Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be ThrAGNOF! Full disclosure – I had to look up this song from that movie about a weird looking ginger chick and it’s about coming of age or something. No, not Teeth! Last night, an injury-ravaged, de-taloned Pelicans went out and shocked the Clippers. Kevin Hart, apparently a big Clippers fan, got to travel with LA on a Ride Along I’m guessing. When Jamal Crawford upchucked a three at the buzzer for the win, that arced so high it might’ve hit the Cowboys Stadium scoreboard, Hart started crying when it barely hit rim and got angrier than his little cameo in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Anyway – Anthony Morrow was a big factor in the upset win, going full-ThrAGNOF 27/5/0/0/1 with two treys. Scoring is the name of his game! Always a high-volume shooter, Morrow just has never stuck in a big role as he doesn’t do anything else. Dude, if he was on a D’Antoni Lakers team, he might break the NBA! With Brian Roberts with a bruised knee, Eric Gordon with an absence of knees, and Austin Rivers with the sniffies, the Pels were without three of their bigger remaining scorers. Looking ahead to tomorrow, the Pelicans get a beignet of a matchup against the former New Orleans Jazz and all three could miss again. So if you need some treys and a little scoring upside in the deeper leagues, it’s that time of year when the scrubs will come out tomorrow! Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:
Pau Gasol - Missing at least the next two games with vertigo.
Chris Kaman - Makes him an interesting stream tonight. Fear the bald beard!
Goran Dragic - Is an absolute beast. 25/7/6 with three treys shooting 11-17. I think season 5 of Game of Thrones should CGI him instead of the dragons.
Eric Bledose - 23/6/7. Eerily similar. I can’t wait for the game where both triple double.
Al Jefferson – 35/15/1 for Big Al, shooting 15-27. Mason Plumlee: welcome to the NBA! If the Bobcats play the Heat in the playoffs with how it’s set right now, Big Al might tear the Heat a new one.
Mirza Teletovic - A true-blood ThrAGNOF performance! 6-12 FG (6-12 3PTM 4-4 FT) 22/3/0/0/0. But you can’t even trust him enough to ThrAGNOF…
Jared Sullinger - Yeah boi! Been a mini-lull, but a huge 26/8/1/1/2 last night with no TOs and four treys. 31 minutes as well, the third time he’s topped 30 in the past five. If he fits into your line-up where you need him, I obviously say go for it. I’ve been a Sully Freedom Fighter.
Jeff Green - I actually did it. Dropped him myself in a league where I almost did a few times, but never ended up pulling the trigger. 6/2/0/0/1 shooting 3-9 in 20 horrible minutes where Sullinger looked so much better. What has happened to Green this year?!
Rajon Rondo - Apparently Rondo coming back has not helped Green’s touches at all… 9/4/15/2/0 and anyone that sat on him is loving it nowadays. But hopefully you don’t sit on his head! Needed 9 stitches, but should be fine. Snitches get stitches!
Jonas Valanciunas - Well this was an improvement, but the Celts don’t have a real C. It’s been a while since I’ve tuned in to the Raptors, so maybe he is actually looking Luminescent again…
Terrence Ross - Rossssssssss can! 24/4/2/1/0 and on a tad of an upswing. Hit 5 treys giving him 9 in the past two games. Smells a little ThrAGNOFy, but I like it! Beef StrogaThrAGNOFF!
Dion Waiters - Game winner! Too bad that doesn’t count as a fantasy stat… 18/4/4/0/1 with 0-6 from downtown. But he is must-own right now – ready for the monthly stat of the day!? Waiters Asts by month Oct-Mar: 2.0, 2.4, 2.6, 2.8, 3.0, 4.3. To say it’s consistently going up with a big hike in March would be an understatement! Enjoying a little extra rock with no Kyrie Irving lately.
Jarrett Jack - Ugh. 17 Pts and a couple of treys are fine, but 17/2/1/0/0? Who is this, Nick Young?! Whaaaaaaaa, I’m Jarrett Jack!
Anderson Varejao - Did I undersell Sideshow a little? Maybe. 12/16/0/1/0. The 31 minutes was the most surprising though. Spencer Hawes down to 24. This was kinda the mess everyone hoped wouldn’t happen when Hawes got traded, and is finally ending up happening.
Will Bynum - Well, there goes that streak. Only 7 minutes while the 2-10 shooting Rodney Stuckey got 32, to kill Bynum’s 4 straight of 9+ assists.
