Sometimes there’s not much you can do to affect your situation. If you’re reading this, digging this deep into the murky ether of the worldwide inter-webs for fantasy basketball advice, I’m sure you’ve had a daydream or two about being an NBA baller. We both know, however, for you and I, it wasn’t about not getting enough shots up after practice that held us out of the Association, we didn’t have the talent, pure and simple. But, if you’re petty like me, you might take some ironic comfort in knowing that even some of the Ballers in the NBA get shafted as well. Take Kyle Lowry, for example. He gets snubbed for the All Star game, then snubbed for the replacement players, THEN gets named Eastern conference player of the week, and then receives the worst call of the year, just to burst his bubble. That is a travesty of injustice, and while I’m not shedding any tears for Kyle inherently, it just goes to show that even the elite get effed with. There is a karmic balance going on, people, stop pretending there isn’t, and start paying it forward, eat your vegetables, and help old ladies across the street.

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Last time I’m gonna mention it, I’m not a masochist, but last week, I suggested that Terrance Ross should be dropped. Well, I think he may read my smelly little article, because homeboy went off for 51 with 10 treys, making me look a fool. Well, to Terrance I say: “I don’t need any help looking like a fool, thank you very much!” I think I won that joust. But in all seriousness, there’s a good lesson to be learned here: never drop slam dunk winners! Wait, whut? No, Daniel-san, the real lesson is no matter how good you are, you’re gonna make mistakes in fantasy. I had Ross, and dropped him just in time to watch him put in a performance that would have won my week. But he had scored 14 points his previous 3 games, with not a lot of supporting stats, the drop was a good move, based on his numbers up to that point. I, like any good fantasy player, have to shake it off, and not beat myself  up too much.  So on that note, if you’re still reading, you may want to know whom to buy and whom to sell, and to that I say, thank you, read on, but obviously, buyer beware!

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Waa-Wuuuuh… That is the written version of the sad trombone. This week’s title is a flop, just like Lance Stephenson‘s excuse for flopping, amirite? He essentially said that the floor was slippery, so he embellished the contact. I love you, Lance, but c’mon son! Just say you were trying to draw the charge, no shame in that, and let that be the end of it! Lance has been flopping into our fantasy hearts this year, though, so we can’t stay mad at him. We are at the halfway point in the NBA season, and like mid-winter for us northerners, if you’re not careful, you could catch a case of the fantasy basketball doldrums. It’s harder to find the waiver wire break outs, because most of them have broken out already. You could just pack it if you let the blahs take hold. But don’t brave reader, you’re better than that! Is there still some gold to be mined out there? I submit there is. But adjust your expectations accordingly. You ain’t finding a mountain full of gold, Smaug done got got his, you’ve left picking up what’s left. So what did my pick axe knock loose this week? Have a gander:

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Howdy. I’m back, y’all, From two weeks of vacay in Mexico. And I’m feeling very zen. Nothing like 8 days of rain to help you find your centre. I stopped trying to watch NBA ball in Spanish on day 3, (Se chupu bollas!) so I’m a little out of touch with current events. But since that does you no service, good reader, I’ll give you what I managed to scrounge up:

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L-Tryptophan. The chemical compound found in Turkey that makes you sleepy. I am chock full of it, and I imagine more than a few of you gentle readers are as well. So lets make this the last holiday installment of the Buy/Sell before we head back to the couch for a little nappy. There are a few players, however, that might make you excited enough to chug the sluggish, gravy laden blood through your arteries, and wake you up to your regular, effervescent self. Cause if these cats don’t do it for you, you are officially in a catatonic state, fantasy-wise:

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That title is pathetic. But so am I, juggling Christmas shopping, and my obligation to the Razzball faithful. This Article will be the equivalent of giving everyone on my list 25 dollar home depot gift cards as Christmas gifts, you’ll smile uncomfortably, and mutter “thanks, you shouldn’t have.”, or some such apathetic reply after finishing it. One day I’m gonna have the balls to prank my wife with that move, and see how long she can keep “the spirit of the season is to give, not receive” farce going before I get whacked with a candlestick. But it was no prank to see Kemba Walker ice the Raptors in OT, one night after Damian Lillard did the same thing to the Cavs. These young guns sure are fun to watch (sorry Javaris, too soon?), and even more fun if they’re on your fantasy team! let’s take a look at the some of the other pistols in the arsenal:

