Happy New Year, one and all. You have burnt the yule log down to ash, and done drunk the eggnog up. Now it’s New Year’s resolutions, and old year’s regret. I don’t want to be negative, however, as 2017 is still a wee baby, and we can nurture it along to be a fantasy monster. What are your ideas on how to do this? Me? I think you may want to consider making a deal for one of the players that may be on the move. Who could that be, he asked speculatively? Let’s take a looksie, m’kay?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring ting tingling toooooo… Come on it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with youuuuu… Never gets old. I hope Santa was good to you, and delivered your heart’s desire. Me, I avoided a lump of coal, which is a win in my books. I know we are all enjoying the eggnog, honeyed ham and Christmas basketball at this time of year, and if you’re like me, you are content to park the moneymaker on the couch and soak it all in. So I’m going to briefly mention a few things I’m thankful for in fantasy basketball, and a few New Year’s resolutions I’m making on behalf of some NBA ballers, and we can all get back to gorging ourselves while surrounded by weird relatives in Christmas sweaters like the little baby Jesus intended us to:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I neeeed… Ok, my Mariah impression doesn’t exactly translate well into print, but let me assure you, I murder at Christmas karaoke. I guess I should throw a bunch of things on the fantasy wish list, but for this abbreviated Christmas edition of the buy/sell, all I want for Christmas is blocks. The rejection is one of the more commanding categories in fantasy basketball, and simply put, the swat is a thing of beauty. A rim protector can almost single-handedly win you the weekly category. Therefore, there is particular value in the few who excel at the Mutumbo finger-wag, waiting to be snapped up, or parlayed into other assets. It’s a pretty exclusive list, but it’s better than a lump of coal, amirite? Let’s take a look at the long limbed defenders, hmm?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was happily watching my beloved basketball, and enjoying, yet all the while feeling old. I reminisce about the good old days. The bulls were winning 72 games, shorts had just gotten longer, the only tattoos were on Dennis “the Worm” Rodman, and Centres were lumbering lumpy giant dudes like Bill Cartwright and Rasho Nesterovic, with undefined arms and soft hands, like a baby’s bottom. It was a simpler time. You could be a geek, and still dominate the NBA, a la John Stockton, who was a millionaire, and never stopped getting his mom to cut his hair, apparently. The league, while being dominated by the likes of freaks like Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, still had room for geeks to make their mark. Heck, the biggest geek of them all, the illustrious Larry Bird, the one lumpy to rule them all, still played in 1992. Is there space for Geeks in today’s league, or is there only to be athletic freaks from now on? Let’s take a look at a few from each column, and see if they fit the description, hmmm?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hope all of you enjoyed your fair share of Turkey and fixings this past Thanksgiving! The shortened week always messes me up. Or is it the L-Tryptophan? For this of you who don’t know, or have never seen that Seinfeld episode, Tryptophan is an amino acid released in proteins (especially present in Turkey), that will induce lethargy and/or sleep. After this weekend, perhaps we should take a look at which Fantasy Basketball players overindulged this week, and who has been flying right:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Bird is the word this week, gentle reader. I know that Thanksgiving themes are played out, but if you’ve ever read any of my previous articles, you will know that I can’t resist the low hanging fruit. My vertical won’t really allow for anything but the lower branches anyhow. So what are you thankful for good reader? Jrue Holiday? Kristaps Porzingus? Donald J Trump? Whatever it is that makes you thankful, we all remind ourselves that in fantasy there is a yin and then there is a yang. (Stat)Stuffers, and Turkeys, as the title suggests. So loosen your belt, Fantasy GM, pass the gravy, and let’s take a hearty serving of both on our plates:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ah, the early weeks of the fantasy season, when a young man’s or woman’s fancy turns to love. Love of the game, love of that reach you made for Gordon Hayward in the draft when others were worried about his injury. Love of how good your picks look thus far, and how bad your opponents picks look. Because everyone has a chance at this stage, right? And that’s good for the game, no? Somewhere out there, somebody is giddy that they selected JJ Barea in the later rounds. Others are pleased that they nabbed a tasty morsel, or pleased their blue chip pick is performing as advertised. The scientific term is the honeymoon phase, and fella, you are smack-dab in the middle. At this time people often complain that it’s hard to make trades, so while I will make some trade recommendations, I will also comb the waiver for you, gentle reader, to try to polish the proverbial turd for you to grab. Let take a look at what is to be had:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Everythang we do is funky up in heaaah! I love how so many cats have been laying down the nasty funk these first few weeks in the N.B.A., and not your regular humdrum contributors! It makes for interesting fantasy trade bait, you dig? Ok, I may not be able to lay down the fresh jive in the caliber of the late great host of Soul Train, Don Cornelius for you, but I appreciate the art form of weaving sexy soul into speak. And some of the early season performances from our fantasy faithful have been nothing short of artisanal. But are these performances going to endure like Jay-Z, or be a flash in the pan like Kris Kross? Let’s take a look at a few cats that are Big Pimpin, and the wannabes who fake the funk, and come off wiggity whack: (I realize that I jump from funk to hip hop analogies, but you get the gist, leave it be, good reader, I’m on a deadline here.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ll admit it: I’m rusty. I took the off-season lightly, expected my natural talent to take me through the early season, and I’ve been huffing and puffing up and down the keyboard this week, trying to earn my contract. Can’t stay in the show too long with that attitude, you gotta earn it. “Stay hungry, young blood!”, my Nanna always used to say! That, and: “Don’t trust a fart when running a marathon”. I don’t really know why that was a go-to for her, but she stood by that pearl, so I will as well. We can see that there are some NBA ballers who had a few too many Mai-Tai’s on the beach when they too should have been in the gym, while others were hungry, working on their craft. And while it may be a touch too early to be blowing up your squad, we have been advised to not trust a fart when running a marathon, do with that what you will. So let’s take a look at some cats who might be worth a deuce:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is the part in your fantasy run where, if you were in Independence Day, Bill Pullman would give you that inspiring speech about not going quietly into the night, that we will fight to the last man, etc, etc. In fantasy terms, simply put, it’s The Final Countdown, which ironically as it relates to Independence Day, was performed by a band called Europe. Perhaps you are inspired by Rocky, maybe you like Rudy. Whatever floats your boat. You are in the win or go home stage, I would gather, if you’re reading this article, and very likely not going swimmingly, if you’re looking to add a desperation piece. So clearly my advice is not really possible in the traditional sense, as trades are no longer possible in leagues. This is more of a Add/Drop waiver kinda thing; we’re trying to polish a turd, essentially. So, before I don my Randy Quaid hat and fly my jet up an alien’s exhaust pipe, let’s try to glean some usable quality off the waiver for streaming or injury replacement, shall we?Please, blog, may I have some more?