Razzball Nation!

You’ve drafted your team or about to draft this weekend, the season is upon you, and you’re still stuck with “Joe’s Team” as your team name.  IT ELICITS NO FEAR OR HUMOR!  Like a really, REALLY bad horror film…  Like Secret Window.   “You stole my story.”  You stole two hours of my life!

But alas, your solution is nigh!  Our brand new FANTASY BASKETBALL TEAM NAME GENERATOR is hot off the presses (Well, hot off the keyboard…?  Newspapers need a new one for that!) and ready to make your hoops season memorable!  It’s also linked to the menu under “Our Leagues” for your sudden 3:00 AM urge to make new fantasy team names.  “Ahhhhh, Matt Barnes’ Ex isn’t good enough!”

Just pick an Adjective (with a few possessive noun categories in there), then a noun, and ba-boom!  You’ve got a new team name!  Be sure to shoot your favorite team names in the comments, and let’s get pumped for the season next week, Razzball Nation!

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I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Christopher Nolan fan.  I remember in early middle school, Memento blew me away; a year or two later I made my mom take me to see Insomnia and she probably thought I was nuts…  And again I was blown away by tour-de-force acting and a great character study.

Then of course came all the Batmans which were great, even though the third one had, well, a few issues that the Honest Trailer people figured out.  And I even really liked Inception even though it also had some problems.

And then we get Interstellar.  Nolan doing sci-fi.  Check.  About space.  Check.  About the future.  Check.  And man was I mad!  It’s like no one read the script except Nolan, who is apparently going nuts!  Really the only thing about the movie that isn’t flawed is the amazing score by Hans Zimmer, who is the man.  It’s also shot really well…

So I decided to go back and watch Interstellar and find 50 plot holes (sure, some may be more “issues” than “plot holes”) and connect them using metaphors – like how the movie uses the metaphor for human love to explain everything – to fantasy basketball.  The plot holes that really grinded my gears are in italics.

FULL DISCLOSURE!  I’m not going to watch the Honest Trailer for Interstellar until I’m done!

If this isn’t your viewing companion next time you watch Interstellar, then I don’t know what is… Here we go:

(note – if I really need to say “spoiler alert” for a post like this if you haven’t seen it, then that might be your issue…)

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Congratulations again to the Akron Lebrons, our 2014-15 RCL Champion!  As part of the winning bounty, Akron enforced an eating challenge of spicy wings as my video punishment for being unable to topple the field…  I blame Kevin Durant!  Hey, I might have looked ridiculous in the 2013-14 RCL Champion video, but at least that one wasn’t painful!  I finally know what it’s like to be the pilot at the end of Airplane! and covered in sweat…  Winter didn’t come fast enough!  Here’s the eating challenge video in honor of the 14-15 RCL Champ, Akron Lebrons:

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JB – We’re back with our second annual NBA Razzies, awarding the worst of the worst from the 2014-15 NBA Season!  Last year’s ceremony was a pop culture sensation, a slamming of the dysfunctional Bucks and the [former] Luminescent Lithuanian.  Speaking of luminescent, I’m here with Slim who looks radiant.  What is that, some Oil of Olay exfoliant you’ve been using lately?

Slim – Really…?  I mean, that’s my intro…?  Really…?

JB – Yes, “really” as in I’m “really” happy with the turnout at the polls, as many of you patriotic citizens of Razzball Nation made your voices be heard in our 8 categories to be awarded tonight.  And I have to say Slim, I got a sneak peek of the results, and I have to agree with most of our winners.  Razzball Nation is so wise!

JB begins stroking Slim’s beard

JB – How did YOU get to be so wise, Slim?

uncomfortable pause

Slim – I’ve got to sit here and put up with this AND do a Podcast with you in a few hours?!  I’m firing my agent…

JB – …Speaking of firing, Brian Shaw is here!  Donning a “please hire me, seriously ANYONE!” suit made by the fine tailors of Larry Drew.

Slim – Yes and Michael Carter-Williams is here, excited for tonight’s festivities as he’s up for multiple awards. I’m really having trouble figuring out what he’s showcasing on the red carpet…  Looks like he’s in 4 XL jacket, but his pants barely go past his knees…

JB – Yup, that MCW has never been good with his ratios, Slim!

Slim – Correct you are JB, and with that, it looks like we’re ready to hand out our first award, so let’s tune in to the stage and start awarding our second annual Razzies:

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[Reposting to the top!  Remember, polls close on Saturday night, so be sure and get your votes in for the 14-15 Razzies!]

The Razzies are back!  You’d think we’d want to distinguish the best across the NBA with our annual awards show, but where is the fun in that?!  Especially after this past month of injuries, DNPs, and tanking buffoonery.  Buffoonery I say!  So the second annual 2014-2015 NBA Razzies are here, a year after our debut awards gala.  Who could forget all our Larry Drew bashing?!  Our decorated awards panel have painstakingly put together the candidates for the prestigious Razzies, and once again, the results are voted on by you Razzball Nation!  Polls will be closed at the end of this Saturday night on April 4th, and we’ll release the winners in our awards ceremony next Tuesday.  We have 8 awards to bestow in the wall of shame, so vote once, vote often, and let your voice be heard Razzball Nation!

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March Madness Razzball Logo

Happy St. Patty’s Razzball Nation!  Who doesn’t picture Warwick Davis with claws when they drink 15 Guinesses?

For the third straight year, we’ll be having an awesome Razzball Hoops March Madness bracket pool, joinable through the magic of that link-ity link right there.  And for the prize, I decided to go with something more desirable than money.  Or power.  Or fame.  Ok, well probably not as good as anyadat, but the winner will get a prestigious spot in the Razzball Elite League!  We’ve got a few spots opening up for next season, so the winner of the Bracket will get their first choice of the team to take over.  So hop in today, may the cinderellas be with you, and good luck Razzball Nation!  Oh yeah, NBA… Here’s what went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

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JB – Welcome to the first annual 2013-2014 NBA Razzies!  A celebration and a spectacle of everything that went wrong for fantasy owners in the 2013-2014 NBA season.  We opened polls for fantasy owners to submit their votes on deserving nominees, and the tallies are in, the nominees are here, there really isn’t a more spectacular night for NBA fans, is there Slim?

Slim – That’s right JB, the entire Sydney Opera House is teeming with excitement as we welcome in the nominees, celebrities… I just talked with Jack Nicholson a moment ago, so glad he could make it out to support his Lakers.

JB – You know, I was surprised we could book this at the Sydney Opera House – –

Slim – Don’t doubt the straws I can pull in my native country!

Awkward Silence

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March Madness Razzball Logo


Razzball Nation!  No beating around the bush, here’s a link to brackets for our NCAA Tournament pool, try to topple me!  Which will be easy because I’ve only ever had one good bracket.  But it was a doozy!  The Chapel Hill Michigan St. year, had that final!  Last year – I picked Georgetown.  First round exit!  This year I’m going to be boring and have Florida going pretty far.  And pick Duke to do pretty good.  Lame.

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The 2013-2014 NBA Razzies are here!  The first annual Razzball Basketball Razzie awards have just been nominated, distinguishing the worst players, coaches, and franchises that hurt fantasy players this year.  The esteemed panel have gone through rigorous nomination sampling, but we bequeath onto you the final judgment!  So vote in each of our 8 categories below, with the awards ceremony and acceptance speeches next Friday.  Polls will close Wednesday night, so vote once, vote often, make your voice be heard Razzball Nation!

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