[It’s March of 2011. A disenchanted DeMarcus Cousins is mindlessly taking part in a layup drill during a practice at ARCO Arena/ Power Balance Pavilion/ Sleep Train Arena in Sacramento]

Paul Westphall: Ah, yeah, what’s up DeMarcus. Um, I understand there’s been a few questions about your efforts on the glass? Yeah, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and fix that by participating in some rebounding drills, um-kay? Greaaat. Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and practice on Sunday, too…

[Cousins says nothing, fumes, and goes off to take part in the rebounding drills with Assistant Coach Keith Smart]

DeMarcus Cousins: Hey, guys.

Tyreke Evans: What’s up, G?

DeMarcus Cousins: Want to go to Mokeski’s? Get some coffee?

Marcus Thornton: Oh, it’s a little early.

DeMarcus Cousins: I gotta get outta here. I think I’m gonna lose it.

Keith Smart: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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So I’m sitting around and thinking to myself, “you know, I like auction leagues, I like deep leagues, but there isn’t a really deep dynasty/auction league I’m in…”  That’s my inner monologue!  So much deeper than Grey’s random italicized voice.  And it dawned on me that in my short time as Razzball Hoops Editor I’ve made some new industry friends over at Rotogold.com and the TDB Sports Network and wanted them to join in a really intense league that we could play with the loyal Razzball Nation.  So I started the REL (Razzball Elite League) and we currently have 12 spots open at the time of this posting to fill the 20-team league.  If you want in – shoot your e-mail below and I’ll invite ya!  It’s a league that’ll make you grow chest hair.  A league that’ll test your will.  A league that will separate the deep, scouring, fantasy nerds from the semi-manly.  So shoot your e-mail below if you want an invite and we’re looking forward to a nice relaxing Auction draft at 9:30 EST next Thursday.  Bring it!

As I’m sure you’ve probably read ad nasueum, every auction is different, any player can be nominated first and the money/team that guy goes to alters the rest of the draft.  So be sure to adjust accordingly and above all, get the guys you like!  Don’t get too caught up in price enforcing/inflating and enjoy the squad you put together.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Listen, I know a lot of drafts have gone down, but I think we’re still right in the sweet spot of the drafting season.  And while we’re in that sweet spot, why not start up an RCL Hoops league where we need more commishes!  I am putting an embargo on comments unless you start up a league!  Haha – kidding.  But what’s less funny is the curse of my love for Trey Burke, as he’s going to have surgery on his index finger.  “Don’t you point at me!”  “I can’t help it, it’s the cast!”  The original report of him missing 8-12 weeks had him a 100% no bueno in my book, but then he tweeted out (I guess using other fingers) that it should only be 4-6 weeks.  Apparently he’ll be in a splint three weeks and will be reevaluated.  As in – “my fingy still hurty!”  I’m moving Burke way down and taking it as a sign to completely cool off my love for him.  As in Arnold in the last bad Batman movie cool.  “Tonight’s forecast – a freeze is coming in!”  John Lucas III becomes the starting PG it appears in most games and probably needs to be owned in deeper leagues, but I wouldn’t drop someone that good for him. Lucas III didn’t crack the updated rankings because I don’t see season-long impact from him.  Alec Burks could start some games at the point as well, and remains ranked as I think he plays both guard positions and minutes all year.  That is despite a horrible 1-13 shooting performance last night…  The Jazz are also re-evaluating trading for the Bulls’ Marquis Teague in a possible trade.  Then there’s a rumor that free agent Jamaal Tinsley might also get signed.  Sounding more and more like the Jazz PG is going to be a black hole this season.  So I’m avoiding them all, but still holding Burke in 12+ team leagues (like my 1st RCL League) and hoping.  Here’s what else has been going down through the preseason, and a final rankings update:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ending up with a late-round pick in this year’s fantasy draft is like reaching the front of the line at McDonald’s and having the former computer analyst behind the counter tell you that they only have chicken sandwiches left.

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Al Jeffersons and Carmelo Anthonys, but I came here for the Big Macs, not those Southwest whatever-you-call-its with the weird sauce.

