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It was a mere two weeks ago that we were here, in this very space, talking about the living embodiment of a game of “Q*bert,” Nene Hilario.

We knew it was coming. Nene’s gone all screwy on us again, deciding that his foot hurt and that he would need to “step away.” Wouldn’t it be great to be able to do that at work whenever crap went bad? Eh, hey, sorry I messed up that TPS report boss, I think I’m just gonna “step away.”

The chief beneficiary to this mess is Trevor Booker.  Prior to Nene’s latest hiatus, which began three games ago, Booker wasn’t even listed on the Wizards depth chart.

Yet when Nene did his Nene thing coach Randy Wittman reached to the end of his bench and grabbed the beefy Booker. One of the geekiest-looking players in NBA history was rewarded: In the three games that Nene’s been out, Booker has averaged 16-11-1, including a monstrous 24-12-1 in a near-win against the Atlanta Hawks.

You’d think starting center Marcin Gortat would stand to benefit, but so far he hasn’t done much to pick up the slack. There’s also been some time off the pine for flying Frenchman Kevin Seraphin, who deposited 16 points and three boards in a blowout to the Clips and is capable of getting gobs of rebounds and blocks.

But Booker is the guy to watch. At least while Nene’s out, and then whenever Nene is out again, and then when he’s out again, etc.

More things I saw last week:

John HensonIs he a man? Or is he a Muppet? He’s a Muppet of a man who’s averaging 16 ppg, 10 rpg and 2.6 bpg in his last five.

Kevin Love – One of fantasy’s best capped off a beastly week by showing he could block shots, too, erasing three shots in a 30-9 performance last night in Memphis.

Dwight Howard – Don’t like him in real life. He’s OK in standard fantasy formats. But he’s gotta be a load in a 5×5 league where percentages don’t count. Wish he wasn’t such a DB.

Joakim Noah – He’s all healed up and back to his double-doubling self, the one who also gets hustle stats like blocks and steals. This is bad for Taj Gibson owners and, oddly enough, bad for the Bulls who seem to play better when Gibson gets minutes.

Robin Lopez – Rasta-haired R-Lo continues to tell the preseason naysayer to put it in their bong and smoke it with a barrage of double-doubles, which continued last night with 12 points and 13 rebounds against the Pistons surprisingly porous frontcourt. Nothing flashy, just super-reliable.

LaMarcus Aldridge Have you seen those Toyota ads with the lady who looks like Flo from the Progressive commercials who just sits behind a desk and talks to some of the dumbest customers on the planet? If you were watching the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Cincinnati Bengals on “Sunday Night Football” last night, you saw one installment of the commercial 400 times. The same one, 400 times. I’m pretty sure that’s a low-ball number. In this one specific unconvincing spot the Flo clone tells a customer that Toyotas are great, and the dimwit lady says it sounds like she hit the jackpot “again.” “Again?” Fake Flo asks. Just then, the customer is joined by her beefcake boyfriend who brings her a mochachino and a cute little puppy he rescued. Without saying a word, the Flo clone closes her eyes and makes this little mini-moan of ecstasy. It’s the exact sound I made when I saw Aldridge’s line of 31 points, 25 rebounds and 2 blocks on Dec. 12 against Houston. Oh, and he’s averaging 26-17-2 over his last three. Mmmmm.

Andray Blatche – There should be a sign taped to Blatche’s back that reads “In case of Brook Lopez injury throw on court.” He got a head start with a 21-9 against the Clippers and then popped a 20-12-1 in the Pistons aise when BroLo sat out on Friday.

Glen Davis – Ran into the hoop stanchion and hurt his shoulder last night. It’d be a shame if Big Baby went down as he’s been a nice source of rebounds, blocks and some scoring. It’ll also be a shame for Tobias Harris owners who will finally find out about the guy who has been eating up a space on their roster all year (answer: it won’t be good news).

