seems about right. He’ll steal some balls and not hurt your percentages. If he ain’t already grabbed. I’d grab him. As far as Andrew Bogut? If a guy ain’t playing, it doesn’t matter what his team colors are.
Nate Robinson – 20/5/11, with 4 steals. Sugar Nate makin’ it sweet in the dog days of the season. I’d grab him if you’ve got the room. The Warriors might have a completely open backcourt for the rest of the season.
Alonzo Gee – 19/5/4, with 4 steals on a night that seemed as if threes and steals were coming in at a buy one-get three free sale.
Daniel Gibson – 19 points and 5 threes. That’s as many threes as he had in his previous six games. There. That should knock you and he down a peg.
Manu Ginobili – He was a gametime decision and the team seemingly decided correctly. 14/3/3, in 23 minutes. He also sank five threes.
Spencer Hawes – Returned last night to punch up five fouls and a few other things not worth mentioning here. It’s been over a month since Hawes played and it looks like it’ll be at least another week before he plays more than 20-25 minutes (19 minutes last night). If you have him, sit on him him. If you need him, pick him up then sit on him. Either way, he should be sat upon. That’s sat Sat. Don’t misread that and do something more foul to him.
Lou Williams – Shot 3-for-11 for 7 points. I blame the peppermint Schnapps. … Because there’s always peppermint Schnapps, that’s why.
George Hill – Returned Tuesday and basically quadrupled starter Darren Collison‘s output (17/7/4, with 2 stl and 3 threes as compared to DarCo’s 4/0/2). Collison is absolutely sinking fantasy rosters right now. You can’t drop him, but if you have better options at PG, why do you need me to tell you to stop using Collison?
Carmelo Anthony – 16/2/7, with 3 threes. You already own ‘Melo, Amar’e and Lin – and you should – but things are perhaps about to change in the Big Apple now that the pick ‘n’ roll limps off into that gentle night right along with Mike D’Antoni’s mustache. ‘Melo will see the ball more, Stoudemire might feel a little less stifled and the brief-but-glorious run of Jeremy Lin is likely to slow. Last night’s whupping against Portland doesn’t count. The Blazers are all kinds of messy and looking to fix it by involving Luke Ridnour in a trade. So they’re clearly ten different kinds of messed up. Still, Lin has returned to Earth in the last few games (averaging .333 from the field, 12/3/7, 5 tov in his last three). I’m counting on the other two stars launching.
Gerald Green – I’m throwing up a “soft buy” for Green. I mean, yeah, this is Gerald Green we’re talking about, so how good can we expect him to be? Still, it’s the second time in three games he’s scored 26 points. And the Nets don’t have a helluva lot else going on. And you’re approaching your league’s playoffs and you’re really in no position to reject hot players, are you? Man, I’m really doing a great job at taking people down a peg this morning.
James Johnson – 16/4/2, with 4 blocks last night to bust his mini-slump. You knew he’d come around. That’s why you drafted him. What’s that? You didn’t draft ‘im. Then I want you off of my property.
Leandro Barbosa – 11/4/2, with a three and a steal. He’s a nice little deep-league add. He’s the Jerryd Bayless you got 13 hours after someone else got Jerryd Bayless.
Reggie Williams – So here’s a fun item. On Tuesday I told you to grab Williams in case Maggette was too hurt to lose Wednesday’s game. Turns out he was not too hurt and played. But the Bobcats were so bad that they got blown out and Williams went 10/4/4, with 3 steals … from the bench … for Charlotte … uphill both ways! So, you’re welcome?
Corey Maggette – Maggette played, but for the second game in a row, you wish he hadn’t. He dropped 10 points and nothing else. Corey has a way of forcing himself into games when he’s not healthy and turning his boo-boos into big-boos. I’d bench him and let him play well at least once before putting him back in. Also is “Cory” or “Corey” the preferred masculine spelling of the name. A friend of mine and I decided it was Cory and I greatly savor the idea of having one more thing to rail against Maggette for.
Chandler Parsons – Parsnip ended with 8/6/7, 2 steals and a block last night. He’s playing well. So is Budinger. This is weird. Many nights, neither of them produce. Those are Adam’s “special drinking nights.” If we could mix ourselves a Chaseler Budsons, we’d be all good.
Courtney Lee – 9/1/1, with 2 threes. I know Speed Racer is still slowed, but Lee is not the he you seek.
Jameer Nelson – Led all scorers in this game with 25 points. Led all shooters in this game with five threes. Led all assisters in this game with seven assists. Led all Nelson’s in this game with one Jameer.
Ben Gordon – Detroit just scored 124 damn points and the purest scorer on the team scored just six points on four shots. I feel dirty. If you’ve got any Cure records, now would be a good time to spin ‘em.
Donte Greene – DNP-CD. Back to the deep bench for his second consecutive game, which means it’s safe to give him the ol’ heave-ho. Oh, you never picked up the ho in the first place. Okay. That’s probably better. Leave the ho then. Also, I’m not sure I’m using the word ho, correctly. It means “reserve forward,” right?
Tyreke Evans – Try, “Weak Evans.” Tweaked his ankle and is questionable for tomorrow’s game. In the meantime, I’m calling him Mildtweak Evans.
Jason Thompson – 21/15/4, as he shot 10-for-12 from the floor. It was easily his best game of the season. If he approaches this line again in the next two games, I’d consider adding him. Now, I’m only considering congratulating him.
Chris Wilcox – Ending his season on account of a tricky ticker. (<– That last blurb was written by my great grandfather Beauregard.)
Randy Foye – I’m done with Randy. 5/2/0 in 19 minutes, while his backup, Mo Williams plays 31 minutes and drops 25 points with 3 threes. Put the coffee down, Randy. Coffee’s for closers.