With a dazzling 17 points, 13 rebounds, 7 assists, 1 steal and 1 block, Nicolas Batum showed why he is the darling of the fantasy community. He also seems to be out of his recent “funk,” averaging 19 1/2 points, 10 boards and 1 1/2 blocks in the past 2 games. He joined rookie Damian Lillard (24 points, 3 rebounds, 9 assists and an unfortunate 1-8 from three point land) and stud LaMarcus Aldridge (25 points, 13 rebounds, 5 dimes and 3 blocks) in leading inconsistent Portland over sadder Charlotte.
Blake Griffin – He shot for 30 points (and even hit 2-3 from the free throw line) with 11 rebounds, an assist and a steal. It’s a season high in points, and also pretty awesome.
Jamal Crawford – He took 7 shots from behind the arc and clunked 5 of them, but he still finished with 20 points, 4 assists and a steal.
Caron Butler – Sloppy night overall with 5 points, 1 board, 1 dime and 2 steals. Caron, you saucy hussy!
Maurice Williams – Mo Williams, thou hast given thine team 12 assists, and asked for nothing in return. Lo, 20 points shall be your reward.
Mickael Pietrus – New reality show idea: Trading Spaces with Petraeus and Pietrus. Pietrus takes his crappy FG% (1-5 on the night, 0.286 on the season) and applies it towards the CIA’s drone strike accuracy. Meanwhile, David Petraeus sleeps with a courtside reporter.
Jonas Valanciunas – He started, played 23 minutes, and finished with 7 points, 4 rebounds, 2 steals, and assist and 3 blocks. The blocks are the only thing keeping him rostered anywhere.
Corey Brewer – Steals are basically the rarest of basketball stats, besides the triple triple, so hats off for 4 steals. Okay, it’s not THAT exciting, but combine that with 19 points and 5 rebounds and you have a little summin’ summin’.
JaVale McGee – 17 points, 6 rebounds, an assist and 5 blocks? Why did Serge Ibaka kill JaVale McGee and wear his flesh as a skin suit?
Andre Iguodala – In 33 1/2 minutes, he scored 4 points and tallied 2 rebounds, 8 assists, and 2 steals. Since when did AI Part Deux become a one stat player? Obviously, it’s a season low in scoring for him.
John Henson – He and Marquis Daniels both got the start for the Bucks and combined for 32 minutes, 5 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 block and 4 points. That’s not even a good line for one player.
Jose Calderon – He is down to 4 points and 5 assists. I weep for you, J.C. I thought you were the reason for the season. *whispers* I believed in you.
Mike Dunleavy – Back in action for 6 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists and a steal. Annnnd…hm. It seems he is DLO: Deep Leagues Only.
Larry Sanders – He may have fallen out of favor in some circles, but he thought he was on the volleyball court last night with 7 blocks (8 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals, and 1 assist). Hey Lar, the Olympics are long over (<- true)!
Robin Lopez – With 23 minutes (as the starter, naturally), he shot for 21 points but only had 4 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 steals and 1 block. Less shooting, more rebounding, please! Or both. Do both.
Greivis Vasquez – Had 9 assists and 11 points and has not had less than 6 assists all year. If sharing is caring, Vasquez kisses you on your forehead before tucking you in at night.
Tristan Thompson – In 32 1/2 minutes, grabbed 11 boards, blocked 2 shots, scored 10 points, and did his online bill paying.
Anderson Varejao – 17 points, 18 rebounds, 3 steals, 2 assists, 1 block as he replicates the album cover to Uprising by Bob Marley & The Wailers.
Charlie Villanueva – I guess the resurgence is over: 2 points, 1 block in less than 13 minutes.
Kyle Singler – Meanwhile, the rise of Singler continues as he went for 15 points, a block, an assist, 6 rebounds and 3-6 from downtown.
Ben Gordon – Lest anyone forget about him, he led his team with 29 points and passed the 10,000 career mark. If your roto league goes by decade instead of season, this is good news.
Kemba Walker – Nailed 22 points and tallied 7 assists, 5 rebounds and 3 steals.
Nikola Vucevic – I am kicking myself repeatedly for dropping him over the weekend as he went for 14 points, 15 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals and 2 blocks. Waiver claim, don’t fail me now!
J.J. Redick – He had 22 points (4-6 from deep), 5 rebounds, and 7 assists. I know teams like to have a strong bench, but why is Maurice Harkless (2/5/2) starting over Re: Dick?
Klay Thompson – He, uh, managed 8 points (2-6 from downtown), 2 rebounds, and 4 assists. He has been a colossal disappointment all season. I don’t want to say he’s let his family down, but he has.