Alexis Ajinca - Looked fine out there. That’s how I hit on 7’2 Frenchman. Not much to get excited about, but some bottom of the barrel dub/dub potential after 14/11 last night.
Anthony Davis - Shot a terrible 5-19, but yet another epic rainbow more than makes up for it. 16/13/4/2/6. RainBrow!
Al-Farouq Aminu - He’s a great athlete, don’t get me wrong, but not buying it. 8/10/6/1/1 was pretty nice, but he’s played this song and dance too many times. I will say though, mildly interested the next game or two with all the injuries.
Luke Babbitt - I had to mention this: I made this highlight and laughed my tooshie off. Watch how Babbitt makes a pretty good pass there to Ajinca to slam it home, then Ajinca gets tons of dap from three of his teammates that were on the floor. Where’d Babbitt go?! No one likes poor ol’ Luke Babbitt…
Jamal Crawford - Took an absurd 15 threes. Made 7 of em which is pretty good, but as I hit on in the open, took a terrible one to end the game. 31/1/2/1/0 and worth owning again after getting 35 minutes and looking like he’s back.
Chris Paul - Brickhouse! Shot 0-12. Where’d that come from! Ratio killing isn’t supposed to be part of CP3′s game!
Dwayne Wade - Hamstring cramp. Your hand hovering over the Wade drop button is getting a cramp.
Jeff Teague - Only 19 minutes, getting benched most of the second half. Tough one to take on the chin, but at least you get a game from him tomorrow to rebound.
Pero Antic - Of course I used my final move for the week in RCL, and Antic sprains an ankle. I don’t know if it’s the same ankle he broke, but he got dem bad ankles. If he’s not active tonight, cuttable in all formats since that was pretty much the only reason I was holding – for the Thursday game. Poop.
Gorgui Dieng - Gorgui Apparatus! 15/15/2/1/1 and might win some people their titles this year. What a find out of nowhere, I remember seeing him earlier in the season and he looked not ready at all. Quick learner! I think the Wachowski Brothers (siblings?) plugged him up to the Matrix learning machine. “I know double-double!” “Show me!”
Ricky Rubio - Salvaged another bad shooting night, on top of getting stitches, to go 4/1/10/6/0. After the game, he said he only played through it because it was the fantasy playoffs and it would disappoint JB otherwise. That’s fear baby!
Danny Green - Hit 5 treys, did little else, played only 17 minutes. Going to get an X-ray on his foot, this after a wrist issue, and Gregg Popovich is masturbating to all the possible ways he can bench him now.
Tim Duncan - Rainbow! Huge game from T-Dunk for 29/13/5/2/2. Just cross your fingers you get as many games outta him as you can.
Timofey Mozgov - Whoa, look at the 7’2 dude stroking the trey! Effing hilarious. It’s like a giraffe playing beer pong. 14/11/0/1/2 with a trey is pretty Putin-ish.
Aaron Brooks - Hmmm. Led the Nugs in shots (18), dimes (8) for 25/5/8/0/0. Hit four treys, and kinda the only reason the Nugs hung onto this game. Didn’t have a single TO. Not buying in too hard, but in the Jarrett Jack range of treys/Pts/dimes upside in streams right now. Kinda has to be, but I’d still rather start Jack most likely…
Raymond Felton - 5/7/10. Right after handing out a dimebag he’s gonna get some killer munchies.
DeMarcus Cousins - Super rainbow! 32/15/8/2/2. The Kings really should be a lot better with IT2/Cuz/Gay as a core. Then again, Isaiah Thomas was out with a bad quad. Delivering too many pizzas! Crappy time to miss his first game…
Travis Outlaw - I lied, THIS was the ultimate ThrAGNOF! 15/0/0/0/0 with two treys. I applaud, well done sir, well done. To not log any other stats in 27 minutes is phenomenal.
Memphis Grizzlies - Sometimes when you play against the Jazz it feels like you’re playing in mud, then the Grizzlies play slow on top of it. Slower than The Aviator. This game was a yawnfest, which helps out Zach Randolph the most. And indeed!
Derrick Favors - I think since the blocks didn’t come like we hoped, he’s been easy to ignore for some great multi-catness. Multi-Katniss Everdeen! 22/10/1/2/2 shooting 10-16 is about as hot as JLaw.
Next Game: Got Clips at Mavs tonight. Should be a lot of fantasy goodness to go around, so be sure to grab your streamers, maximize your line-ups tonight, and good luck!