The Rudy Gay trade – Never has a deal had such a small Board-N-Block impact as the trade that sent Gay and some garbage to Sacramento and Greivis Vasquez and some junk to Toronto. It’s noteworthy for being so unnoteworthy on that score (or any score, really) except that Patrick Patterson had three blocks in two games for the Raptors, and Aaron Gray (who I so wish was Erin Gray) had 7 points and 9 boards Friday at Phoenix. Gray might actually be deep league relevant. Like, real deep. Like, as deep as this year’s REL.

Jeremy Evans – Has pulled down 11 rebounds in each of his last two games despite getting only about 20 minutes per game coming off the bench behind 382-year-old Richard Jefferson. Yes, that Richard Jefferson. And, yes, Tyrone Corbin wants to get fired badly.

Steven Adams – I don’t have Scottie Brooks in my contacts but I’m thinking he’s had more than one conversation with Thunder management about how they would have loved for Steve Adams to take Kendrick Perkins’ job. Didn’t happen and probably won’t as the rookie has been relegated to the netherworld of the edge of the bench. If you thought you had a late-draft steal, you thought wrong.

Miles Plumlee – The former Boards-N-Blocks Playmate faded toward the edges of the radar since his headlining turn, but he’s back and owners who hung onto him or paid attention and got him on the rebound are real happy today: In his last two games he’s put up a 12-9-3 against Sacramento and a 6-10-3 last night in a win against Golden State.

Little Big Man of the Week: P.J. Tucker. Here’s one of the weirder fantasy players since Reggie Evans first burst on the scene. Tucker is a 6-6 swingman (SG/SF in Yahoo) who plays like a 6-10 power forward – he’s averaging 9 boards over his last five. What makes Tucker even more of an oddball is that he doesn’t block shots but gets steals, averaging 2.2 in his last five. He starts for the Suns, so he’s worth a look.

  1. Clyde Prompto says:
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    Hahaha God I hate those Toyota commercials. The most loathsome one is the guy who comes in with his son and is all like “I loved the brand new $30.000 pickup I bought last year so much I’m coming in to buy ANOTHER one and I’m giving the other one to my doofus kid.” Then the punchline is the kid asks if he can have the family boat as well. HAHAHA TOTALLY RELATABLE TO 90% OF AMERICA, GUYS.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Clyde Prompto: Yeah I buy new pickups whenever I feel the urge, like on my phone when I’m sitting on the sh*tter, in between answering comments posted to Boards-N-Blocks.

      • Clyde Prompto says:
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        @Pete Nice: Hahaha people have always told me that the real money was in the blogging game. I wish I’d have listened.

  2. Gio says:
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    Pete, what do u think of Valanciunas for my J. Butler? I need Boards n Blocks badly!

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Gio: I’m no scout by any means, and really when it comes to actually playing basketball I’m just as nerdy and inept as any sportswriter. That being said, I seem to have this innate ability to look at a player I know nothing about and project that he’ll either suck or be a stud.

      You’d think given the Rose injury and what the Bulls need now, Butler would be a great asset. But he looks goofy as sh*t. He looks like Iron Mike in “Mike Tyson’s Punchout.” He’s like Norris Cole or Iman Shumpert – both will never be good because of their dopey do’s and/or jacked up appearances.

      Jonas doesn’t give me a vibe either way but he seems like he’ll be a solid source of B-n-B’s all year. I’d do it.

      • Gio says:
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        @Pete Nice:

        Great insight, and love reading your column…Helps me with my rough morning commute.

        Thank you!

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
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          @Gio: Glad to hear it, and thanks for the kind words my man!

  3. lemon pepper my wings says:
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    12 team points league. Got offered rudy gay for my ty lawson. My point guards are jeff teauge, ty lawson, trey burke, bledsoe, and p bevs. My small forwards are durantula and kris middleton. I’m thinking I should do it since i have so many point guards. What do u think?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @lemon pepper my wings: I wouldn’t give up Lawson. Your would-be trade partner is playing on the false notions that a) Gay will be a stud in Sac-Town and b) that Lawson sucks now because he’s had a few bad games since coming back from injury.

      Kings are a team in flux (or chaos?) right now, so it’s hard to say how the Gay trade will shake out – IT2 is really blossoming, Cousins is still down low, Jason Thompson might get dealt to get Derrick Williams in there, etc. So who gets the shots/points?

