Ugh.  I’ve said numerous times I hate when injuries prove any calls right or wrong, but my BJ tooting horn, ya know – the one that says sell high – isn’t looking bad anymore.

If you missed it over the weekend, Brandon Jennings tore his Achilles and is out for the season.  And this isn’t one of those LaMarcus Aldridge thingies where he can just decide not to have surgery and keep playing.  Let’s hope Aldridge didn’t inject some sort of juice in that thumb!  ADHD alert, JB!  More on L.A. later…  So with BJ done, the Pistons only have to change one letter and put in the D.J.!  D.J. Augustin is an obvious must-own in all leagues, and while I’ve been one of the hardest “Wahhhhhhhh!  I’m Jarrett Jack!” pushers, Augustin vaulted him right away, even before last night.  Tore up the Craptors for 18 points in the first half in a redonkulous 35/4/8 line with 5 treys.  D.J.s no longer welcome in Canada!  Wedding costs are going to be out of hand…  No more Jazzy Jeff!  “Who got maple syrup all over the turntable, eh?!”  If you’re reading this and there’s still a D.J. on your wire, as The Crystal Method would say, “NOW IS THE TIME!”  Here’s what else went down over the crazy weekend of fantasy basketball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I know, I know.  Much bigger headlines on the injury front, but it’s Injury Friday with Pete’s Fantasy Basketball Infirmary coming out in a few hours, so I’m not gonna steal his spotlight!

With LaMarcus Aldridge out 6-8 weeks with a hitchhiking injury, on top of Robin Lopez still a few weeks out, there’s a ton of PF/C minutes to fill your Blazing hole.  After Dorell Wright had a very solid 15/3/5/2/0 line with three treys on Wednesday, it kinda felt like Wright could’ve run away with the gig.  But Stotts was like “I want someone else with Ciroc!” and put Thomas Robinson in the PF spot for 28 minutes last night.  Almost rainbowed too!  I’ve always thought T-Rob could turn into something, and 9/12/1/2/2 was mighty solid.  Can’t hit a FT, but who can these days?!  By tomorrow night, Stotts could pound a few more Jamesons and be like “F it, we’ve lost two in a row, it’s Meyers Leonard time!”  All that said, Nicolas Batum also hopped into the Fantasy Basketball Infirmary leaving early with a wrist injury, so maybe Wright will HAVE to play some starting F.  Stotts will take another 5-6 shots of, I dunno, something so low shelf it’s ridiculous – let’s go Popov – to get over last night’s crushing loss and start Steve Blake at PF tomorrow night.  At pressers tomorrow he’s going to be lit like Drunk Uncle!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last year, I think Jonas Valanciunas might have won the “most annoying player for JB” award.  Eh, Jeff Green was up there too…  But we’ve got a clear front-runner for 14-15!

If you had money on Brandon Jennings racking up the first double dimebag of the season, then all praise be onto you!  Great game against the Magic, as he gashed their “defense” for a 24/0/21/0/0 line.  Pretty empty to me, only two cats in there!  First 20-assist game this season, doubling up the dimebags and making BJ’s value as high as Katt Williams.  You’re probably looking like this as a Jennings owner right now!  He’s only the 4th guy to put up a 20/20 game since 2000, and I guess all my sell Jennings high hooblah is looking a little dumb now…  I still think if you can get one of the higher-tier guys like a Jeff Teague you have to do it, but otherwise I guess it’s a strong hold and ride the wave.  Upside of two dimebags on any given night?!  That’s a friend you need to keep for life!  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Woooo-ie!  When I think about why I’ve had such a bad past four weeks, it became easy to forget just how good Kawhi Leonard is!  My deep league REL squad (20 team, 340 players owned) couldn’t handle the loss and I went into a Nicolas Cage Leaving Las Vegas tailspin of drinkery.  But I’m back baby!  Unfortunately not with Elisabeth Shue though…

