Okay, so you saw GrizzMaster Gay shoot a pair of free throws, clutch his shoulder and leave the game for good on Tuesday. You went to bed worried that your team’s second-best player was done for the year. You dreamed about it. Remember? Of course not. No one ever remembers their dreams. Something about a dragon? Something about Beyoncé and a bank robbery? Plus my ninth grade chemistry teacher was there. And Rudy Gay. Rudy Gay was in your dream robbing banks with your chemistry teacher. What does that mean? It means dude is out until mid-March. Why is Mr. Durnanski out for a month? Not your chemistry teacher, bro. Rudy. He’ll miss at least a month with a subluxation of the left shoulder. Which is fancy-speak for a partial dislocation. So with Gay dislocated to the bench until the thaw, that leaves Memphis with Tony Allen and Sam Young. Two players that are meh backups on most teams in this league. But even mehs can become men if given enough minutes. Young was starting even before Gay’s injury in place of either O.J. Mayo or Xavier Henry, depending on who you hate less, and has averaged nearly 37 mpg this month. That was the good news. I say ‘was’ because the good news is over. In those 37 minutes, he averaged just under 15/4/2 with good percentages. He’s not going up. He won’t play more minutes and even if he adds some of Gay’s touches (hehe, “gay touches”) his percentages are more likely to go down than the counting stats going up. He’s not a terrible add, but he’s only a 12.4 PER. He’s not fully developed. Tony Allen, on the other hand, is. He’s a slightly above-average 16.7 PER only averaging 25 mpg this month and a 10/2/1 line with a great 2.1 spg average this month. Unlike Young, he is more likely to go up, play more minutes, surpass Young’s output. I’d guess somewhere around 16/5/2, with a ton of steals and at least one block every other game. Mayo will return soon and may or may not still be with the Grizzlies. And if he remains with the Grizzlies, he may or may not still suck on the Grizzlies. Darrell Aurthur will see some extra ticks, but really, Allen is your first pickup. Then Young. Sweet dreams.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball last night:
Andrea Bargnani – Dropped 38 points on 15-for-26 shooting. He’s averaging 25 ppg in February after not cracking 22 in any other month. February is far and away Bargs’ most efficient and high-scoring month over his career (he’s inspired by black history). If history tells us anything, it’s that he’s in for a huge dropoff next month.
Amir Johnson – Shot poorly, but ended with 5/13/3, with two steals and a quintet of blocks. Ed Davis ended with 8/13/0, and two steals. I’d prefer Johnson, but it’s close. Hey, if the Raps can’t provide any compelling competition outwardly, at least there’s a nice battle for minutes going on internally at the four-spot.
Mo Williams – Picked up two quick fouls in the first quarter and was never seen again. Presumably because the Cavs were trying to defeat the Lakers and Mo Williams was not.
Ramon Sessions – Scored his points and all of Williams’ too. He ended with 32 points and eight assists and may be forcing Williams into an O.J. Mayo situation. Getting punched in the eye by Tony Allen? Well … I mean, yeah. But I as referring to getting benched due to poor play. Oh.
Darren Collison – Ended with 6/2/9, with three tovs and five fouls in 35 minutes of an overtime game. I mentioned several months ago that I was surprised Chris Paul‘s tutelage of young Collison last season isn’t mentioned more often when Collison’s disappointing season is discussed this year. I mean, Collison is playing better than a 21st overall pick is expected to play, but if you look at his splits, his best ball happened during the two stretches that Paul was hurt last season. I remember those games. Every timeout, Paul was in his ear, pointing this way, motioning that way, learning the young guard. Who’s doing that on the Pacers? T.J. Ford? I hope not. DarCo has certainly shown flashes of that guy who started 37 games for the Hornets last year, but never for long. What I’m trying to say is, Chris Paul is an unbelievable basketball player even when he’s wearing street clothes and Collison might not be as good as we all hoped he’d be.
Josh McRoberts – 15/12/3 in 31 Jeff Foster-less minutes. Also, I’ll be writing about a few Joshes further on down the page. Is it weird to anyone else how many damn players named Josh the NBA has?
Brandon Bass – Started for the first time this month, played 33 minutes and earned his third double-double of the season (15/11). Ryan Anderson ended with 14/8. I had to mention one, because I mentioned the other. That’s the problem.