      I still like him, though, just not for Lawson. Offer PBev and Middleton.

  4. Rudy says:
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    TS report hahaha! Yea Pete. Yeaaaaaaaaaaa

  5. Dreadz says:
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    Hey Pete, worth dropping Khris Middleton for Booker in a 16 team h2h dynasty? Khris seems to be fading, while Booker could be a good stash ROS if/when a cartoon piano falls on top of Nene. Thanks!

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Dreadz: Yeah sounds good to me. And if you want to get Middleton back he should still be out there because no one can find him because his name is so messed up. I look for Chris, Kris, Peter Criss, nothing. Who spells it Khris?

  6. Luis says:
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    Need some trade advice. I have Josh Smith and Im in second. I want to improve in TO’s and/or 3 pointers, in total 3’s and percentage so J-Smoothe is no good in those categories. Would you trade him for Ryan Anderson? Or Big Al? Are you worried about Big Al at all? Scheme wise or with his ankle? Is it not enough for Smith? I was even thinking of Parsons for Smith because of Chandlers shooting %

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Luis: After J Smoove’s last two games I bet you could get him for Big Al easy. I’m wondering though if he’s finally coming around in Motown. If you did any of them I’d do Jefferson but for now I’d hold.

  7. Fantasy Newb says:
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    My Lillard and Amir Johnson for Klay Thompson and Boozer. Should I accept?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Fantasy Newb: Earlier this year i would have said yes – I was sky high on Klay. Not having Iggy has really hurt him though. I’d see what happens when Iggy comes back and revisit. Amir and Boozer are almost a wash to me btw.

  8. Kevin says:
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    Hey JB. If i’m looking to drop Tyeke evans, what would you recommond for another SG/SF? Trade for a) jeremy lamb b)sefolosha c) wes johnson d)farmar or e)hold onto tyreke evans.

    Thanks again JB and all the rest of razzball. I check here everyday. You guys are awesome as always.

    • Kevin says:
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      @Kevin: oh. and looking for steals. 3pt would be nice too.

      • Pete Nice

        Pete Nice says:
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        @Kevin: Hi Kevin! You probably won’t did JB in these parts. He won the Millenium Falcon from me in a card game and there’s a bounty on his head. Anyway I say hold on Tyreke just a little bit longer.

        • Kevin says:
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          @Pete Nice: hahah. oops. Thanks, Pete! Will do.

  9. hamtime says:
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    just gave up on kanter.

    i traded my kanter+splitter for tyson chandler+farmar. i know the guys are got are injured, but they are coming back soon. good trade?

    also, should i trade derrick williams for vazquez or Alphabet?

    thanks!

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @hamtime: The Kanter-Chandler part is pretty ok but the Splitter-Farmar i dunno. All in all a cool low-level trade. I like it.

  10. flo clone moan’s spot on. f*ck Dwight and f*ck the chevy santa commercials!

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Sheriff McRawDawg: Yea if that grisly fat boy isn’t really Santa he needs his teeth kicked in.

  11. Jon says:
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    would you drop Brandon Knight or Paul Pierce for Terrence Ross in a 12 team roto?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Jon: No I wouldn’t but if you had to drop him for one I’d do Ross.

  12. Kevin says:
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    Would you trade brook lopez and amir johnson OR brook lopez and spencer hawes for lamarcus aldridge? Need some advice and take into account which one the owner would bite on?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Kevin: Man if you can get Aldridge for Brook and Amir that is rad and I want you to come back here and tell me. Not as sure fire about Brook and Hawes but I’d probably still end up doing it because LA gives me such a stiffie.

  13. Aj says:
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    Thoughts on offering up Robin Lopez/Eric Gordon for IT2? Too much or good time to try and sell Lopez

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Aj: It kind of feels like a lot. Gordon could theoretically put up numbers like IT2 minus the assists, and Lopez is a double-double machine. IT2’s stock is high right now, so it would take this deal and maybe even more to get him. Try Gordon straight up and then Gordon with something less than R-Lo.

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