Week 4, we hardly knew ye! The season is in full swing, and doubtless there are some owners who are wringing their hands, fretting over the loss of either Rose or M Gasol, or to a lesser extent, Eric B. Cause he ain’t no joke! Please tell me there are some original hip hop fans out there who are old enough to get that reference. But I digress: We all know that injuries are a part of the games, we know that, but if you’re like me, I hate the smug S.O.B. in the league who spouts that line when it isn’t his cornerstone player going down for half or all the season. And speaking of smug S.O.B.’s lets check in with our fearless fantasy warriors this week:

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Three weeks in, and we are beginning to see who are the contenders, and who are the pretenders. Who are the members, and who are the weekenders. Who are the dependers, and who are the trenders! Wait what? I mean that we can see some squads are proving to be reliable producers, and others who need a lot to go right to be in the mix. It is still early in the season, so nobody can be counted out, but if you’re at the bottom of the barrel, you may want to consider those high risk/high reward sorta trades. Just sayin. Let’s take a look:

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It’s Week 2, and things are just warming up. The leagues are starting to show some separation. Some with pure dominance, others with smoke and mirrors. Let us begin:

 

 

JB’s Random Commenter League The league leader, Baby got Back, was overtaken by Handsome Lads, who also won his week, going 8-1, and sits in first with 15-3. Baby got Back also sits at 15-3, so I’m sensing a rivalry taking shape… JB Gilpin, clearly dissatisfied with his team, made 2 trades that involved numerous players on his roster. All for naught, though, as he still lost his week, posting a 3-6 week, and currently sits 10th of 12. Our fearless editor will, no doubt, totally redeem himself in the coming weeks. We hope.

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This is not for the fantasy faint of heart. This is the Razzball Commenter League Weekly Recap. In Fantasy Terms, This. Is. Sparta!!! This is a to-the-death battle of fantasy prowess on display. This is the article when we document the evolution of greatness. The separation of the men from the boys, right from the beginning. So, without further ado:

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There’s a few players who throw my drafts off course every year for no particular reason. Wesley Matthews. Jose Calderon. Al Horford. Regardless of where it happens, or whether it’s a good pick or not, when I end up taking one or more of these players, the wheels start to come off.

The three aforementioned players actually pale in comparison to my ultimate draft killer: Andre Iguodala. I really have a hard time rating him – either I see him as so overrated he’s underrated or so underrated he’s overrated.

Obviously I’m feeling self-conscious about my first RCL draft. It’s kind of like taking your shirt off at the beach after you’ve spent the winter gorging on pizza and ice cream.

All right, time to suck it up and show off my man boobs:

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Ahhhh, it’s finally that time when drafts are becoming more and more meaningful and abundant, we’ve got the REL Auction draft on Thursday, and two RCL leagues drafting this weekend which still have spots open!  Don’t forget the grand prize in RCL of Razzball gear and a permanent imprint of your team name shaved in my head.  I mean, where else can you win a fan league and brand the resident editor?  I’m not really looking forward to the looks I’m going to get (doesn’t help I’m 6’7 and people be lookin’ anyway!), especially if a team like Your Mom wins.  Ugh.

So in order to hopefully restore my honor, my second RCL team was drafted last Thursday, and I gotta say, while I’m lukewarm to my team, you RCL leaguemates were brutal.  Here’s how the draft went down (full draft results):

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RCL BasketballRazzball Hoops Nation!  It’s that time of year where you bring your smack to the table, your chips into the pot, your yelling at my ranks to the battleground.  It’s RCL time for Basketball and I’m excited for the best RCL season this side of Jeff Hornacek’s short-shorts.

 

Listen, I know RCL last year didn’t go very smoothly over here on hoops.  I took over as editor mid-season, had a lot of things not transition well, and I take responsibility for not shepherding through the final few months when I took over as well as I could have.  To make up for it, I went to Grey on my hands and knees and pleaded for the biggest prize pool we’ve ever given out with the sweetest Razz-pimp gear.  The top winner will get a 2013-2014 RCL Champion Jumpsuit (branded basketball of course) and their choice of a Razzball T-Shirt.  Second place won’t go empty-handed either, and will get a T-shirt of their own as well.  But it doesn’t stop there.  As an acknowledgement of shame and embarrassment from last year, I will shave (well – will have a professional barber somewhere – hopefully from Barbershop) the winning team’s name in my head and post on the Razzball YouTube channel.  That way when you see the back of my head like in my avatar pic, you’ll see in painstaking pale scalp skin the name of your winning team.  Wear your sunglasses!

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The Razzball Community, like a single barrel scotch, is bold and strong. And like a single barrel scotch in the bloodstream of a Las Vegas stripper, we like to spread our butt cheeks and then drive while intoxicated. Wait, what? Anyway, the Razz-comm (<- term that won’t catch on) enjoy nothing more than to match wits and skills with each other in the fantasy arena (there may be things we enjoy more, but we’ll leave that to the philosophers). The season has come to a close, those of you who weren’t sure if J.R. Smith was for real can finally put that question to rest, and our RCL winners have emerged, basking in the glow of victory. “I remember when I was alive, I lived for the taste of success! So says I, the ghost of Dolph Schayes!” Damn you, Dolph, you aren’t dead yet! “Mayhaps, but your career is!” Moving on…

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The Razzball Commenter League is the most exciting fantasy basketball competition in all of eastern Europe and parts of Asia. It’s been a while since we’ve checked in, so let’s cut the bull feces and dive in with our boots on (all league names transcribed as displayed):

Ain’t No Sushine When It RainsSlippery Squirrels leads the pack with 72 points, although Bringin back Seattle is only 4 points back. Fun(?) fact: SS is also the overall leader of the Razzball Commenter Leagues. The most recent trade was a while ago, but it involved We Be Wall’n sending Jrue Holiday, Luol Deng and Joakim Noah to Motorboaters for Dwyane Wade and Marc Gasol. Although I’d rather have the Wade/Gasol side, the trade was fair to both sides. Good game, boys.

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