And we’re back baby! The All-Star break in Nawleans has come and gone, with a disappointing dunk contest, no bounce passes in the skills contest (yeah, what was up with that Prez?!) and All-Star jerseys that made the finale look like an adult rec league game on a Thursday night. “Help, I think Stanley has a hernia!” I was constantly thinking to myself about the Major League quote, but the opposite. Brian Scalabrine or Matt Bonner coming into their first practice with sleeves and a hat on, and their coaches were like, “We don’t wear caps and sleeves at this level son!” Sure made that coach look stupid on Sunday night! And if you’re a Cleveland fan, you’ve got to be thinking, “Crikey wtf is going on!?” after seeing Kyrie Irving and Dion Waiters go off in their respective ASB games over the weekend. Then to see neither of them do anything against the 76ers last night! To be fair, the Cavs let their scrubs do all their damage in a blowout. So I guess if Cavs are thinking crikey, Philly fans are thinking, “if we don’t win 20 games this year, I’m giving up cheesesteaks!” Drastic? Probably. Be liking asking me to give up that delicious BBQ. Now I’m all sorts of hungry… How did this get into food? Let’s just dive right in to last night’s return to action, like how you’d dive into an all-you-can-eat Southern food buffet with mac & cheese, hush puppies, chopped BBQ, whole BBQ, biscuits & gravy, and then, and then…:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Glen Davis went to the pre-season Magic weigh-in, the trainer was like, “355 Big Baby, really?” “These hips don’t lie!” And in a very full slate of games last night, we had two pretty premiere big men have their hips not lie and go out on them. “Help I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” The NBA to start issuing players life alerts to wear around their necks. DeMarcus Cousins was the first to succumb to the AARP ailment. Suffered a left hip flexor, but coach Mike Malone said it probably wasn’t serious. Destiny is like, “wait a ‘left’ hip? I thought, like, for people we had only one hip!” No child left behind fails us yet again. Good thing it’s the All-Star break for Boogie! An All-Star Boogie! Dude, that should totally be an event. Breakdance Horse! Hah. Then Derrick Favors went out and re-aggravated his right hip that had caused him to miss games here and there over the past month. This one is a lot less bueno. But hey, DeMarcus and Derrick have a pair of healthy hips! If only they were siamese twins – they’d get, like, 35 rebounds a game. Favors will likely get an MRI and be brought along very slowly since this is a re-aggravation. Enes Kanter to the rescue! Might get some solid run and deserves love in a lot of leagues. And don’t sleep on Rudy Gobert in deep leagues if you need some blockage. Speaking of blockage, look at some of the traffic photos of NC from yesterday. No one learned from Atlanta! And the best basketball game on the slate, UNC-Duke, cancelled. Travesty. Let’s get this global warming going again! Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, the Feds are after you. Your Ponzi scheme and billions of dollars are up for seizure. Well, that, or your $20 league dues and your friends sending you obnoxious texts about how you’re not going to the playoffs. So if you’re in H2H and in this shortened week, what is a Madoff to do? How about putting in a quick grab of Chris Kaman, who has erected himself into surging fantasy relevance. Too far JB! A raging 25/14/4/1/3 line last night, taking a whopping team-high 24 shots. That’s now three straight games of at least 17 Pts, 8 Rebs, 3 Asts and 2 Blks. That’s the floor! While tonight’s slate is pretty jam-packed, Thursday is a light one. With the Lakers one of the few teams in action, Kaman could really make the difference this week for ya in Pts and Blks. While he does have a shelf life whence Pau Gasol returns, if Gasol is indeed traded I think Kaman has played well enough to stick. Of course you never know with Doh-toni, but Robert Sacre isn’t exactly a guy to be developed for a long-term future and they don’t have any other true 5s. So don’t be afraid to stash some of your free cash in the Kaman islands. While he is owned in 43% of Yahoo leagues already (a bit shocking to me it had hopped up that fast), there’s plenty of IRS-free banks left to stash him up. Here’s what else I saw last night across fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So imagine you’re heading into fantasy hoops last night, wondering what the headline would be. You knock on the mansion’s door and Tim Curry is standing there all snippity-proper. You