Hitting the glass harder than a Coloradoan at a dispensary, Kawhi gobbled down 15 boards in a 17/15/3/2/1 line hitting 6-13 FG, three treys and 2-2 FT.  All is right with the world!  No fear in that hand, and no other Spurs player had more than 5 boards.  Box out, Jamba Jus!  I’ve been a big Kawhi fan his whole career, and I’m still eagerly awaiting the day Pop decides he will finally run Kawhi for 35 MPG.  Hasn’t gotten to 31 in his three games back from the hand injury, and while the minutes are up this year, it’s still only 32 MPG on the season.  Give him the Jimmy Butler treatment!  And then we’re talking some no-brainer first round shizz.  Maybe the big workload will happen once the vets are gone and Pop will be forced to play his superstar, but maybe Pop likes playing his hockey line changes.  At least we can look back on Tim Duncan who was playing 39 MPG his first 6 seasons.  Let the stars play!  Either way, it’s just good to have Kawhi back.  Here’s what else went down on a short night of NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The race to see who will be the biggest historical figure from NYC named Langston!

In his first career start, another D-League darling in Langston Galloway had a career-high 21 points in a 21/5/3/0/0 line hitting 8-14 FG and 3-6 from deep.  Probably the best stat from yesterday is that the Knicks are undefeated in Galloway starts.  Kid doesn’t know how to lose!  Starting a little bit out-of-position at the 2 guard, the Knicks seem intent on giving him minutes and seeing what they have.  He played 31 yesterday to Jose Calderon‘s 23 minutes of rock-bottom garbage and Shane Larkin only popped up for 15.  Definitely going Galloway over Larkin, I was on that side of the argument even last week, but is it crazy to roll the dice on Langston over terrible-aroni Calderoni?  I would probably take Galloway unless a desperate need for assists-upside.  Plus Calderon makes perfect sense as a trade candidate given the Knicks’ direction.  Notice how I said Knicks.  And not Poppycockers.  Because they won a game!  I’m giving our New York readers a day of respite…  Keep the losses coming, Knicks, I wanna keep doling out the Poppycockers joke the rest of the year!  Here’s what else has gone down since we last checked in on Friday in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a game in London!  One of the biggest franchises in the NBA, losers of 15 straight heading into yesterday’s international soiree, were the heavy underdogs to the Bucks.  Yikes.

Best player in the game?  Probably my boyfriend!  Brandon Knight went all Guy Ritchie on the Knicks for 6 Snatches and a 20/5/6/6/0 line.  Hit two threes and continues to be a FT% beast with 6-6 from the stripe.  Really the only annoying thing about Knight right now is he only had one game this week!  Friggin’ Brits.  Stealing our ideas like “sovereignty” and “not beheading people”.  Black Mirror is pretty dope though!  There is one thing about Knight that is actually a little concerning – papi no likey el TO!  3.4 per game with another 3 yesterday.  But so far in Janurary – very small sample bias – they’re down a tad.  Really like Knight ROS, and as a possible husband.  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

[NOTE – I’ll be out of town Monday, so I’ll be back with the weekend/Monday recap on Tuesday!]

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After a tough groin injury, we really weren’t sure how long DeMar DeRozan would be Frozen.  “Let it go!  Let it go!  Blah dee, blah dee, blah…”  Trying to reach out to our younger readers.

DD is back and immediately entices with immense cleavage!  Younger readers, alienated.  DeRozan returned after missing a month and a half/21 games for a very solid 20/4/4/1/1 game hitting 9-14 FG.  It was against the soon to be relegated Sixers, so there’s that, but this is mighty encouraging.  In a game where Toronto didn’t need him at all, he started, got 29 minutes, and looks healthy for the stretch run.  Toronto letting the DD out!  I bet chicks aren’t letting the DD out this time of year in Canada, sheesh it’s cold in NC!  Lots of ripples with DeRozan back out there.  The biggest is it looks like James Johnson can go in several leagues, as sad an epitaph as it is…  Played only 15 minutes for 5/2/2/0/0.  Some of that was probably matchup based since the Sixers backup depth is in guards (and Amir Johnson played well), but it’s a swift death.  Terrence Ross also played only 18 minutes as the starter and scored 2 Pts without doing anything else.  Ross is barely 16-teamer worthy now, as one of the deepest lineups in the NBA is healthy top to bottom.  The Raptors bench could probably contend for a playoff spot in the East.  Well they’d have to replace Tyler Hansbrough.  I think one of those inflatable flailing arms things has more ball skills than Psycho T…  Here’s what else went down last night in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve never been a huge fan of his, but at least Mo Williams makes it really easy to have a punny title…

