Newspapers used to have evening editions, so rub some black ink on your fingers and let’s pretend it’s the old days. Razzball has to break out a special edition to celebrate Robin Lopez, who played 33 minutes and scored 18 points on 8-12 shooting, with 13 rebounds (4 offensive), 2 assists, 3 blocks. What, no three? He had a superb game, but the preseason is full of stories that never make it past the pilot. He had the starting gig at Center, though, with Anthony Davis (22 points, 9 rebounds (3 offensive), 1 block) starting the game as a Power Forward. What you need to know about Lopez: he’s 24, it looks like his pubic hair climbed up his body and landed on his chin, and he has never played more than 20 MPG over four seasons. However, with starter’s numbers, he could probably do 15/10 with 1.5-2.0 blocks per game. Like a contact lens, it’s worth keeping an eye on.
Chris Kaman – The Kaman Islands had a nice day, going 5-10 (5-8 from the free point line), 15 points, 10 boards (3 offensive), and 1 block.
O.J. Mayo – He had the opposite day, going 0-7 with 1 point. Greivas Vasquez only had one point, but he at least provided 11 assists.
Darren Collison – If you like assists but are willing to trade some in for more points, Darren had your back: 14 points, 4 assists.
Larry Sanders – He played nearly 17 minutes off the bench, had 8 rebounds (4 on each end), 10 points, and he signed a Season 2 DVD of his show for Beno Udrih, who banged his head on Sanders’ knee and left the game.
Monta Ellis – In my head, I keep wanting to say Ellis is returning from something. It’s more like, it seems as if he had a problem adjusting to the Bucks. He sees fine right now, going 5-12, including 2-4 from downtown, for 15 points with 5 assists.
CJ Miles – Solid game from Cee Jay, 6-13, including 4-7 with the three point ball, 18 points, 1 assist, 3 rebounds.
Kyrie Irving – It seems he recovered from his kinetosis, going 5-11 for 16 points, along with 5 boards and 3 assists.
Jerome Jordan – Only played 13 1/2 minutes for the Grizz, but managed 13 points on 5 of 7 shooting with 5 rebounds and a block.
Zach Randolph – Let’s play duck, duck, goose: 7 boards, 2 assists, 1 block, 8 points. The 8 points is the goose, and by goose I mean the goose that craps all over the park and then kids step in it and usually you laugh but obviously you don’t want to step in it yourself once the regular season starts. Sorry, analogies are like pies, you eat them and then poop later.
Byron Mullens – Played 28 minutes, produced 14 points, 6 rebounds, 2 blocks, annnnd that’s it. Still, though, he led his team in those three categories. Give this man a gold star sticker.