say, “Hey, Timmy, someone is gonna kill it tonight!” Could it be, Colonel Larry Sanders Mustard? Nope! His vision is too blurred to be the culprit. And no, it’s not because he topped off his third bottle of Cristal just to have another blunt weapon, it’s because he got poked in the eye! Could it be Reverend Jeff Green? No way, he had his big night a few games ago, we all know it’ll be at least another two weeks until another good one! So it’s surprise suspect #3, Professor Mason Plumlee, who went all Krzyzewki on the Pelicans leading the Nets in Pts Rebs Stls and Blks for a 22/13/0/3/2 line. Shot 8-10, 6-9 from the stripe, and made Anthony Davis lose a wee bit of hair on his Brow. “I’m supposed to be the high-flying big man in this game, Mason!” The crowd wasn’t chanting MVP for ya in this one! Awww, that’s mean. After playing under 12 minutes the previous two, Plumlee got 28+ in the past two games and productive in both. Keep Kevin Garnett at 13 minutes a game, Kidd! I think a good way to approach Plumlee right now is like James Johnson. Puts up solid stats all around (although a little less all-around than JJ) when he gets the minutes. I think he’s gotten himself to fringe 12-team worthy depending on your roster comp. Definitely needs to get scooped up in deeper. I think enough minutes will be there for him to fill in some Pts/Rebs/Blks. Here’s what else I saw over the weekend in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
One team. Two broken noses. Four bloody nostrils. One protective face-mask company that has lost a client.
In case you missed it, in the battle of the oldest teams ever in NBA history (yeah, no stat to back that up, but pretty sure George Gervin played a few minutes in the third… [Ok, ok, the Spurs benched all their old guys, whatever!]), both Nando De Colo and Matt Bonner broke their noses and got all bloody. Bonner with his mask still on! On both (De Colo, Bonner) you got some really good in your face camerawork. I feel like both of those could become UFC moves. The “Russian wrister”! The “Livingston shoulder slam”! De Colo gets mad props for coming back in the game in the second half. Bonner gets mad props too for trying to come back in, but Pop wouldn’t have it. Pop hates props! Plus Bonner’s quote, “By tomorrow, I’ll either have a new mask or a new face” is friggin’ awesome. Kinda have a boner for Bonner. While De Colo is not a standard league option, with Tony Parker an elf on the shelf with a bad back, De Colo got 27 minutes 11/3/2/2/1. Near rainbow! It’s actually a pretty light slate of games looking ahead on Saturday, so De Colo could be a nice streamer for you in deeper leagues if Parker stays on that shelf. But as Slim pointed out to me earlier in the week, they’re against Charlotte – a top-5 PPG NBA D, but his defense and boarding should be fine if you need a lil-a-dat from a PG over the weekend. Here’s what else I saw last night in fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we mentioned a few months ago, the Philadelphia 76ers D is bad. Like D League bad. They could use some D league! At one point, they were close to 8 points a game worse than the the 29th worst team defense. But with the Lakers having all sorts of problems, they’ve entered the bottom feeders with Philly giving up a league worst 109.9 a game, LA now 29th at 106.2, then third is at 103.8. Suffice to say – soft D. Kinda like in the word djent. Any metal fans out there? Or in Django Unchained. The big benefactor last night was another huge game from Jeff Green, who shot 11-18 (5-7 3PTM 9-12 FT) for 36/8/2/0/2. Should’ve been doing this all year! Green had that even bigger 39-point outburst two weeks ago against the Wizards, so that’s two biguns sandwiched with cold cuts of bleh. Kinda like a $5 footlong when you choose meatball but have to eat it later… Stevens said a couple of days ago that they need to get Green the ball in the post and in transition more. I guess that equals making 5 of your 7 threes! Hah. While I do think Green will be better, and the return and minutes exansion of Rajon Rondo to help create better oppotunies will help, if you can get some really solid top-60ish value in a sell-high, run and do it. You may be saying, “top-60, this JB is reaching too high!” Heading into the year, ranked 63 in Yahoo and ESPN at 58! And I had him at… Yeah I don’t wanna talk about it. So getting draft day value at 100% would be very nice. Much lower than that and I’m still holding. Here’s what else I saw on a busy night of NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Lakers and dear ol’ coach Doh-toni are just an absolute mess right now. And just to make things