I’ve got a great idea for a horror movie. This giant dude with a disheveled afro walks into various fast-food franchises and just stomps on everyone and gives them sub-90 sanitation grades. We’ll call it, “Andrew Bynum: Franchise Killer!” Dum, domp, dumb! Aka, the sounds Bynum makes when he talks. Oh man, Cleveland hasn’t been this happy since the Cavs beat LeBron and the Heat a couple years ago in Cleveland. And all this does for Bynum is get him moved to another team so he can be waived for a salary dump. I wish I dumped salary! No not celery! Anyway, the Bulls shipped off Luol Deng in their own celery dump (too many Chicago dogs) to Cleveland, while receiving some draft picks in full rebuild mode. Hey, if they don’t make the playoffs then no one has to berate Derrick Rose about his knee! What was Rose thinking saying he might try to come back… I’ve never been a big Deng fan, perils of being in tar heel country, and moving to a team with a lot of shooters (Kyrie Irving) and ball hogs (Kyrie Irving), I think Deng’s fantasy value takes a hit. Sure Deng still played well with a healthy Rose, but it’s just not a situation where I see Deng being as solid a fantasy guy with C.J. Miles and Dion Waiters also shoot first guys on the wing. And you can kiss the 7 boards a game goodbye with Tristan Thompson and Anderson Varejao pullin’ em down. I wouldn’t panic and give Deng away, but that’s just my take. Here’s what else I saw from last night in fantasy basketball:
Mike Dunleavy – Should be your starter at the 3 tonight. Deep league ThrAGNOF rejoice!
Tony Snell – A big winner in last night’s trade. I’ve talked about liking his game multiple times, and with the Bulls officially in a rebuild, look for him to get expanded minutes.
C.J. Miles – I took a gander at the NBA’s most-points allowed list, and man, Philadelphia is nearly seven points (!) a game the worst – giving up 111.1 per – than #29 Sacramento giving up 104.5 points a contest. That’s some unreal bad defense. Mike D’Antoni and the Lakers at 28th are like, “See, told ya we D up!” Just food for thought heading into tonight’s game (and spot-starting the rest of the way), where I’m not positive but would posit Deng wouldn’t play yet, meaning another big run for the 8% owned Miles. 19/8 and 21/6 the past two games, and will need to play well again to keep his share of nice minutes. Against that ridiculously bad Sixers D, worth a spot start tonight if you’re a streamboat.
Corey Brewer – Speaking of Philly’s terrible D, did you see the Saints over the weekend?! Philly burn! Haha, I kid Philly fans, but your Sixers gave up 126 to the Wolves last night, helping Brewer stay on his hot run of double-digit scoring in 5 of the last 6 and multi steals in 4 of 5. Shooting better lately, hitting threes, if you need the treys and swipes, Brewer is your bartender.
Ricky Rubio – Another blowout, another sub-30 minute game. Third time that’s happened in the past 6. Break up the Timberwolves! A 4/3/8/1/0 game while shooting his typical 2-8. I was wrong that his shot/scoring would marginally develop this year. Certainly no one expected career-lows in both. Mas frio.
James Anderson – Man, only one block away from an out-of-nowhere rainbow line for my REL team last night! Woulda be pre-PAAAAAAAA-sterous! It’s been a bumpy road, but he’s actually been more multi-cat than you’d think, in obviously smaller minutes though. Be sure he’s owned in your deep leagues. Still banking on a Michael Carter-Williams shutdown that should give Mr. Anderson some nice games down the stretch. “My name is Neo!”
Pero Antic – Got into foul trouble last night, but still had a decent 8/3/0/1/0 line with 2 treys. Decent, as in if you need a deep-league C. In shallow leagues that’s very indecent. Like Miley at a Music Video awards ceremony.
Deron Williams – Another day, another twerked ankle. Luckily this one isn’t as severe and won’t hurt your team like a wrecking ball. But owning Williams has been like taking too much molly. His ankles sing to him and are like, “we can’t stop… spraining.” I am less of a man for these…
Andray Blatche – I’ve been a little flippy-floppy, but right before he left with that four-game absence, I had given up and kept picking other options in commenter decisions. With Brook Lopez out, I think Blatche got a little overrated. Now, I didn’t see last night’s game, but Blatche racked up 4 fouls in only 12 minutes for an abysmal 3/1/0/1/1 line. He really hasn’t had a good game in 3 weeks. I think he’s a pass in most 12-teamers. Slim – Blatche or your boy Tristan T?
Kevin Garnett – 10 rebounds?! The world is frozen over! No literally, US and Canada are frozen over right now, no connection with Garnett…
Mirza Teletovic – When you’re KG and only scoring 4 points, it’s obviously because of the offensive juggernaut coming off the bench behind ya! 6-12 (4-9 3PTM) for 16/3/0/0/0. ThrAGNOF!
Paul Pierce – Rainbow line! 9/4/3/2/3 and been great the past two weeks. Party like you’re playin’ with Antoine Walker! Rap title idea…
RainbOladipo – Almost got his namesake! 22/8/5/1/1 in 26 fantastic bench minutes shooting 8-15 and 3-4 from deep. It’s like seeing Benjamin Button go from old/great producer, to young senile/under-utilized off the bench, but then back to old. Given this game was out of hand early, Oldadipo is good to go back in your line-ups.
Maurice Harkless – Now this one, you can totally chalk up to the game getting out of control. 32 minutes out of nowhere for 22/6/1/2/0. Nothing to see here.
Nikola Vucevic – Just can’t buy a break. Misses time with a twerked ankle then gets a concussion last night. Probably misses a couple of games.
DeAndre Jordan – Almost trip-dubbed the hard way! 14/17/0/0/8. Pretty awesome.
Nicolas Batum – Going to play with a cast on his middle finger for up to 6 weeks. Every time he waves to the refs it’s gonna look like he’s Mr. Bean. If he has a bad game the first day he wears this thing, I think he could be a good buy low. Don’t expect much of a change to come out of this.
C.J. McCollum – Should make his NBA debut off the bench for the Blazers sometime tonight. I haven’t seen him play much, but he’s gotten rave reviews and El Burro loves him. Worth keeping an eye on.
Next Game: I’ve got a thriller with Golden State heading to Milwaukee. Hah. Actually pretty pumped though since I own Brandon Knight on a lot of teams. I hope everyone had a decent start to their week, and if you live virtually anywhere in the US or Canada, stay warm today!