Can I has Triple Doublez? Man watching Kevin Love is fun. I think he should enter the NFL draft. Deep outlets like these, plus he’s almost 7 feet and would never get a pass deflected at the line! I can just picture Kevin Costner and Denis Leary debating over it with the Browns first round pick. “I’m not taking some bearded seven foot douchebag when I’ve got Johnny Football and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Green!” Eh, was going for a Leary-ism there, it’s hard to type it… Huge night for Love, going 24/16/10/1/1 with two treys and continually adding millions to his next contract. All after a report a few days ago that he was “exhausted” after a couple of non-Love-ish games. Unloved games? Something like that. He’ll be one of the biggest stories to follow in the offseason, but he’s pretty much a shoe-in top-5 pick. In Basketball Monster, he’s #3 in overall value and #4 per game. He’s stayed durable and has been beastly. Godly. I kinda wanna get a Love bobblehead and put it in my locker and serve him rum. Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy hoops:
Anthony Davis – Ruh roh. Hurt his back Wednesday morning, said he was fine, but only got through 10:30 and couldn’t play in the second half. I raise my brow on this. He’s their future, the Pelicans have no future for 13-14, hard to imagine he plays tomorrow. But you gotta hold even in H2H Finals week. It’s likely you have a full line-up tomorrow, so you can just bench him if he’s out and fill your line-up over the weekend.
Kenneth Faried – Manimal! 34/13/2/0/3 and really an underrated second half. Pre All-Star 10.4/7.6/1/0.7/1 and post All Star 18.8/9.3/1.6/1.3/0.8. The minutes hike helps too, but FG% went up over a point and he fixed a dreadful FT% from 58.8 to 71.7. I’m not going to call him a sleeper next year, but I think he’ll be a good value when people see not much of a change in his season numbers.
Aaron Brooks – WHO IS LETTING THEIR SHOTS GET BLOCKED BY AARON BROOKS! Whoa, easy All-Caps-O-Saur. 24/3/1/2/2 with six triples and nearly a rainbow. The Nugs put up 137 with Brooks being hot. No this team is not being coached by George Karl again…
Greg Monroe – Also having a big post-ASB run. The bad % players around him have rubbed off on him, but other than a FG% dropping is up 3 Pts, 2 Rebs and half a swat.
Paul George – See, I can mention the elite games too! 27/13/7/2/0 with four treys was incredible, but I haven’t heard from the George people in forever. I guess that rut he and the Pacers went in cost them their internet trolling time.
Brooklyn Nets – If I had the supercomputer from WarGames I would try and figure out the last time this happened, but not a single player topped 5 in any counting stats besides points/FGM/FTM. So under 5 3PTM, Reb, Ast, Stls, Blks, TOs. Nuts! Spreading the minutes and output thin, Kidd!
Kyrie Irving – He back! Got 28 minutes and I thought looked just fine. 17/6/8/1/0 would tell you that too. Shot 7-8 as well. It helped the Magic D might as well have been pillars of salt, but hey, glad Kyrie is back.
Dion Waiters – Still ThrAGNOFfy, but looked good. Coming around a little on him. Is there really that big a difference between Waiters and Klay Thompson? And I bet their ADP will be like 60 apart next year.
Tristan Thompson – The league’s best PF! In a week or two we have to settle up Slim. I think it’s going to be close. 20/11/0/2/1 from TT shooting 6-10 with 8-8 FT. The Magic D sucks, but can’t play D on free throws! So you know he was a little more locked in than usual there…
Kyle O’Quinn – Got into some very early foul trouble, but it wasn’t like he was going to play much more than 18 minutes anyway. Still productive with a 8/5/2/0/3 line. The Block of the Irish!
Cody Zeller – Started for Josh McRoberts for 9/8/7/0/1 in 29 minutes. But you can’t evaluate that at all. It was against the worst basketball team ever assembled. Larry Drew is like, “Hah, take that Philly!”
Henry Sims – A pseudo-bounceback going 15/6/2/1/0. If anything, he’s actually one of the most consistent fringe-ownable guys out there. Still a fan.
