Ending up with a late-round pick in this year’s fantasy draft is like reaching the front of the line at McDonald’s and having the former computer analyst behind the counter tell you that they only have chicken sandwiches left.

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Al Jeffersons and Carmelo Anthonys, but I came here for the Big Macs, not those Southwest whatever-you-call-its with the weird sauce.

Picking in that slot seems to be having a ripple effect. At that point all the elite guys are gone, so you have to take someone like Jefferson or Anthony or gamble a little on a guy like Derrick Rose. Also, if you didn’t get James Harden, Stephen Curry or Paul George, you’re going to have to either reach or punt a little on SG, because there isn’t one of proper value to take at that spot.

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Maybe because I didn’t follow the NBA preseason as closely last year as I was working exclusively on Football, but I feel like there’s been a lot more preseason injuries in only the first week of action than in year’s past.  Then again, Rodney Stuckey wasn’t even on the court, and slammed his thumb in his car door and needs surgery.  It’s gonna make for a hell of a hitchhiking thumb in that cast!  What it is with Detroit athletes and getting hurt in their cars?  Not even a month ago Nate Burleson broke his arm reaching over to keep some boxes from falling and slamming into the median.  All Detroit athletes need to avoid using motor vehicles.  Maybe that’s proof right there Obama shouldn’t have bailed out GM.  Give them all mopeds.  Oh wait, yeah that won’t work, will is Monta Ellis?  Maybe segways?  I’ve got it!  Just tell Andre Drummond he has to carry every Detroit athlete to where they need to go until his FT% goes above 50.  He’ll be like a Detroit athlete tauntaun.  See, tell me why I’m not an NBA coach.  I already had moved Kentavious Caldwell-Pope way up before the Stuckey injury with how the Pistons coaching staff was praising him, and look for KCP to move to right around 100 overall in my next rankings update.  Here’s what else went down since we last looked in at preseason action:

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It’s funny how hometown fans and media have a different perception of players compared to those outside of the area. This gap is more like a canyon in Philadelphia. The outside world saw Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid as a wildly successful QB and coach tandem. One racked up Pro Bowl appearances and 3,000-yard passing seasons. The other had the Eagles as the kings of the NFC East and even got the team to the Super Bowl. In Philly, both are regarded as utter failures who never connected with the fanbase.  Scott Rolen and Andre Iguodala were both viewed as multi-talented consummate professionals in their respective sports. They got killed in Philly for being aloof and coming up short.

And most people on the planet Earth see 76ers center Spencer Hawes as a pretty solid center. They’ve seen 20 and 10 lines, they’ve seen seasons with 10 ppg and 7 rpg, and they’ve seen hustle plays and passion on highlights. But this guy is viewed as the poster child for the frustrating and ultimately squandered Doug Collins era. He’s starting for Philadelphia this year because the team is tanking to get Andrew Wiggins in the 2014 draft. This might be almost entirely true.

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The preseason is upon us!  And just like how you don’t put too much stock in Spring Training or the NFL Preseason – there isn’t anything to go too crazy about with what happens in the box scores.  However, some guys do get hurt, hurt guys can show they’re back, and there’s additional news to spruce up everyone’s rankings (my updated top 200 is below and broken down by position in the menu).  But before you scroll down! We really need some RCL commissioners to start up new leagues to show me just how bad my rankings are.  The winner gets their name shaved in my head for god’s sake!  Please don’t make it anything too profane… I don’t want to tell the barber he has to put @$%#% somewhere in my scalp!  Rather than belaboring current events and more RCL pandering, let’s just hop right in:

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Larry Sanders was so incredibly tasty during the 2012-2013 fantasy season.

He was so good. In a lot of ways amazing. The F/C was a regular drop/add for me throughout the year, coming on board to pile up double-doubles and blocks and games where he just went off – that triple-double on Nov. 30 where he put up 10 Pts, 12 boards and 10 blocks and a 17-20-2 on Dec. 21. He also had a stretch from Feb. 20-April 5 where he had double-digit rebounds in 18 out of 23 games.

And on Feb. 19 at 8:44 p.m., I added him for keeps in a transaction that vaulted the Punk Rock Gods to the Floor Generals League Championship.

