Oh man, it’s been a grueling season for a few of my fantasy teams. I’m like Oliver Twist out there. “Please, sir, give me some fantasy-more!” But it’s always nice seeing one of my boys go out there and have himself a career weekend, like Mike Scott who put up 20 on Friday then a career-high 30 on Saturday. #EmojiTats! In 30 minutes (he scored a 30 for 30) shot 11-14 including 6-7 from deep. Somebody step out on this guy! Reminds me of when the old UNCW coach would keep our hapless defense in zone when the opps were hitting threes. I remember when you were against us, Kent Bazemore! Oh man, I gootta elaborate more on that… Anyway, Scott went 30/8 with no other stats so it was a major-ThrAGNOF! And remember, ThrAGNOF isn’t derogatory unless it’s one of those high-ranked guys. Looking at you Klay Thompson. Scott got the start for Paul Millsap whose knee is all syrupy, and Scott could pick up another start or two early this week. Why you don’t need to draft threes! Grab your kilt, prep your best Mel Gibson, and ride with your fellow Scott against the Longshanks. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops:
Draymond Green - #OccupyDraymondGreen! “Sheesh, stop it with the hashtags, JB!” Back when I said he needed to be added in substantially more leagues, he was 1% and now he’s 3%! Slowly building up our Green-equality. Green is a MUST-START today. I’m 2.5/3 in must-starts so far this year, and ready to get 3.5. 18/10/2/3/0 yesterday (plus was averaging 2 blocks per the previous 6 games) and David Lee isn’t traveling with the team tonight. Sure he shot 5-16, but only can go up from there – he’s not Gordon Hayward! The Warriors are going against an inept Pistons defense and Green is going to get huge minutes. Already scooped him up in RCLs and strongly recommend you do the same.
Victor Oladipo - Sure he’s not consistent, but oh man! If Friday night didn’t give you a RainbOladipboner, then I don’t know what will! Gashed the Knicks for 30/9/14/2/0 with a pair of treys and perfect 6-6 FT. Didn’t follow up huge, but 11/4/2/5/0 with another 2 treys yesterday. My RainbOladipboner has lasted over 4 hours; calling my doctor immediately.
Jonas Valanciunas - I think it was the very first game after I called him a drop in most leagues late last week, he goes 18/8/1/0/2. Thank god I was watching this game! Because JV looked slow, out of shape – I think he’s hitting his critical mass. Don’t forget he was hurt a lot of last year with a broken finger, so this might be his proverbial rookie wall, just coming on late. “Why were his stats so good then, moron?!” Shut up, hater! I have two words for you. Tyler. Zeller. Dude, Nicolas Cage in a bear suit woulda been better defense. Zeller is awwwwwful. Then to hammer in my thoughts after watching that game, JV for 7/9/1/0/0 against the Magic yesterday, and somehow had 6 mother trucking TOs. The last time a big man had 6 turnovers in only 28 minutes it was Louie Anderson at the Sizzler. Which is about what JV looks like out there on an NBA court.
Raymond Felton - Despite what he may be on a “real” NBA level (and seriously, that made me laugh non-stop. But how dare he call Khris Middleton a horse face!), dude had a killer weekend fantasy-wise. 15/4/8/1/2 then 16/5/10/1/0 with only 2 TOs in each with 3 total treys. Owning Felton is like eating his diet. You may feel awful about it, but is soooooooooo good. Well, mediocre good…
Kent Bazemore - Pride of ODU in the CAA vs. my UNCW! Acronyms baby. When I was court side in the student section, I was with a friend of mine who’s last name is Bazemore. Kent didn’t stand out at all, and if you told me he would be starting for the Lakers in a few years, I woulda thought you spiked my contraband Coca-Cola with absinthe! 17/0/1/2/0 in his first start after a 15/3/4/2/0 2 trey line in his debut. I watched that game against the Celtics and he looked solid. Doh-toni cog! I think even 14-teamers might be able to give him a whirl for Pts/Stls as Nick Young gets re-integrated in the rotation with the bum knee.
