Here it is, friends, the big kahuna. It’s like when your friends sit around and say, “what are your top 30 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies?” Only instead of that, it’s me telling you the top 100 basketball players for fantasy basketball purposes.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The chatter is loud over the NFL scab referees screwing up games. You know what I say? Forget football and come enjoy basketball. We have thrills, spills, and spine tingling chills. David Stern is possibly the least offensive out of the big four’s commissioners, arguably, theoretically.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve all heard the snarky comment, those who can’t do, teach. Well, those who can’t play basketball play Small Forward. Now, both of those statements are not entirely true, and I’m really just being hateful. There are some great Small Forwards, but this position gets really weak really fast.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yarr, ahoy, mateys. September 19th is talk like a pirate day, and I will shiver ye timbers with more 2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings. Today we be lookin’ at tha shootin’ guard. Reminds me of the time I shot a man for stealing me rum, or maybe I’m just remembering the time I drank too much rum and shot my urine all over the sidewalk.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I love a good big man. That works in both a gay disco and a basketball court, which is basically on par for the amount of sweaty men grunting in close proximity to each other. As we continue our 2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings, I am happy to hit the tallest of the tall.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I bet you’re like, “Yo, Redacted… why 5-24? Why not 1-20 like a normal person?” Well I’m not going to sit here and type to you why LBJ/KD/Paul/Love should go 1-4 because everyone should know that they go 1-4. If not, please invite me to your money league.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For a Washington Wizards team that ranked 27th in the NBA in three-point shooting over the past two years, Bradley Beal will be a very welcome edition. The Wizards must have cast some spell on me (expelliarmus!) because I look at that starting-five and I think, “Wow, Washington actually isn’t so bad!” Well, don’t get me wrong, they are still pretty bad.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have already delighted you with controversy and angst, ranking Dwight Howard in the top ten at the expense of the beloved reincarnation of the Christ child (or the deity of your choice), Andrew Bynum. In the original commandments given to Moses, God warned, “Thou Shalt Not List Any Other Above Andrew Bynum.” At the end of the season when Bynum is the MVP with 30.3 PPG, 19.7 RPG, and 5.3 BPG, you can stand and look down at me as I endure the eternal torment of fantasy hell.Please, blog, may I have some more?