I want answers God Dammit!!! I had the night off from the strip club I’m now performing at, so my chicken and I decided to relax, share a “Steel Reserve” 40 ounce and view our favorite movies of 2012 receive countless accolades and awards. To our astonishment, all the epic films of 2012 were forgotten like Bow Wow’s rap career(and acting career). Silver Linings Playbook???? Mentally disable lovers??? Anyone recall The Other Sister? Talk about a knockoff. Don’t get me started on Les Miserables. Shouldn’ there be a separate award show, or category at least for musicals? For the love of God please!!!! Lincoln was so boring I switched over to porn 20 minutes in, though it did inspire me to go the interracial route. This gave me a new type of respect for the man John Wilkes Booth popped in trying to resurrect the confederate cause. What’s truly ironic about that situation is that Lincoln, no doubt bored out his gourd watching another God-awful musical, was probably wishing he was shot at that very moment, with little doubt for that reason being that he would never have to witness another musical again. Enough talk about these duds. Let’s get to Tehol Beddict’s winners.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ben Affleck may get shat upon by the hip and snarky, but he had the last laugh when his film Argo walked away with the Best Picture Academy Award (TM) (C) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS AND SCbzzzt. Where was I? Oh, Surviving Christmas is a much better holiday movie than you would expect, and is worth watching if it comes on TV in 9-10 months. Just store that in your head. If you haven’t see The Town, it’s also enjoyable. Wait, is this the basketball blog? I thought we were talking about movies. Hmmm, well, let’s talk about Andrew Bogut. Bogut’s MRI came back and showed a protruding disc in his back. He has been ruled out indefinitely and will not travel with the team. Some of you may remember I had a minor herniated disc back in September, and it took me a few weeks to recover from, derailing my basketball career even further. Bogut is clearly a world class athlete while I get winded getting up from the toilet, but still, back pain is back pain, and Bogut has to wipe the same way the rest of us do. All of you that were so happy to grab Bogut may have to wait a couple of weeks to begin savoring his production again.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every year, there’s a handful of guys that are waiver wire whores and bounce back and forth between owners for spot starts. It’s like the freshman co-ed dorm; you feel entitled if you’re the first to have one of em riding your roster, but then you feel dirty if you claimed them next. Enter Jarrett Jack, who before settling into his probable NBA 6th Man Award role, got run off the bench, then a few starts, but never those solidified minutes. A shoulder injury a few weeks back had the last round of owners jumping ship, but since returning he’s finally ready for a long term commitment. So what if he gave rival owners a little handsy here and rub-a-dub there? Time for everyone to lock him up Elizabeth Smart style.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Garnett sat out Friday night (DNP old and tired) and Jeff Green finally got his chance to start. Doing the best KG impression he could muster, he tore up Los Suns with a season-high 31 points and added 7 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals and 5 blocks. Oh, hello there! What did you say your name was? I don’t believe we’ve met. They traded you for who–Kendrick Perkins!? Pffft! If we step into the Razzball DeLorean back to several weeks ago, let’s see what I said about Jeff: “I don’t think we’ll see the real Jeff Green until he gets his chance to start…If he can ever put it all together he’s got all the tools to be a fantasy stud.” And that’s me quoting me! Green shot a fantastical 11-of-14 from the field, scored 15 in the first half alone and even hit 3 shots from downtown. If you haven’t picked him up yet you should go pick him up now, he’s still available in about a third of yahoo leagues but that number will shoot up over the weekend, especially with the Celtics fans clamoring for Doc Rivers to start Green on a day-to-day basis. Jeff is averaging 17.5 points, 4.5 rebounds, 3 assists, 1.5 3pm and 1.5 blk in the past 7 days and after last nights performance is worth adding in all standard leagues if you’re feeling lucky.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s my first buy/sell piece, so apologies if I steamroll over any of Chris’ darlings or any of that jazz. But none of these players are gonna be on the Jazz. Sorry Paul Millsap. You’re OK as is.
Let’s get right into my picks as I put the daily recap in it’s own article just to make it feel special. I’ll probably combine these like Chris did in the following weeks as Thursday Night’s slate of games are usually thinner than Tehol’s angle hair. I’ll let you decide what that references:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Morning Razzball Nation!
If you missed it yesterday in my inaugural post breaking down the NBA Trade Deadline, I’m your new Razzball Basketball chief editor and fantasy basketball overlord. Hope I can bring ya the goods!
If you missed the games last night, and lets be honest, they weren’t exactly much-watch TV, you missed the Heat trounce the Bulls 86-67 and the Spurs romp the Clippers 116-90. 67 Chicago? Two more and and Lil Wayne would’ve found his dreads on Chris Bosh’s wife’s legs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you have been around the Razzball block, you may have seen my stuff as a regular writer for Razzball Football (along with Co-Host of the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast with @NickCapozzi) and an occasional contributor for Razzball Baseball. If not, then I say hello Basketball world! I will be taking over the reins as the editor-in-chief for Razzball Basketball (while continuing my contributions to our other fine sports sections) and look forward to making different jokes about the same players. Get ready for numerous Sam Cassell looks like E.T. references.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings Razzball nation! It is I, Tehol Beddict, your indebted servant, scrutinizing player performances yet again to help you win your fantasy league. Let’s just say that Chris Bosh has had a trying last few days. The guy already gets blasted mercilessly for his resemblance to prehistoric creatures, flaccid rebounding numbers and his many peculiar moments on camera, some which of are on this video.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I got some things right in the preseason, and some things wrong, but one of the players I’m most happy about is Damian Lillard. In my rankings post, I wrote, “He dominated the summer league and is one of a number of rookies that people are eyeballing.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The two biggest names people are waiting for in fantasy circles are Derrick Rose and Andrew Bynum, and it looks like they’re both farther away than was anticipated. Bynum felt pain in his knees after back to back workouts, while Rose said he was about 20-30% away (actually, he said he was feeling 85% on a scale of 110%, so hopefully he has an accountant do his taxes).Please, blog, may I have some more?