Picking in that slot seems to be having a ripple effect. At that point all the elite guys are gone, so you have to take someone like Jefferson or Anthony or gamble a little on a guy like Derrick Rose. Also, if you didn’t get James Harden, Stephen Curry or Paul George, you’re going to have to either reach or punt a little on SG, because there isn’t one of proper value to take at that spot.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe because I didn’t follow the NBA preseason as closely last year as I was working exclusively on Football, but I feel like there’s been a lot more preseason injuries in only the first week of action than in year’s past.  Then again, Rodney Stuckey wasn’t even on the court, and slammed his thumb in his car door and needs surgery.  It’s gonna make for a hell of a hitchhiking thumb in that cast!  What it is with Detroit athletes and getting hurt in their cars?  Not even a month ago Nate Burleson broke his arm reaching over to keep some boxes from falling and slamming into the median.  All Detroit athletes need to avoid using motor vehicles.  Maybe that’s proof right there Obama shouldn’t have bailed out GM.  Give them all mopeds.  Oh wait, yeah that won’t work, will is Monta Ellis?  Maybe segways?  I’ve got it!  Just tell Andre Drummond he has to carry every Detroit athlete to where they need to go until his FT% goes above 50.  He’ll be like a Detroit athlete tauntaun.  See, tell me why I’m not an NBA coach.  I already had moved Kentavious Caldwell-Pope way up before the Stuckey injury with how the Pistons coaching staff was praising him, and look for KCP to move to right around 100 overall in my next rankings update.  Here’s what else went down since we last looked in at preseason action:

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It’s funny how hometown fans and media have a different perception of players compared to those outside of the area. This gap is more like a canyon in Philadelphia. The outside world saw Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid as a wildly successful QB and coach tandem. One racked up Pro Bowl appearances and 3,000-yard passing seasons. The other had the Eagles as the kings of the NFC East and even got the team to the Super Bowl. In Philly, both are regarded as utter failures who never connected with the fanbase.  Scott Rolen and Andre Iguodala were both viewed as multi-talented consummate professionals in their respective sports. They got killed in Philly for being aloof and coming up short.

And most people on the planet Earth see 76ers center Spencer Hawes as a pretty solid center. They’ve seen 20 and 10 lines, they’ve seen seasons with 10 ppg and 7 rpg, and they’ve seen hustle plays and passion on highlights. But this guy is viewed as the poster child for the frustrating and ultimately squandered Doug Collins era. He’s starting for Philadelphia this year because the team is tanking to get Andrew Wiggins in the 2014 draft. This might be almost entirely true.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The preseason is upon us!  And just like how you don’t put too much stock in Spring Training or the NFL Preseason – there isn’t anything to go too crazy about with what happens in the box scores.  However, some guys do get hurt, hurt guys can show they’re back, and there’s additional news to spruce up everyone’s rankings (my updated top 200 is below and broken down by position in the menu).  But before you scroll down! We really need some RCL commissioners to start up new leagues to show me just how bad my rankings are.  The winner gets their name shaved in my head for god’s sake!  Please don’t make it anything too profane… I don’t want to tell the barber he has to put @$%#% somewhere in my scalp!  Rather than belaboring current events and more RCL pandering, let’s just hop right in:

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Here you have it, folks!  Below you have the entirety of the Razzball top 200, listed by their Yahoo position eligibility (spoiler alert – RCL Basketball might be there!) and my 1/2-a-twitter two-cents on each guy.  As the bartender in The Fifth Element would say, if you do “want some more” shoot your comments/bashing below!  I’ll be updating periodically through the preseason, so if any player moves up or down significantly, I will change their name to green or red so you can track player movement.

Remember that past the 120s or so, you can reach on virtually any of these ranked guys with reckless abandon in standard leagues.  In deeper leagues, I tried to map out about where I would get everyone.  A guy like Archie Goodwin I think has oodles of upside, but is buried in Yahoo and ESPN noodles (aka – their rankings) so I can wait on him in deeper leagues until his rank below, but might take a last-pick flyer on him in medium-depth leagues.  I’ll be breaking each position down every day this week so you have positional cheat sheets, but first here is our rankings:

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And we finally wrap up our big rankings week with Centers, the big men to carry your Boards-n-Blocks, so if Pete says any of these rankings are dead wrong – he knows what he’s doing!  Just as long as he steers clear of my Jonas Valanciunas love – the Luminescent Lithuanian is my call!  Has been since last year!  Every fantasy site has been stealing it from me!

As mentioned before, all Razzball ranks are broken down by Yahoo position eligibility (view all top 200 here), so there won’t be direct positional crossover to other fantasy sites:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Close to wrapping up the positions at PF, there’s a really interesting dynamic looking at my PF ranks.  Sure you can not agree with where I have guys, but I think it’s pretty undeniable there’s a big dropoff from the middle round guys (ending with Zach Randolph, Thaddeus Young and Kenneth Faried) to the deep guys.  As I’ve said before, if drafting on Yahoo the positional scarcity isn’t nearly as big a factor with their position criteria, but if drafting on other fantasy sites, I would be sure to grab one of those top 20ish pure PFs so I’m not stuck with one of the guys in my 30s.

As mentioned before, all Razzball ranks are broken down by Yahoo position eligibility (view all top 200 here), so there won’t be direct positional crossover to other fantasy sites:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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