In a similar way, Col. Sanders is so incredibly tasty all the time.

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So who drives the hype-train?  Is it ESPN?  Is it Yahoo?  Is it Buster Keaton?  So what if you have to be 90-years old or a film school grad to get that!  I tend to think it’s a combination of all media outlets that all have similar, independent views.  Before touching any research on the draft, I immediately slotted Trey Burke as my #1 rookie for the 2013-2014 fantasy season, and it’s looking more and more like that’s going to be the consensus opinion.  Damn you, Keaton!

That said, I still think Burke is going to provide tremendous value to owners who spend a high pick on him.  The price may become steeper and steeper to a point too high for even me, but looking at it right now, he’s a guy that would slot in with Kemba Walker and George Hill in that tier of PGs and be ranked in the 50s in our rankings.  Hows that for some hype train?

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Razzball Nation!  Sorry it has been a slight break from me, but it’s been a wild summer.  If I weren’t out of town drinking daiquiris on the beach trying to grow my mustache out and know absolutely nothing about any sport besides baseball, then my summer would’ve felt incomplete…

But I’m back now, back into everything Razzball, and ready to talk some NBA rookies.  I know I’m a little behind the draft, but hey, we’ve got a little time before we see these guys in real NBA action.  Not that Kelly Olynyk playing in solid color warmups in a gym that looks like one Nikola Pekovic used to play in the Siberian Leagues isn’t entertaining, but c’mon.  Let’s get these summer guys playing somewhere nice!

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Ahhh the Big Baby.  I’m not usually a fan of a guy who screams and whines every time he’s touched, I figure this is about what he would sound like if miked up during a game.  But if he’s not fouled or yelling at his teammates, he’s all goofy and smiley on the bench.  “I was just kidding ref, I’m cool like a jelly beans on da bench!”  After a solid start to the 2012-2013 season, Glen Davis hurt his shoulder, then later fractured his foot.  Must have some big feet to support that bulk, but he reportedly only wears size 15 shoes, which is two sizes smaller than me, BOOM!  You know what that means… Why Nick calls me the Big Biscuit, why Davis is Big Baby, and why Tehol won’t invite me to his professional functions.

Back to Davis, who was ballin’ with a career-high minutes, points, boards, well pretty much everything starting for the terrible Magic.  Speaking of that, I have four Magic in my top 100, which seems a lot to invest in such a horrible team.  But hey!  Tobias Harris was my boyfriend last year, I love Nikola Vucevic and Jameer Nelson at 97 is, well, whatever.  So let’s dig down and see why I like Big Baby at 81 and higher than most other rankings:

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So it’s still not even actually off-season, the Spurs lead the Heat 3-2, the draft is still 10 days out, and NBA franchises have yet to enter free agency but seem trigger-happy to let coaches go.  Seriously, it’s like “oh hey George Karl and Lionel Collins – you got us a franchise high wins… Do you want the congratulatory used sofa or wood paneled TV?”  It’s been a very tumultuous offseason front office wise.

Enter Jeff Teague, a player in a long line of big-ticket free agents, who figures to resign with the Hawks (but you just never know).  Free agency negotiations start July 1st with signings starting the 10th, so there’s still some time.  It looks most likely he’ll stay in ATL, where I think he’ll be a fantastic bargain on draft day.  He really improved all facets of his game, and I think is ready to make the leap into becoming the face of the franchise with Josh Smith probably leaving town.  Let’s look at his numbers from last year:

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You know what?  I still blame whatever broadcast I was watching while logging Yahoo fantasy highlights for calling Jonas Valanciunas Latvian and not Lithuanian as the cause for me to make the same mistake.  Sure I should’ve fact checked!  But who does that anymore?  Cough, cough, Kansas City Royals graphics truck, cough. Then again, maybe I heard wrong and I have no idea which game it was and who’s broadcast it was, so I need proof.  Who needs proof anymore either?  I pretty much don’t know or have anything…

Well now that I have undersold my intelligence, let me try to get you to buy on the Luminescent Lithuanian before anyone else in your draft can nab him:

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