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I trust everyone has been a good boy or girl this year, and has sent their wish list to Santa already, right? I have it on good authority that jolly old St. Nick is a huge NBA fan, so naturally I suggest you ask for fantasy help. And I have a strategy: bear in mind, if you ask for too much, you get burned for being greedy, and you will get coal bricks under your tree (like Drummond at the free throw line, amirite?? Awful, sorry.). So, that in mind, I’m simply asking for dimes. I need help with assists in my 2 leagues, I took Kyrie in both leagues, and he is not exactly packing that stat line, I have Jameer, and he’s been on and off the court… well, whining to you guys won’t do anything about it. But whining to Santa will. It has to, as there is no quality points on my waiver. And with that let me bend your eyeballs to a few guys that might make excellent stocking stuffers:

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Have you ever gone out with a nurse, or someone in pre-med? It sounds all sexy, and I’m not gonna lie, it was, but like in all things, there are benefits, and there are drawbacks. In my case, it was a textbook situation of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. If I had a cough – it’s malaria. Once I had an itch on my back – don’t wanna scare you, but you may have cancer. My sac a little tingly – you got the AIDS. Humph. She was wrong on almost all of those prognostications. But I can relate, because I fancy myself a bit of a B-Ball aficionado, and, really, I just read and watch a lot of the game. So when I nabbed Kobe Bryant in the 5th round in 2 leagues, I smugly patted myself on the back, letting the league know I got the steal of the draft. Mamba was gonna came back right at the beginning of the season, all pissed off, and be a ball hoggin’ menace out there. Then I got either Sanders, or Tobias, as well as Wilson Chandler, and held them on the bench also. I thought that I could outsmart the system, and it hasn’t exactly worked out that way. But I’m still hoping that Kobe can come in this Sunday, and totally redeem me. But this isn’t my diary, so let’s get to it.

So, knowledge is dangerous, potentially, I believe I have established that. If you think you can handle the danger, then read on, brave reader, read on:

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It’s the time of crazed shopping for discounted electronics. The argument: “At that price, I couldn’t afford NOT to get it!” will be heard all around the country over Turkey leftovers this weekend. I give to you the Buy/Sell shortened holiday edition, free packaging, 70% off, this weekend only! And with that in mind, here are a few guys you can’t afford not to get:

Buy:

Jordan Farmar PG

You got up late, you’re one of the last to the mall, cursing the excessive turkey and alcohol consumption, and you’re scrambling for points, treys, steals and the odd assist. Well, the basketball gods are smiling on you, because although he’s one of the last in the sales bin, Jordan Farmar is still there for you. In the last 2 games, he has hit 8 3pts, with almost 5 dimes per game. He’s only owned 9% of leagues. It’s not a perfect choice, but that’s what you get when you sleep in, mutton-head!

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We are, brothers and sisters, into our 4th week of fantasy, and things are starting to shake out, no?  Stevie Blake continues to produce, and all is right in the world of baskets and balls. Or is it?

I had written a smelly little article last week, another Buy/Sell, and one of you kind readers, Giant Gigantes, asked why my article read like a add/drop, and not buy/sell, as I didn’t recommend any players that are playing over their head, ones that the reader should look to move. At first I blew it off, not thinking anything of it. I mean, how would I, or anyone else know this early in the season who is over valued, and who is under performing? The nerve of this cat, right?

But I couldn’t leave it alone, because I’m petty, and can’t take criticism of any form due to my tenuous opinion of myself. In this case, there was something to what he was saying. Giant was right to expect me to make some wild assertions, if for no other reason than to spark some discussion amongst you guys. I needed to go deeper, do some serious introspection about what motivates me, who I am, and who I want to be as a hack sports advice guy. But only after a healthy dose of porn. Don’t judge my methods, that’s how I reach my spirit guide.

Please, blog, may I have some more?