Jason Collins - A real under-the-radar signing by the Nets.
Nene - Nene is to MRI as humans are to breathing. I win the SATs! A non-contact injury, and as they say, “All work and no contact makes Nene a DNP-act.”
Goran Dragic - Career-high 35 to bust out of a mini-slump. The way he’s been playing, I’m suprised it was even a season-high!
Thomas Robinson - Me on Thursday “If you were a reader last year, you know I love Thomas Robinson. ”Why can’t I quit you!” Still, T-Rob got 23 minutes for 10/9. In deep leagues where you can make a move, he will bring ya somethin’ in the L.A. absence.” Me today: “Ohhh, JB, you’ve done it good! You good looker, you…” 14/18/2/0/2 shooting 6-13 (2-2 FT) and no TOs. Got a few more games where he should get good run with no LaMarcus Aldridge. Turns out I was right to love T-Rob! Better a year late than never!
Patrick Beverley - The Razzball fav coming alive! 20/3/3/3/0 and a game-winner.
Terrence Jones - A lot of dump TJones question the past week, and I’ve been saying hold firm in most instances. Finally bounced back for 15/7/0/1/1 shooting 7-10. Huge? No not really, but I think this can be a generally average TJones game here on out. Not as hot as when he came on, but lukewarm and better than the lately ice-cold.
Chris Kaman - El Burro, you around? Need another Lakers rant! Kaman goes for a huge run, goes back to the bench – fine – plays down the stretch against the Celtics to solidify a win with a 7-9 FG 16/8/3/0/0 line, then back to only 19 minutes yesterday for 8/4 in yet another Lakers loss. Wiggin’ out for Wiggins! Haven’t used that one in a while!
Evan Fournier - The Virgin! Getting in on some action last night! 27/4/5/1/1, but what I really, really like to see is 4-5 3PTM alongside 7-8 FT. Driving and stepping back! Keep em on their toes like that, and you won’t be a Virgin for long, if ya catch what I’m preachin’!
Randy Foye - Just hassssss to keep producing I guess. Yikes. That said, 27/6/0/0/1 with 6 treys is back to pretty ThrAGNOFfy to me. Back to playing the 2, and still no Ty Lawson. The former will stay the same, the latter not so much. And then plummet!
Aaron Brooks - Started at PG. 9/2/8/2/0 is pretty decent, but Lawson sounds like he’s close. Not burning a pickup here unless in the deepest of leagues.
Tobias Harris - There’s just something about the trade deadline! And no Glen Davis clogging the middle like a diabetic’s artery… Season-high 28 for a 28/6/2/2/0 line and a trey. A good chance he goes on a nice run, with the situation mirroring last year.
Arron Afflalo - Rolled his ankle on Raymond Felton’s kankle. No Afflalo is going to help Harris in the short-term as well. Afflalo isn’t traveling for the next Magic game and I bet will be out a few more.
Amir Johnson - Got “kicked” in the ankle? Get the dude some high-tops! Day-to-day.
Spencer Hawes - Another solid game in his 2nd in Cleveland red, going 16/12/4/0/1 with a trey. I still think Anderson Varejao will be back soon-ish and make Hawes a very fringe-worthy guy. Sell high if you can!
Mario Chalmers - No LeBron James sure helped, but 12/1/9/2/1 with a trey is the kind of goodness we were seein’! Slim and JB to the fantasy rescue with Chalmers love. There needs to be some sort of “BLAM!” like the old-school Batman show.
D.J. Augustin - 0-10. “Hey Mr. DJ, turn the labradoodles down!”
Matt Barnes – 24/7/1/2/0 with 6 treys. That’s eye-poppingly, retinal tearingly good! “Wow JB. Not funny.” Owned in 7% of Yahoo leagues and is hot hot hot right now with no J.J. Redick. For reference, Harrison Barnes is owned in 53% of leagues. I’d rather older brother Matty, and readdress later if need be. And it’s not even that close.
I hope everyone was triumphant in their week 17! Twas a busy weekend, so shoot your thoughts on anyone else below and let’s all cheer on Byron Mullens to a big week!