How do you pronounce Shawne Williams‘ first name? Is he going to add an apostrophe after a few more games like Stoudemire? Make it Shawn’e? Or is it pronounced “Shawn-E?” Weren’t the Shawnee an American Indian tribe wiped out by smallpox in the mid-1800s? And did they call it the smallpox back then? I feel like before the turn of the 20th century diseases were all given respect for being one of a kind. It’s not any ol’ cholera, it’s the cholera. Anyway, it’s great that the NBA has a Native American contingent now. I was nervous that “Chief” Robert Parrish was the closest we were ever gonna get. Anyway, after sitting out the first month of games, Williams has averaged almost 23 minutes in each of his last three along with a line of 13.3/3. Caveat! This is D’Antoni we’re talking about. I thought we were talking about Shawne Williams. Yes, but we were talking about his playing time, which is directly affected by Mike D’Antoni. And since it is he we are talking about, I doubt very much we’ll be talking about Williams two weeks from now. Desperate deep leaguers, go ahead and do what you do. Everyone else, stay on the reservation.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball last night:
Landry Fields – What’s cooler than being cool!?! Landry Fields! 1-for-7 in 29 minutes. (We also would have accepted Jeff Green, who shot 1-for-9, or Andrei Kirilenko, 1-for-10) Fields did grab 10 boards. So at least that’s one feather in your cap. Can’t have too many feathers.
Amar’e Stoudemire – STAT was all, “Give me 39 minutes, I’ll give you my fifth consecutive 34+ point game.” Then he pounded his chest and noogied Ray Felton. Meanwhile Kevin Love played three minutes longer, scored about the same number of points, grabbed three times the rebounds and sank more treys than Danilo Gallinari, but he ain’t say nothing because otherwise someone might have noticed him. We wouldn’t want that.
Darko Milicic – Left the game after only eight minutes (and 10 points, I might add) with a right quad contusion. That’s different than a right quad confusion, where the groom searches for the bride’s garter belt on the wrong leg. Yeah, Darko didn’t do that.
Ed Davis – In his last three games he’s played 17, 18 and 19 minutes and dropped 6/4, 6/8, and 6/7 lines. That kids, is consistency. If he ever manages 30+ mpg a game, you’ll have yourself an efficient double-double machine on your hands.
Darren Collison – Left with seven minutes remaining in a blowout with a lower leg injury. “Whew!” That was Collison’s upper ankle! Honestly, it might be good for Collison to miss a game or two. He hasn’t looked terrible lately, but he still looks confused. Maybe a game or two to catch his breath, take a shvitz, and get ready for the next 3/4 of the season would do him wonders. Maybe not.
Roy Hibbert – 13/6 last night, only averaging five boards in last four. Only speaking in sentence fragments because … saying negative things … about Hibbert …. too … painful.
Marvin Williams – Hurt his knee playing SG and left in the second quarter having shot 0-for-5. He returned in the second half and went 1-for-1. Put away your abacus, we don’t have that kind of time. He went 1-for-6 on the night in 20 minutes. That thumping sound is the death rattle of Williams’ career coming up fast on him.
Maurice Evans – Benched after two games. Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down! Clean cup, clean cup! Move down! Smoove played the three, Horford played the fourford and Jason Collins did some stuff near the basket for, like, 15 minutes. Until he or I figure out what that stuff was, leave him and Evans on waivers.
Andre Miller – Sitting out tonight’s game after being suspended for his part in Sunday’s kerfuffle with the Clippers. Patty Mills is his replacement, but you probably don’t want him to be yours.
Andrew Bogut – Returned to play his 14th game of the season (Milwaukee’s 20th). He played 39 minutes and ended with 11/13 and a trio of blocks. All-in-all his season is going exactly how we all kinda, sorta knew it would. He’s a great piece to have if you have a glut of bigs and only want someone you can play half the time.
Larry Sanders – 10/6/2 blks in 29 minutes. This counts as a “good Larry Sanders game.”
Dwyane Wade – Grabbed a career-high in rebounds to go along with his 25 points, five dimes, block and half-dozen turnovers. Ugh. It’s like the artist sneezed before painting the final stroke.
Carlos Arroyo – Matt Barnes did it. Pau Gasol did it. Steve Nash did it two nights ago. Did they all mail their Christmas cards? No. See Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman kiss in “The Black Swan?” No. Text in their vote for “Dancing With the Stars?” No. That show’s been over for a week. Man, you are really bad at this. I was unprepared! No one told me I’d be quizzed. What did they all do? They all shot perfect from the field and from the line. Arroyo went 6-for-6 and 4-for-4 respectively.
Carlos Boozer – If you labeled him hot in his third game back Saturday, might as well call him hotter after last night’s 29/12 dagger to the Thunder. Welcome back, Hotter.
C.J. Miles – Hit that magical 25 minute mark. Benchslapped! And why wouldn’t you have been? He’s completely unpredictable. In fact, that’s what the C and J stand for: “Completely Unpredictable.” But Unpredictable doesn’t start with a ‘J.’ Exactly.
Paul Millsap – 7/7. He started the season with four double-doubles in his first six games. He’s had one in his last 16. Skillsapped?
Eric Bledsoe – Maintained his spot in the starting roster, used it to drop a 15/3/3 line. His best since November 15. Shrewd move, young Bledsoe. You won this time, but you will meet Baron Davis again. I assure you.
Pooh Jeter – Played 17 minutes. Had 11/4/2. Don’t judge. What was so great about your Monday night?
Omri Casspi – 21/10 in 34 minutes off the bench. The Sacramento bench outscored the starters 53-38. You might say it’s because this game was a blowout by the end of the third. I’d say it’s because Paul Westphal’s starting lineup is as irrational as electing the Tourette’s sufferer as a Sotheby’s auctioneer.