When the mythical beast of the Goromotaro was awakened, we’ve seen very few bigs able to top the 20/20 plateau. It’s what hindsight is! Then Anthony Davis goes out and drops a 40-burger topped with multi-cat sauce. “Welcome to King Burger where you can have it your way but don’t get crazy!” Brow went too crazy! 40/21/3/1/3. Sassy. Almost a rainbow, definitely a Goromotaro, and certainly spiking the Brow value into probably the 3rd pick next year. I said early on in the year I’d go top-5, but he’s locked in the three hole now. You can set it and forget it. Plus he’s a redonk 29 for his last 29 at the stripe. Just so valuable that one of the big Boards-N-Blocks can actually hit free throws. So in drafts next year, you can pass on Andre Drummond and DeAndre Jordan later on. Plus you won’t be looking at your roster and taunting it like Katt Williams when pulled over by Shaq. “No – could you hit a free throw!” Here’s what else I saw over the weekend:
Jeff Green - Fantasy goodness? From Jeff Green? What kind of Twilight Zone shizz is going on out here! 12-23 (4-7 3PTM and 11-12 FT). Blowin’ up the Pels! If your team hasn’t been sunk with his awfulness, you’re still hanging on through the playoffs. Like me in one league. I’ve hovered my mouse over drop like a hawk.
Gerald Green - The Green brothers! Did Danny Green do anything good? Nope! Only 5/2/2/0/0 from Danny, letting the Greens down. But to Gerald, went for 28 after single digit scoring the previous two, for 28/5/2. “We Green?” “Super Green!” Hasn’t gotten a steal in three of four games, not loving the sub-30 minutes run. I honestly just wanted to see how far I’d get before matt throws his shoe at the computer.
Kyrie Irving - Ruh roh. MRI on his biceps. The MRI will show a gun in his bicep. While in the imaging room, Kyrie busts in and yells “Welcome to the gun show!” Best prank ever.
Tristan Thompson - You can’t spell Tristan Thompson without… um… “is”. As in, “TT is terrible lately!” Cricket cricket… Yeah definitely a streamboat through the playoffs.
Gorgui Dieng - Whoa! 12/11/0/2/5. No Nikola Pekovic or Ronny Turiaf, so big man minutes to spare! Pek has a bum ankle that’s lingered and Turiaf still needs some time with the knee. They gave Dieng 37 minutes so I think there’s some pickup potential, but he doesn’t play until Wednesday so might wanna hold back until then.
Derrick Williams - 26/11 outta nowhere. Meh, doesn’t disturbingly little else in these outlier games.
Stephen Curry - 37/4/5 with 6 treys. Two big games like this and you won’t even miss him next week!
Thomas Robinson - Dude. What in the bloody hell? Everything is positive, then bam. Gets the apparent opportunity with LaMarcus Aldridge out, but Stotts is out there running Dorrell Wright like it’s 2009. He’s hit 7 threes the last two games 13/4/0/1/1 on Sunday. Just straight up ThrAGNOF.
Jared Sullinger - Hey, at least I was pretty good with Sully! Producing should-own type numbers, going 14/9/4/1/2 and hitting two treys yesterday. Erstwhile, Kris Humphries continues his reign of terror as being fantasy relevant with a 16/12/3/1/3 line. I could so do him on a motorcycle right now. “I call this one Harley, this one Davidson, and the main man my choppah!” Um, yeah enough of that, both dudes near-multi-cats, still like Sully more but pretty nice run for K-Hump.
Mario Chalmers - Yikes. My b. 6/0/4/1/0 with 5 TOs shooting 3-9. I haven’t hated Mario this bad until I accidentally watched some of the movie on UPN as a kid. Ray Allen then comes off the bench and shuttlesworths his way to 25 Pts and 4 treys, with only one rogue rebound filtering into his other stats. I would type some sort of Razzball-acronym here, but I’m sure you saw it coming…
Jonas Valanciunas - Hmmmm. 15/5/1/2/1 and two straight good games. I need to watch some game action, maybe he got the pep back in his step. Only 5 boards though in 32 minutes?! What is he, Brook Lopez!? I call bad opposing big men! But he had a good one against the Grizz too… Umm, some other excuse!
Brandon Knight - Do a carbomb every time Knight is awesome! Oh man, rough one for me. 21/8/7/3/0 last night with three treys. Totally has the upside to have some big weeks and be an X Factor. Let’s do this BK. Where you really can get crazy!
Gary Neal - Wow, 18+ Pts the last three games with multi-treys in each. Three’s a plenty!
Apologies a little short today, but don’t want to keep you from St. Patty’s all day! Full recap tomorrow. But you should still be sure and vote for the 2013-2014 NBA Razzies! So many good candidates this year. May your week 1 of the playoffs start strong!