Tracy McGrady Will be a Piston for either a year or until his legs detach from his body and Tayshaun Prince clubs him over the head with them. What? The Celtics ran out of room on their roster for old all-stars with Irish-sounding names? The Pistons have said they won’t trade Prince unless he asks to be traded. That makes the McGrady signing about as passive-aggressive as giving the class clown the best seat in the room and then giving the kid with uncontrollable gas the seat right next to him. Oh, please, stay. Get comfortable. Foomf! Oh, don’t mind Larry. If there was any doubt before that the Pistons are as busted as the area south of 8 Mile Road, consider the fact that Detroit will replace the 6-foot-9, 215 pound Prince with the similarly skinny McGrady, despite already having a beanpole backing up Prince. And that guy? The 6-foot-11, 200 pound Austin Daye. Where’s he gonna go? Yeah, the Pistons are considering giving him burn at SG. Foomf is right.
Rasheed Wallace Officially exited the NBA like the Pope governs the Holy See: bought out, waived and retired. Or, in the Pope’s case: brought out, waves and admired.
Danny Granger Dislocated his right ring finger, but shouldn’t miss any time after the World Championships unless an examination shows Granger’s situation to be worse than expected. But, really, nothing could be worse than a situation in which T.J. Ford is your starting PG.
Rodrigue Beaubois Out 2-3 months with a broken left foot. If you’re like me than you’ve already a) moved Rod Goodwood down several draft rounds to the dregs of rounds 11-15, b) polished off that box of cranberry tortes your grandmother left for you after her visit, and c) feel ashamed and bloated. I know, it’s not so fun being like me, is it? Don’t forget about Rowdy Roddy, but he’s going to be hard to draft if he can’t even start doing drills until the second week of the season.
Al Horford The Hawks say he’s going to get more burn at PF this season. Which is bad news for Marvin Williams who will be left incapacitated and bench-ridden. I doubt Horford will even give Marv the time of day for a while after the switch. But it turns out okay in the end because Zaza Pachulia will need some pointers on how to be a starter in this league and somehow that will all bring everyone together or something. Actually, I think that’s the general plot of “Marvin’s Room.” On another note, how weird is it that Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro have starred in two movies together and neither of them were directed by Martin Scorsese?