Asbestos was reportedly raining down from the heavens in Madison Square Garden’s attic and forcing the Magic to miss its second game in a month due to postponement. If that’s not bad jeux-jeux, I don’t know what is. Wait. No, I do. Asbestos in the attic of your stadium! Asbestos? Das worstos. I expect these shenanigans up in Toronto. It’s like the Wild West up there with their asbestos, but New York? There’s nothing good that can come from this (unless you own Lamar Odom and Rudy Gay in your H2H league and are playing the guy with Dwight Howard and Gallinari on his team! Eastern Conference suckas!). They’ve yet to reschedule the game, but you can bet it’ll take place whenever your best fantasy asset from either team is hurt, so it won’t matter to you any way. Gee, durn asbestos.
Anyway, here’s what else went down in stadiums that have their shizz together:
Baron Davis – Probably won’t play tonight. Probably will still be fat and lethargic if he does. If you’ve got a bench spot open, grab Eric Bledsoe. If you don’t have a spot open, pay attention to what happens tonight and decide whether Bledsoe is compelling enough to drop some other shmoo tomorrow.
Michael Beasley – Fell to the floor hip-first and was helped into the locker room by the trainer and Darko Milicic. I had no idea the lengths that team would go through to get Milicic away from the court. Way to take one for the team, B-Easy. If the third-year forward misses any time, go ahead and get your Wesley Johnson-picking finger ready. Might as well start warming it up now.
James Jones – He’s averaging 3.6 threes in 27 mpg. This is not a fluke (mostly). You were willing to spend a 9-12th round pick on Mike Miller for this exact reason, why not do it for Super J?
Mo Williams – Returned from a groin injury to show the Cavs who’s boss, then shot 4-for-12 from the field in 24 reserve minutes. For the Cavaliers, that counts as boss.
J.J. Hickson – Dropped 31 points in 32 minutes. That’s just hunky-dunky, but 5.5 rbds over four games is the statistical equivalent of living in Cleveland. Meh. Don’t tell me I’m missing the point. Mo Williams only played 24 minutes and Antawn Jamison is injured – 31 points won’t happen every night. Six rebounds a night, sadly, might.
John Wall – Three career games, 31 assists. The Elias Sports Bureau might tell you that Wall tied an NBA record for assists by a rookie in his first three games. They would then gather in the break room for lunch to discuss which adhesive binds broken eyeglasses best. Little John also did a lot of robbing the rich Tuesday, nabbing nine steals. He also turned eight over to the poor. Oo-de-lally. Golly what a day.
Jrue Holiday – First dub-dub of the season, third of his career. Breathe easy.
Louis Williams – Thirty points, half of which occurred during a career-high 15-of-17 free throws. Got 32 minutes of burn, which wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t on fire. Pick him up. Yes, you. Yes, now.
Austin Daye – 16/5 in a little under 27 minutes. Very clever John Kuester to alopecia-bait Daye into performing well. Way to play on his deep-seeded hatred of all things hairless.
Tracy McGrady – Played nearly eight minutes before leaving the game due to his sore kn– ah, to hell with it. You stopped reading 10 words ago. In case you stuck around, bad knee or not, it’s weird that a player with 17,500+ points has only two on seven shots in 45 minutes this season.
Rajon Rondo – Okay Razzballers (Razzballists? Razzballistas?) which average drops first? Rondo’s 17 assists per game, James Jones’ 3.5 treys per game or Reggie Evans‘ 16 rebounds per game?
Stephen Curry – He’ll likely keep his booted foot off the hardwood tonight and perhaps through the weekend. If it means that’s the only time he’ll miss, you’ll take it and like it.
Nicolas Batum – In his last three games he’s averaging 5/2.3/0.8 and is shooting 1-for-8 behind the arc. I guess the “h” he lost in his name stood for “hutzpah.”
Armon Johnson – 10/5 including two treys in 21 minutes. He’s being heavily utilized in his limited time on the court (30 USG%). After playing only 17 minutes in the first three games, he’s played 33 in the last two. If he starts getting 22-26 minutes, he’ll be worth a grab in deep leagues.
LaMarcus Aldridge -His five blocks last night brings his season average up to 1.6. If this keeps up and I can convince Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel to kiss in my presence, I’ll have no more dreams left to dream.
John Salmons – He made just 2-of-11 shots Tuesday and is shooting 11-of-41 so far this season. That’s some cooooo-oold salmon.
Rudy Gay – I’m gonna say this and I’m gonna stick by it until I have reason not to (non statement!) but Gay is absolutely earning his new contract. His PER is above 24 and he’s averaging 24/7/3. I hated typing that as much as you hated reading it.
Matt Barnes – 16/14 in just under 25 minutes. Keep moving. Nothin’ to see here.
Lamar Odom – You cannot stop Lamar Odom, you can only hope to contain him. Memphis could not contain him.
Pau Gasol – 21/13/5 in 29 minutes. This was his third-lowest Game Score (GmSc) of the four games he’s played this season. There are fewer than a dozen people who are looking forward to Andrew Bynum’s healthy return. Marc Gasol is one of them.