This one’s for the douchebags, as Kanye might say after playing the theme to ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ for a seemingly endless amount of time. Sometimes fantasy basketball can’t be all pigtails and pillowfights. Sometimes to win your league you gotta get a little dirty. Please, blog, may I have some more?

For those of you in leagues that limit the number of games each position is allowed to play over the course of a season (usually it’s limited to 82 games per position), you’ve no doubt sweated over your games played pace at some point already. Please, blog, may I have some more?

So you’ve made it through the first week of fantasy basketball and came out the other side not only covered in mucus, but also likely one of two types of fantasy hoopsters: Either the type that wants to wait a few weeks to see what kind of lineup you drafted before making any changes, or the type that dropped three players 90 seconds after the draft was over. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Auction drafting: my favorite time of the year. You can keep your Sweetest Day and your Arbor Day. Give me auction draft day. It’s the only time where friends and strangers alike converge in one place and sweat it out uncomfortably all afternoon. Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve had a couple requests lately for a post about draft pairings through the first two rounds. I planned on publishing 1,500 words on the value of calling Shaquille O’Neal the “Big Shamrock” instead of  “Ordeal O’Neal,” but it occurred to me that 1,470 of those words would probably be unprintable. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Imagine Woody Allen arriving on-stage at the Academy Awards (“Zoinks, he never comes to these award shows! What a get!”) three minutes past the time the broadcast was scheduled to end to present the final award for Best Sound Effects Editing to “G.I. Please, blog, may I have some more?