Jared Sullinger – Woo Sully! Another game leading the Celtics in minutes and shots. 25/4/1/1/0 with a couple of treys doesn’t scream fantasy value, but Jeff Green was awful (shocker!) and Sully is the only offense who showed up.
Drew Gooden - I told you to bench him, Slim! 2/2/1/0/1 in 18 minutes, and with Nene close to taking a few minutes as well, no more use there from one of the weirdest late-season contributions I’ve seen in a while. What’s next, Cherokee Parks gets a 10-day?!
Omer Asik – Like I said yesterday, I think a rich man’s-Reggie Evans remains apt. 9/13/0/1/0, shot 3-6 FT and looks like a baby giraffe learning how to walk. Wow, that’s mean. A fat baby giraffe.
Jeremy Lin – Should be owned in all leagues, as this was slightly better than meh. 16/1/7/2/1 despite shooting like poo. I would say the bad FG% part of his line has something to do with his armor, but don’t wanna get in trouble…
Terrence Jones – Man, I hope you were able to avoid. Only 10 minutes before leaving with “lingering tightness”. Kevin McHale and his PF usage have left us all with “lingering homicidal thoughts”.
Amir Johnson – Got a sore ankle and left after three minutes. As the immortal Jeff Goldblum once sermoned, “that’s a big pile of shit.”
Greivis Vasquez – 40 minutes filling in for the injured Kyle Lowry. Told everyone Lowry would get hurt! “Um, too late JB…” 15/4/8 for Vasquez with all four FGM treys. Eh, decent fill in if he gets another start.
Taj Gibson – Can I has rainbowz?! 10/7/2/2/2. Noishe.
Jeff Teague – Bookending his season with hotness. Kindof like my dating life. 21/2/8 with three treys. He’ll be an interesting guy to rank next year.
Paul Millsap – Will be less interesting to rank. Because I’m gonna be highhhhhhhh! And I won’t be like Afroman, I won’t have to figure out why. 22/11/3/2/1.
Zaza Pachulia – 16 rebounds. In only 25 minutes. He’s played like a slightly better Omer Asik.
Chris Andersen – Multi-blocks in six of seven now. The swatman flyeth!
Jermaine O’Neal – Pre-game they said they would monitor his minutes. He got 5. That’s pretty mother-f monitored!
Draymond Green – Another multi-cat solidness! 32 minutes of 8/8/4/0/2. Keeping it under the radar. #OccupyDraymondGreen!
Harrison Barnes – You know the kid, ya know, when you were 5 and playing tee ball that would sit down in the outfield and play with the grass? That’s kinda like Barnes’ game. 35 minutes as a starter and 11/2/0/1/0?! Sheesh-ka-Bobby Brown!
Marreese Speights – The ace of Speights! 22/9/0/1/0 in 30 minutes since no other bigs are healthy/not a monitored O’Neal. Never met a mid-range shot he doesn’t love either.
Blake Griffin – Was able to play! I thought his back would keep him out a bit. Noishe!
Darren Collison – Been a pretty unsung hero lately. 23/3/5/3/1 with a couple of treys. Jamal Crawford will be out again tonight, so loving some Colly in this pivotal two-game only night.
Ray McCallum – Man, what a run! 27/4/5 sooting 12-22. Unfortunately for next year, he’s just too small to play the 2, so he’s only gonna be able to give IT2 backup minutes.
Chris Kaman – Haha D’Antoni. “Right calf strain” for Kaman. Well done, D’Antoni. Well done.
Jordan Hill – 18/15/0/0/4. We all know the level of trust you can have in any of these guys. Kinda like the level of trust Hill gives to his barber. “Ummm, give me something… different.” Next thing you know he walks out in pigtails.
Next Game: TNT OT twice in a week! SAS @ OKC in one of the better games I think you’ll see all year. So be sure to check in if you wanna see a few of my little highlight marks, then normal Yahoo highlights for DAL @ LAC. Literally watching every second of NBA action tonight. Hah! May your title bids remain strong Razzball Nation!