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Yarr, ahoy, mateys. September 19th is talk like a pirate day, and I will shiver ye timbers with more  2012-2013 fantasy basketball rankings. Today we be lookin’ at tha shootin’ guard. Reminds me of the time I shot a man for stealing me rum, or maybe I’m just remembering the time I drank too much rum and shot my urine all over the sidewalk.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For a Washington Wizards team that ranked 27th in the NBA in three-point shooting over the past two years, Bradley Beal will be a very welcome edition. The Wizards must have cast some spell on me (expelliarmus!) because I look at that starting-five and I think, “Wow, Washington actually isn’t so bad!” Well, don’t get me wrong, they are still pretty bad.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have already delighted you with controversy and angst, ranking Dwight Howard in the top ten at the expense of the beloved reincarnation of the Christ child (or the deity of your choice), Andrew Bynum. In the original commandments given to Moses, God warned, “Thou Shalt Not List Any Other Above Andrew Bynum.”  At the end of the season when Bynum is the MVP with 30.3 PPG, 19.7 RPG, and 5.3 BPG, you can stand and look down at me as I endure the eternal torment of fantasy hell.

Please, blog, may I have some more?