With reports of declining mathematical skills across the globe (minus Asia right lol racism), allow Razzball to sharpen your abilities with this challenge. Corey Maggette plays basketball. On Tuesday night, he averaged one point per minute played. Corey scored a season high 29 points, with seven rebounds and one steal. How many minutes did he play? The correct answer: Ask Einstein, man.
Dwight Howard – As rumors swirl of a Brook Lopez trade, Howard put up a monster game in a losing effort, with 15 points, 17 rebounds, two blocks and a steal. New Jersey (Brooklyn?) fans are drooling. No, not because of brain injuries. WARNING: There is a ton of Nets hate in this post.
Bismack Biyombo – Grabbed 15 boards to go with 10 points. Before you decide that nobody beats the Biz, his production is more erratic than Nic Cage’s career. His last five games – 4/1, 9/10, 0/8, 8/13, 4/4. It goes on like that all season.
D.J. Augustin – Put up a serviceable 8/8/2 in 24 minutes as he apparently deals with depression.
Jannero Pargo – Scored 16 points, the second most behind Josh Smith (27/9/2). Atlanta didn’t look great, which allowed Pargo to step in. Usually he doesn’t look that hot, however, with 7 rebounds and 7 assists over the past five games. No, that’s not on average, that’s total.
Zaza Pachulia – Zsa Zsa’s nephew powered his way to a double-double, 12/10/1/1/1. After a disturbing drop in production at the end of February, he had a leap day turnaround and hasn’t looked back.
Jeff Teague – 9/4/9 seems decent until you realized he went 3-10 including 0-2 from behind the arc. He even missed three free throws. I’m impressed he somehow accidentally came across nine whole points.
George Hill – In 26 minutes off the bench, 15 points and 6 rebounds. He went 17/1/2 the day before, while earning 10/4/3 the game before that. This is the first time all season he’s had three consecutive games with double digit points. In deeper leagues, he may be worth keeping an eye on.
David West – Had a season high 24 points but not much else, with just three boards, two steals and an assist. He can usually do better than that. Go West, young man.
Dwyane Wade – Scored 13 with three dimes and a sprained right ankle. The Heat said he could have returned. I suppose I can buy that, as the Heat didn’t necessarily need help thrashing the lowly Nets.
DeShawn Stevenson – Started, played nearly 26 minutes, went 2-8 including 1-6 from downtown. Finished with a line of 7/1/2. Has gone scoreless in five of the last ten games. This is what a starter on the New Jersey Nets looks like.
Sheldon Williams – Speaking of goose eggs, started in place of the injured Brook Lopez and took no shots. Also had no assists. He did manage 2 rebounds, though. Not quite sure what he did with them, though.
LeBron James – Led the team in points (21), rebounds (9), and, if not for Mario Chalmers (8/5/7), would have led in assists, too (6). It’s actually sad how poorly Miami did tonight, even though they went 10-17 from downtown (no, of course Wade didn’t get any of those).
Rajon Rondo – The Celtics take it to overtime again, and Rondo spread the ball around 12 times while adding 9 points of his own. Paul Piece had 30 points, 6 boards, 2 dimes, and 2 takeaways. Kevin Garnett added 13/13/3 to Pierce and Rondo’s performances. If the Celtics are on the decline, they’re going out in style.
Luis Scola – The man with the name that sounds like a crippling disease dropped 18 and grabbed 14 with a nice 3 assist bow on top. Going back to February 22nd, has double-doubles in all but one game.
Kyle Lowry – 18 points on only 4-17 shooting and 2-8 from behind the arc. He went 8-10 from the free throw line. When someone is shooting as poorly as that, why even go near him? He couldn’t sink a bucket from ten feet away. At least he added 7 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals and a block to his lackluster performance (also 6 turnovers, but let’s move on).
Samuel Dalembert – Grabbed a thunderous 17 rebounds, tossed in 11 points as well. Unfortunately, no blocks, but you can’t win them all (although the Bulls sure come close).
Metta World Peace – He must have been visualizing whirled peas as he threw up nine shots and only hit two (that 0-5 from three point range is ugly, too).
Andrew Bynum – Led the team with 30 points, grabbed 14 rebounds, and swatted three shots. This was his tenth double-double in a row. Not bad.
Kobe Bryant – Had two different colored masks like an neurotic Phantom of the Opera, also had his usual production (22/5/7) while destroying your percentages (8-26 FGA/M, 2-9 3PA/M).
Ben Gordon – Played nearly 39 minutes, finished with 15/5/5. I still wouldn’t touch him (hopefully not what his girlfriend says).
Brandon Knight – Looked like he had just a flesh wound tonight: 0/2/3.
Carmelo Anthony – Only managed 6 points on 2-12 shooting. New York as a team only shot 37.3%. The Knicks are perhaps more exciting as a real life team at this point (and only if you like your real life team to lose).
Amar’e Stoudemire – If you listen to New York sports talk radio, you would think STAT is flat. He has no spark, no energy, no life. Well, on Tuesday he went 24/7/1 and led the (admittedly sad) Knicks offense. These are all in line with what he has produced throughout his career. You start him and enjoy.
Steve Novak – Made four three pointers but only went 4-10 with 13 points, 3 rebounds and no assists or steals. If you are desperate for threes, you could do worse, but don’t expect much of anything else.
Rodrigue Beaubois – If you are French, like Beaubois, then…je suis très heureux de faire votre connaissanceor! Quoi de nouveau? Booboo had a tidy line of 18/2/1 with two threes. This isn’t 6th Man territory, but he’s usually good for a couple of threes and a couple of assists per game. In 14 team leagues, mama’s gotta do what she does.
Lamar Odom – Scored three points on 1-9 shooting. He should have gone to that junior high team or whatever it was.