Week 4, we hardly knew ye! The season is in full swing, and doubtless there are some owners who are wringing their hands, fretting over the loss of either Rose or M Gasol, or to a lesser extent, Eric B. Cause he ain’t no joke! Please tell me there are some original hip hop fans out there who are old enough to get that reference. But I digress: We all know that injuries are a part of the games, we know that, but if you’re like me, I hate the smug S.O.B. in the league who spouts that line when it isn’t his cornerstone player going down for half or all the season. And speaking of smug S.O.B.’s lets check in with our fearless fantasy warriors this week:
JB’s Random Commenter League. You can’t start with anyone higher on the Smug index than Your Mom Says Hi, who took week 4 with momma back breaking 8-1 ass smacking over Dunkin’ Donuts. That smarts. But the overall leader isn’t afraid of a little ass smacking, because Baby got Back is currently in first, with a 28-7-1 record over Moms and Handsome Lads. JB Gilpin tried to make some moves, trading 4 players to get 3, and still finished going 1-7 to Baby. Little in the middle but she got much back!
All Country Ball Club. There was a lot of parity in this week for the ball clubbers. 3 matches ended in 7-2, with Moskow Spartakers, Wrong Side of 30, and Polskie Murarze as the victors. This strong week left Moskow in first place. Hey Moskow, if you have any pull, tell AK47 to do something with that hair! Not that it matters to me, of course! (sexual orientation is a bit of a touchy subject over there right now, I’m told).
JB’s Random Commenter League 2. The boss, JB Gilpin – Human, won a week! Atta boy JB, you squeaked one out, with a total of 5-4, narrowly besting Slippery Squirrels. That’s gotta smart, Squirrels, that’s like losing to Utah! Yeeesh. Oh yeah, and there were 2 weekly winners, Carmelo me Maybe, and Crono’s Crazy Team, with a score of 7-2, defeating Hobo Head Lice, and Mamba Juice, respectively. Love all those names, just a little confused by Cronos, who is currently the league leader, with a score of 23-13. Is this name a homage to Kronos, the titan who sired Zeus? Is the subtext here that Greeks love basketball? Yeah, lets go with that.
Razzball League 3 the Ringers. Man, 7-2 was the order of the week! Another 3 team week 4 tie for winner, with Appalachians, Drunk on Homebrew, and Champagnezees all winning their week with the soup du jour score, beating Whatup Whoadie, Green Steet Elite, and The New Day Co-Op all on the losing end, respectively. I predict that Drunk will live to regret his trade to Beeeenga, with Drunk sending Jonas Valanciunas for George Hill. Bah! I wish I could curse in Lithuanian right now! Google has left me with: Kalytė Perkelti sūnus!, which means: Golly, you may regret that!
Razzball Hardwood Classic. What’s that you say? You like the soup du Jour? Well great news! we have 2 more orders right here, with Foot’s Flight Crew and Mayo Clinic both winning week 4 with a score of 7-2, with Chump Change and BKcantHANDLtheTRUTH taking the losses, respectively. This puts Foot firmly up top, with a commanding 28-8 lead.
The Double Bonus Fan League. Dude. This obsession with soup is weird. You can have this last double serving, and then never ask for soup again. Draft Dodgers and Knicks Bricks are the 7-2 winners, beating Havana Raftriders and Spencer‘s Super Team. No trades make Jack a dull boy, people! Swap em up!
Another wonderful week in the books. May your Meniscus stay intact, much like your hymen. Enjoy your Bird, and Shopping Frenzy!