So the season’s wrapping up, fantasy-wise, most of you should be in your last week of playoffs, or near it. I do trust you’ve had fun so far, I know I have. I wanted to leave with a Chris Rock-esque drop of the microphone, but I’m struggling to convey that through print. In addition, it really only works if you have built up to a high point, a crescendo, if you will, and I have been moving in the opposite direction really. Perhaps meekly putting the mike back to where I found it is more appropriate.
In actuality, I only got the opportunity to write for you, dear sports fan, due to a metaphoric injury, much like a prize fighter who gets subbed in for by a scrub at the last minute, because the headliner broke his hand. But the show must go on…
I will endeavor to continue to provide you, good reader, with the best advice your money can buy. And seeing as this is a free service, mitigate your expectations accordingly:
Moe Harlkess SF
Moe. Moe. Moe. He’s has been a terrific late season fantasy pick-up. Averaging 15.6 points, 7.5 boards, and a scorching 2.3 steals per game over the last 6, Moe Money has proven that in basketball, even on the terrible teams, somebody has to produce. And he’s available in 40% of fantasy leagues. Moe. Say it, it’s infectious. Like cholera.
Wesley Johnson SF
Averaging 15.5 over the last 3 games, got 21 points, hitting 5 3Pts last game, and is a legit deep ball option in a pinch. He’s been playing major minutes lately, and the Suns got nothing better to field, may as well let the kids play pick-up.
Brandon Bass PF
I know He’s in the Add category, but I really wanna… Ready for it? Drop the BASS!! Screeee ..…wub, wub, wub, bumbity-bumbity waaaaahh. Ok, he’s not actually a great PF, not a beast on the boards, but he will get play with Big Ticket out for a while. 13.5 points, 7 boards over the last 5 games. You could do worse, right?
Damien Wilkins SG
Like JB told you kids: “Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!” And his slightly less popular wisdom: Damien Wilkins continues to be overlooked. He’s averaged 18 points, 3 boards, just under 3 dimes , along with 2 steals in his last 4 games, with Nick Young out. Most importantly, owned in about 7% of leagues. Snatch him up if you have a slumping shooter. Ahem, not that I’ve ever had that problem. Move along!
Arron Afflalo SG
Affalo is a gentle soul. He likes playing soft jazz on the weird Kenny G straight saxophone, and that’s ok in my books, but he’s out for the season, it has been determined. If you’re not keeping him in a, you know “keeper league”, dump him. Maybe he can finally concentrate on his music, and the joy it brings.
Metta World Peace SF
Nothing gives me more pleasure than reporting that Metta “Elbows” Artest is out for 6 weeks. The man is 2 parts vinegar, 1 part rose water: pure douche. Maybe now he can focus on his music again, and lay down some rhymes on Afflo’s sultry sounds. Brandon can drop the bass…
Kevin Garnett PF
The walking wounded keeps coming. KG’s out for 2 weeks with an ankle injury. He won’t be back in time to be fantasy relevant.
Tyler Hansbrough PF
Tyler was a pick-up I recommended earlier, and while he can be a bit of an instigator, I have admired his boyish good looks and his consistant numbers while David West has been injured. But D. West is due back Thursday, so it will affect Tyler’s fantasy production in short order. You have been advised.
Thanks for reading my little blog droppings, I hope you have found them informative and entertaining. Here’s my Danny Tanner wrap up: I think we all learned something during this exercise, and that is that, primarily, it sounds like Tehol will stick his junk into just about anything. And I know very little about basketball.
Good luck in the finals!