Kemba Walker started for Charlotte and tallied 10 points, 7 assists and a three pointer in 23:26. Eh, you know, not bad. This is what James Redacted wrote for Tuesday’s post, “Even if you needed any more reasons to drop [D.J. Augustin], he is being moved to the bench in favor of Kemba Walker. Now when he puts up atrocious stat lines, he will have an excuse.” So what did Augustin do off the bench? He played 24:34 and put up 18 points, 7 assists, and 2 threes. What the?! Damn you, Augustin, you played us all for a fool! At least Walker got a steal. Is Augustin motivated to play harder now that he’s not starting? How do I know, I’m not a psychologist. What I do know is I’m still going to favor the guy starting the games than the guy who scored 21 total points over a six game span at the end of March.
Jameer Nelson – 27 points, 5 assists, 2 threes. That’s what he did on Sunday, anyway. He didn’t play Tuesday due to some heretofore unknown ailment. Well, ain’t that a cowpie in your sandwich (<– down home folksy expression I just made up (probably)).
Jose Calderon – The good: 11 assists, 3 steals. The bad: 0-2 FG, 0-2 3PT, only 1 point. The ugly: his face.
Byron Mullens – On the night, 20 points and 14 rebounds with 2 blocks in 32+ minutes. In his last game, he went 20/9 with 2 blocks in 40+ minutes. On March 26th, he played 32+ minutes and notched 18/7 with 2 blocks. If I can expect him to play at least a half hour per game, he is a must own. The question is, do the Bobcats play him? I mean, it’s not like they have anything else going on, right?
Glen Davis – 31 points on 11-22 shooting with 10 boards, 3 dimes, a block and a three. On Sunday, 18/16/0 with a steal and a block. I like April Glen Davis, I like him very much. I don’t own him, mind you, but he is meriting consideration.
Ben Gordon – He took his sore groin and scored. Impressive. Oh, wait, he scored 18 points with 7 assists, 6 rebounds and 2 steals. That’s still impressive. I should start tweaking my groin. You know, more often.
Greg Monroe – Tell me, do you like when your center gives you 22/11/3 with a steal and a block? Well? Answer me! I’m hurting you? You wanna see what hurts, that’s what hurts! NOTE: angry letters should be sent to Razzball, Inc., Complaints Department, Fantasy Sports Corporate Plaza, 123 Main St., Walla Walla,WA 99362.
Patty Mills – He (she?) led the team with 20 points off the bench. He now has 27 on the season.
Alonzo Gee – He went 2-4 (0-1 behind the arc) in 29:41. Final line: 4/5/4. He was in Josh Vitale’s Buy/Sell under “Sell.” Also acceptable would be cut, drop, and dismiss.
Iman Shumpert – Started with the offensively explosive Carmelo Anthony (39 points), so naturally Shumpert had zero assists. And 5 points. In over 37 minutes. Sometimes the Knicks make me want to cry.
J.R Smith – Came off the bench and produced 11/9/4. I would be comfortable owning him, but it is illegal thanks to Abraham Lincoln.
Nate Robinson – The 21st Century’s Spudd Webb came off the bench with 18 points and 6 assists. He’s averaging 8.0 PPG and 6.2 APG over the past two weeks, so I suppose he’s worth rostering.
Mike Conley – He had a nice game (18/5/2, 7-11 including 3-4 from downtown), but I’d like to see more assists given what he had been doing.
Gilbert Arenas – 10/3/2, no steals. Well, that wasn’t appetizing. Speaking of unappetizing…
O.J. Mayo – 19 points, .500 shooting, 4-6 from downtown. Oh, no, that is scrumptious. I meant his name makes me nauseous. It reminds me of that old rugby player, Sauerkraut Cheesecake.
Channing Frye – Missed 7 from downtown. Dude, why? You have scored 2 of your last 22 attempts. It’s time to take a break.
DeMarcus Cousins – Double-Doubled in points & rebounds for his sixth time in eight games. Please don’t judge me because I love Cousins from Mobile, Alabama.