Martell Webster – Played 40 ineffectual minutes. Ended with 11/2/1 as he started in place of Wes Johnson, who was starting place of Michael Beasley. Who, let’s be honest, was starting because the Wolves can’t hope to attract anyone better.
Jonny Flynn – Sat out with fatigue. Kahn thinks he’s come down with a case of the vapors. Rambis thinks it was his reoccurring spells come a-calling again. Ridnour thinks he’s just a weak pussy.
Nick Young – Missed the game with a knee (to diagnose injuries like 90 percent of football commentators). He should return all spiffed up after the All-Star Break. Andray Blatche, on the other hand, will likely return all spliffed up.
Chris Kaman – Returned after a couple months off, played almost 10 minutes and ended with 4/6 and three blocks. This looks much better when you compare it to DeAndre Jordan, who played three times longer and ended with 4/8 and four blocks.
Rodrigue Beaubois – Speaking of comebacks, Rod Goodwood played almost 21 minutes and ended with 13/1/6 and three steals. Honestly, that’s about the best owners could have hoped for, especially considering that J.J. Barea not only played after being ruled out with influenza, but double-doubled in 21 minutes off the bench (10/11). Caveat! All this came against the Kings.
Jermaine Taylor – Started in place of Luther Head, who started in place of Tyreke Evans a game before him. Taylor ended with 17/3/5, with 4 steals and a block. This will forever be known as “The Game of Jermaine Taylor’s Life.”
Stephen Curry – 4/0/4 in 22 minutes. This was not his worst game of the season. This blurb is dedicated to the smartypants that took him with one of their first five picks. I wouldn’t pick Blake Griffin with my fifth pick and I think we can all agree Griffin’s a better lock next year than Curry was this year.
John Salmons – Scored 33 points last night. It’s February. You were warned.
Ersan Ilyasova – Still recovering from his eye socket wound. Which, incidentally, is the coolest of all wounds.
Willie Green – People keep telling me to pay attention to Willie Green. He scored 24 points last night, 12, 8, 24, and 19 in the four games before it. Meh. He’s good for threes and above-average points. Still, stop telling me about Willie Green.
LaMarcus Aldridge – Dropped 34/7/4 last night and is averaging 29/8/3 this month. If LMA demanded to sleep with my girlfriend, I’m not sure I would get in his way.
John Wall – 27/5/1, with two steals, a block and a .588 FG%. He’s been surprisingly under-the-radar (compared to where he was to start the season) and much of that has to do with the fact that his team blows, he’s shooting .405 from the field and he started the season with off-and-on injuries. Still, the kid is averaging 15/4/9, and is in the top 10 in steals. His per36 averages are better than Rondo, Jennings, and on par with Chris Paul in their rookie seasons. I’m targeting the hell out of the guy next year. Assuming there’s a next year.
Josh Howard – Shot 1-for-10 from the field. Don’t worry, he’s rusty. You should expect several more of these games. Then, eventually, he’ll work his way up to 4-for-10 from the field.
Josh Smith – Let’s stay with the Josh theme and play, “Stop Friggin’ Shooting Threes, Josh Smith!” Ready? Round 1: Smith was 36-for-96 (.375) from behind the arc between October and February 1. No need to stop shooting threes, Josh Smith! Okay good. Fine. Let’s move on to Round 2: Smith went 0-for-3 from the arc last night and is 4-for-19 (.211) so far this month. Stop friggin’ shooting threes, Josh Smith! And that was another fantastic episode of “Stop Friggin’ Shooting Threes, Josh Smith!”
Jamal Crawford – Shot 3-for-10 last night and .357 over his last seven.
Wilson Chandler – Averaged 12/4/1 coming into this game in February, ended with a 20/5/0 line with solid shooting. How dare Denver start renegotiating with New Jersey!
Amar’e Stoudemire – Went from averaging 30/9.5 in December to averaging 24/7 in February. I dunno about you, but February Amar’e feels like the real Amar’e to me.
Andrew Bynum – Bryant was off, Odom was off, but Bynum shot 2-for-12 from the field, which is made all the more atrocious when you consider his “field’ is no more than eight feet away from the rim.
Spencer Hawes – 17/10 … against the Rockets. The tiny, tiny Rockets.
Andre Iguodala – Tripled-doubled for the first time since March 7, 2007. I would have wagered your grandma that he’s triple-doubled at least once every season.