even more interesting, there are injuries, mystery, intrigue, vets returning, and a scheme to divert water reservoir rights. With Pau Gasol out for two weeks with a bum groin and a good chance out of L.A. before the trade deadline, this whole team is turning into the end of Chinatown. “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown!” And you really can forget pretty much everyone on this team right now, as three vets returned, two guys got hurt, and it’s turning into a bigger Hollywood disaster than The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I bet Norbit could play PF for the purple and gold! Since going through everything that happened for the crumbling Lakers would be an 800-word paragraph, let’s hop out of the open and machine gun through em, plus what else happened last night in the world of fantasy hoops:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I might be making this up, but doesn’t Denver play the Flavor Flav “Yeah Boy!” when Randy Foye hits a three? Well I hope they do! After a brutal Super Bowl for the Broncos (and America), the Denver populous got some slight redemption with Foye hitting this buzzer-beater last night. Sportscenter! But even with that game-winner, Foye had a rainbow flirt of 14/7/4/1/2. That’s not ThrAGNOF! Even with Ty Lawson back, Foye is rackin’ up multi-cat!? I haven’t been a big Foye fan for shallower leagues this year – I thought he was constantly overvalued – but getting 16 dimes in his previous game then a nice all-around line last night with Ty-Ty back; I think I’m a little more a believer. Sure it’s only one game against a fast-paced Clippers team, but 40+ minutes yet again last night and now in three straight games and Foye is looking pretty locked in for good value right now. Owned in 57% of Yahoo leagues seems a little thin. Show ya Foye a little Flavor of Love. Here’s what else I saw last night in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Super Bowl Sunday was a fail across the board. Joe Namath messed up the coin toss. The Red Hot Chili Peppers refuse to wear shirts. The Broncos refused to play football. And the only game we got on the NBA slate to rival the Super Fail was the Magic against the Celtics. A combined 28-68 record heading into the game, but hey, at least no one was wearing this coat! Russell Westbrook now has a wardrobe to makeover… Anywho, it was an electric 27 minutes for Rajon Rondo, who had his best game since returning. 9-11 from the field for a 19/6/10/3/0 slash can get anyone rolling. Well, except maybe the Broncos offense… Hopefully Rondo won a few people their matchups this week and their Sundays weren’t ruined by all that food and beer turning into absolute lethargy like I’m feeling right now. But alas we have fantasy’s best sport to pull us through the soul-sucking quicksand that was the Super Bowl as we grow nearer and nearer the playoffs. Here’s what else I saw this weekend in NBA action:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just like a vacation to Cape Cod, Tim Hardaway Jr. got a sabbatical Mike Woodson’s bench at the start of 2014. “My New Year’s resolution will be… Bench my best players! Well except Melo…” Playing under 15 minutes in first 5 2014 games, it looked like it would be a Hardaway Way Back. But as they say, “slow and steady wins the race!” Then how come Andrew Bynum isn’t running track? “Usain Bolt got nothing on me!” Then starting on the 14th, Coach Woody got Timmy Tim more minutes, capped off with 30+ in three of the last four. And man, was last night some straight ballin’! Topping his career-high by 8, Timmay(!) went 29/3/1 in 31 minutes, shooting a sizzling 11-17 FG with 6-12 from deep. “That means he made every shot inside the arc!” Thanks arbitrary remark man! Enough with the quotes this morning JB… This game was virtually over the second Tyler Zeller lost the tip to Tyson Chandler (the ridiculous mismatch on the tip was a nice foreshadowing of the game…) and the Knicks embarrassed the Cavs about as bad as “The Decision.” But while Timmay(!) racked up some points in junk time, the Knicks have won four straight with him helping to stretch the floor. Of course no Iman Shumpert factors in, but there’s no way Coach Woody doesn’t have some morning woody seeing 4 straight wins – thanks to a lot less of Timmay(!) on the pine and more of him on… hardwood. So I think Hardaway Jr. is here to stay as a ThrAGNOF, which isn’t necessarily a derogatory term. Stream him when you can even in shallow leagues! Free points and threes! But not much else… Here’s what else I saw last night in a light slate of Thursday games:Please, blog, may I have some more?