I would’ve said you’re as high as Busta Rhymes if you told me Mo Will was about to drop 50 last night.  What a crazy, crazy world we live in where the T’Wolves finally break out of their 15-game losing streak behind a franchise record 52-point game.  Some really weird biguns for the Wolves, remember when Corey Brewer put up 51 last year?  So both of those guys stay in the franchise record books as better scorers than Kevin Love or Kevin Garnett.  Go figure.  Makes me wanna headbutt something!  Mo with an unbelievable line of 52/4/7 hitting 19-33 FG (6-11 3PTM 8-9 FT).  Where to even start with the crazy?!  Mo hadn’t scored 30 since MARCH 2012 (!!) according to our friends at Rotoworld.  I would look at his game-logs to fact check, but we don’t fact check!  And as good as this game is, he’s not even a good pickup!  I think that’s the craziest thing…  Ricky Rubio is almost back to retake the PG minutes, and even if Flip wanted to run some combo guard lineups out there, Kevin Martin (so many Kevins in Timberwolves history!) is almost back.  Plus this game should make him easier to sell in the NBA.  Might get the Wolves a first rounder.  So while Mo is maybe worth an add for the very short-term (only 32% owned on Yahoo late last night), I’m certainly not losing anyone of value for him.  Here’s what else went down on a crazy and injury-riddled night of NBA action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Awwwwww, yeah!  Yeah J-Val.  Gimme a little peek.  Gimme a little glimmer of hope!

Oh man, was it a tale of two halves for the Raptors last night!  They were lobbin’ shizz all over the place like they were the Globetrotters against the…  Who do they play again?  That they always beat?  Oh yeah, the Knicks, like they were the Globetrotters against the Knicks.  Kyle Lowry had 9 dimes in the first quarter and Jonas Valanciunas put up 14 points on 7-8 shooting.  Drummo playing uggo!  Kinda a “but his D” lately…  The Luminescent Lithuanian ended up going 14-15 for 31/12/0/0/1.  The FT% is nice (3-4 last night and right at 80% on the year), but his combined – yes COMBINED – Ast/Stl/Blk this year are under 2.  Sigh.  I thought he could turn into something so much more special!  There are some long-term nice things – per-36s he’s cut down a few TO, scoring more, fouls are down – but Casey is playing him lower minutes than last year (and wouldn’t consistently feed him after that hot start) and I don’t know if he’s ever going to be more than a slightly taller Zach Randolph.  And with that, J-Val is all insulted, buttoning up his clothes, and not giving me that flash of hope.  Dammit, I’m my own cockblocker!  Me n Valaciunas are gonna be awkward for a while until safely in the friendzone.  Here’s what else went down on a light night of Monday action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who doesn’t remember Remember the Titans?  “If you have to remind people what the joke in the title is from, it sucks JB!”  Thanks ghost of Grey!  I’ll work on improving the rest of the week if you can sneak in and Hollow Man me a mustache ride.

Hard to believe Remember the Titans is so old.  Who woulda thought Will Patton’s annoying ass daughter would be getting torn apart by some monster Russian boxer.  “I must break you.”   And who woulda thought a guy who had bounced around the D league, played in China, barely played in 2011-12 the last time we saw him in the NBA, would break fantasy basketball waiver wires?!  Hassan Whiteside absolutely tore apart the Clippers Klitschko-style for 23/16/0/2/2 yesterday afternoon, in case you missed it and weren’t watching NBA.  Not like there was any other sport with important games on…  Mr. Whiteside hit 10-13 FG and 3-4 FT (although he’s not the best FT shooter), and most importantly started the second half over Chris Andersen.  Birdman had bid flu with a -17 +/- and Whiteside was brightside for +26.  No disparity there!  And somehow Slim’s Heat won.  I’d be very surprised if Whiteside doesn’t start tomorrow against the Lakers, and he’s leap-frogged a lot of the fringy big men.  Alex Len is so then!  Jordan Hill can take a chill pill!  Jusuf Nurkic can… Nope, he’s still Jamba Jus!  Love my smoothies…  But Hassan is likely a must-own in all leagues.  Hopefully you grabbed him yesterday or can this morning, so your bigs can tear apart your opponents Klitschko-style.  Here’s what else went down over the weekend in fantasy basketball action:

Please, blog, may I have some more?