Word ’round the campfire is that the power forward everybody loves to hate dared to whisper about a H.A.S. (high ankle sprain) ion the last 24 hours. No, Rick Mahorn wasn’t whispering anything. Rick Mahorn doesn’t whisper. He screams quietly. Different generation’s hatable PF. Dude’s old enough that stomping a cockroach too hard gives him a high ankle sprain. I’m talking about Chris Bosh, kids. He hasn’t played in 10 days and if his self-diagnosis of a subtle and complicated lower extremity injury is to be believed (and why shouldn’t it!?!) the Mighty Bosh isn’t just out for the week, he’s out for a chunka weeks. Chunka weeks, bee tee dubya, are somewhere between hella months and über days. At any rate, I’d start looking elsewhere for your tri-weekly19/8. And by elsewhere, I mean away from Miami’s roster. Mike Miller will get some extra burn with the roster getting shuffled around, but guys like Joel Anthony just ain’t gonna cut it. Definitive word should come out before Thursday, but it looks probable that he’ll miss at least another week of games and possibly 3-4 months worth. Other than that, Bosh is perfectly fine.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy basketball:
Alonzo Gee – DNP-CD. Does Nothing Productive – Can Drop.
Daniel Gibson – Averaging 15/4.8 in his first four games since returning from injury. Plus, he missed two weeks, so he isn’t filled with the same crippling sense of worthlessness as his teammates and should improve on these averages in another week or so. So that’s a bonus!
Sasha Vujacic – Anthony Morrow is almost certainly going to slide into the starting SG spot within the next week, pushing Stephen Graham (he’s the New Jersey Graham, right?) to the backup SG role with the Machine. And as we know, machines need frequent oil to run smoothly. Oil is for closers only!
Greg Monroe – 7/4 in 31 foul-plagued minutes. Started over Ben Wallace (good), but he had to earn his Dwight of Passage by guarding the big man all night (bad). Hey, it happens to the bets. It happens to the rest.
Tracy McGrady – T-Mac dug a little deeper against the second team in his career to caste him out (. So I guess the takeaway here is that McGrady exerted a little energy without crumbling like the Grecian Ruins.
Austin Daye – Season-high 20 points, season-high 34 minutes. I’m gonna go ahead and let you do the math. Unless you happen to work for the Detroit Pistons, in which case I should probably just spell it out for you.
Ryan Anderson – He’s scored 15+ points and sank 3+ 3pt in all but one of his last seven games. Don’t make me belabor this. I hate belaboring. He’s the Florida Mike Miller you should own if you were unlucky enough to own the actual Florida Mike Miller.
Jerryd Bayless – Played ill (15/8/11) while Calderon was feeling ill. One is the good kind and one is the bad. Doesn’t matter if you know which one because Joe Kettle should be back for the next game.
Julien Wright – 11/9 with 2 blocks in 41 minutes. Is that a good performance or a bad one? Is the glass half full of refreshing water or is it half full with cyanide?
Vince Carter – Six points on 1-for-6 shooting. He’s taken less than seven shots in two of his last four games, shooting .250 in that span. Nash don’t like Carter’s steez. Am I using that word correctly? Steez means “diminishing ability to play basketball” right?
Evan Turner - 14/8/5 in 33 minutes. Still playing inconsistently, but the good news in the last month is that now some of that inconsistency includes good games instead of just fluctuating between poo, crap and shizz.
Andray Blatche – 2-for-10. His surname also serves as onomatopoeia for his performance.
Chase Budinger – He played 33 minutes on Saturday and sank three threes. He played 14 minutes last night and sank just as many. I say play him until he hits a trio of treys and bench him immediately afterward.
Corey Brewer – Started. Played fewer than 10 minutes, ceded most of his time to Wesley Johnson‘s amaze-a-line (19/3/4 with three steals and two blocks). He’s neck-and-neck with the Milwaukee baseball franchise as the most boring Brewers in the upper Midwest. I’d rather own Johnson over Brewer even despite Corey’s spot in the rotation. I’d rather own someone better than both, however.
Carlos Delfino – He’s shooting sub-.300 across the board in his first three games since returning from a concussion. He still looks concussed. Delfino. DELete. FInito NOpe.
Chris Douglas-Roberts – Dropped 30 points on the unsuspecting Bulls, but like most other CD-Rs, the chances of continued replay quality remaining this high are almost nil.
Kurt Thomas – Thoroughly outplayed Carlos Boozer upon his return. Which says more about Thomas’ game than Boozer’s return. If you just lost Bosh or need a big guy in deeper leagues, Thomas has been the better pickup between him and Taj Gibson this month.
LaMarcus Aldridge – LMAO (LaMarcus Aldridge Off-night). 4-of-14 from the field. His hip don’t lie. He ain’t feeling tip-top.
Antonio McDyess – 14/10 and just his second double-double of the season. I’m pretty sure McDyess is DeJuan Blair‘s father. As long as you don’t think about that too hard, it makes total sense.
David Lee – 31/12. Great. One game down. 81 more to go.
Andris Biedrins – Did you forget Biedrins was starting for the Warriors? ‘Cause I did. Follow-up question, why is he still starting for the Warriors? Drop him if, for some reason, you haven’t already.