Derrick Rose finally returned to the court against the Knickerbockers Sunday after missing 12 games with a groin injury. That is the longest period of time someone has been incapacitated by a groin-related issue since the summer when the 13-year-old me discovered a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. In his return, he dropped a line of 29/6/4/1/1 and a quartet of threes. Now you must be thinking, “That looks like a snazzy stat line, so what’s with the gloomy title, bro?” First off, don’t call me bro, bro. Secondly, just like with women, you have to look past the beautiful exterior if you truly want to find the issues. What you didn’t see in that sexy stat line was the fact that Rose shot just 30 percent from the field, turned the ball over eight times, and cost the Bulls the game by missing back-to-back free throws. This was obviously due to being sidelined for so long, and it will probably take him a couple games to shake off the rust (side note: How did “shake off the rust” ever catch on? Rust never shakes off. Dust, on the other hand, does shake off rather easily. I am going to use “shake off the dust” to describe a player slowly returning from a long injury from now on. This message has been brought to you by the “shake off the dust” Ad Campaign 2012). The big news here is that Rose played 39 minutes and didn’t tweak his groin. Chicago will want him to get up to full speed before the playoffs start, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him missing much time down the stretch. If you managed to survive/make the playoffs without Rose on your roster, well your team just got that much stronger. If you are like me and lost in the first rounds of one of your leagues because of Rose, then I will see you at the pub later and we can cry on each other’s shoulders. Here’s what else went down on the hardwood Sunday:
Carmelo Anthony – Did a great job of not passing the ball Sunday, finishing with 43 points when no other Knick scored more than 15. He continues to try and make up ground for all of the popularity he lost during Linsanity. After the game he was spotted outside of MSG selling his own counterfeit jerseys for $10.
Iman Shumpert – Was that other player who scored 15 points in that game against the Bulls. He has been starting at the point and logging huge minutes because Baron Davis is just flat-out bad. Shump’s scoring can be inconsistent because Carmelo Anthony never learned how to share in kindergarten, but he will give you some dimes, threes, and those tasty steals if you pick him up.
Jrue Holiday – Had 13 points and just one assist Sunday. Hold on, *adjusts ear piece* what’s that? He collected 13 points and just one assist over two games?! That’s it, I’m done with this guy. He doesn’t get to the line enough to ever become a solid scorer, and he isn’t giving you much else even if he could score more. It is playoff time folks, it is time to have productive players in your lineup and to boot the ones who aren’t helping. I wouldn’t drop Holiday for just anyone, but if there is a hot player on waivers, then I wouldn’t stop ya.
Spencer Hawes – Only played 14 minutes against the Celts after having his minutes restriction lifted. Must be opposite day in Philadelphia.
Nikola Vucevic – Racked a 14-point, 13-board dub-dub after scoring zero points over his last four games. Before you rush to the waiver-wire, let me add that most of this performance came in garbage time, which was basically the whole game.
Alonzo Gee – Geesus had himself a game on this Easter Sunday, finishing with a line of 22/11/5/1. He resurrected from his recent cold spell, and could begin to heat up.
Lester Hudson – Lester who? Instead of giving away foam fingers to the first 5,000 fans, the Cavs have been letting the first 10 fans who show up at the arena to play for them that night. First it was Donald Sloan (6 points, 14 assists), now this Hudson guy comes and drops 23 points on Friday and 26 points on Sunday. I have an idea, why don’t the Cavs just bring everybody up from their D-League before the season starts, maybe they will actually make the playoffs for once.
Gerald Wallace – Crash crashed and burned Sunday, going down with hamstring injury. Didn’t look like it would cost him the season, but it could be one of those pesky “day-to-day” deals where he doesn’t play but clogs up your roster (I’m looking at you, Derrick Rose!).
Gerald Green – Who needs Gerald Wallace when the Nets have this Gerald! Green dropped 32 points and five treys Sunday, and has scored 20 or more points in four of his last eight games. You should give him the green light, John Legend.
Kris Humphries – Scored 16 points and grabbed 11 boards to complete the double-double. Still not as nice as Kim Kardashian’s double-bubble.
Courtney Lee – Had a line of 25/2/2/4 and a trio of threes. There is no word on Kevin Martin’s return date, and it is looking more and more likely he will be done for the regular season. In the meantime, Lee should be an inconsistent, yet useful player down the stretch.
Marcus Camby – It had been looking like the Cam man had become the Rockets go-to center, but after only playing 12 minutes Sunday, it looks like we are going to have a carousel of him, Patrick Patterson, and Samuel Dalembert. Sweet, why don’t you all just render each other useless?
Terrence Williams – Has been getting some extra run with Marcus Thornton sidelined. Tonight he had a line of 21/8/1/1 and a trey in 33 minutes. We all know he can be a fantasy force if he gets playing time, and the Kings will likely give him a good look for the rest of the season.
Dwayne Wade – didn’t play Sunday because of an “ankle injury.” The real reason he missed the game was because he knew that the Heat didn’t need him to beat down on the Pistons, so he just took a day off.
Shane Battier – Started in place of D-Wade, and finished with a line of 4/5/5, or a point shy of a triple-cinco.
Derrick Favors – P-Milly was battling an illness (probably from being so ill on the court), so Favors saw some extra time and finished with a 14-point, 12-rebound dub-dub. He is a solid deep league addition, but his playing time is too inconsistent for my taste in standard leagues.
Toronto Raptors – Just had to point how embarrassing their roster is right now. First off, they have Aaron Gray and some dude named Alan Anderson in their starting lineup. They are also playing guys like Ben Uzoh, Jamaal Magliore who is only playing professional basketball because the Raptors want a native Canadian on the team, and Justin Dentmon who I believe is some sort of pokemon. The worst part is, none of those guys are remotely fantasy relevant.